Okay, I understand that there is a lot going on out there right now. I've seen all the polls showing such great news (excluding the recent AP poll which is clearly either an outlier or just simply a fabrication). We have Sarah "Bush in a Prada Skirt" Palin's wardrobe malfunction. And we have all the Robo-calls from Hell with which to be concerned. Oh yeah, and that little thing called the economy.
But that doesn't mean we should totally turn our back and forget about the other issues. And the issue that scares me most is John McCain's complete disregard for a woman's physical and mental health. So much so, in fact that I had to write a diary on it even though I've never posted such a thing in my life (and I apologize if I'm doing it all wrong, but please give me credit for trying!).
Obviously McCain is against abortion rights and I know I will never agree on his politics regarding women's reproductive rights, but to use air quotes and call the concern for a woman's health an "extreme" pro choice view was beyond disgusting. It was dangerous. And I know it was talked about a lot right after the debate, but then it got lost somewhere between Joe the Plumber and Michele Bachmann's plans to revive HUAC. And we can't let that happen. We need to continue the dialogue and we need to make people aware of just what it would mean if you disregard the exception for women's health. We need to make people realize that it is John McCain who is extreme and that his statements would have an affect on real women - women you probably know.
My greatest friend in the whole world has been trying to have a baby with her husband for 3 years now. And having suffered through infertility myself (we were lucky and able to finally conceive through IVF) I know how emotionally and physically draining it can be. But what I didn't realize was that she is a prime example of a woman who had an abortion to save her life. Because while she has been able to conceive 3 times in the past 3 years, the first two ended in miscarriage and the third ended in an ectopic (tubal) pregnancy. An ectopic pregnancy is already a dangerous condition but her body wasn't dealing with it properly on her own and so she and her doctors agreed that she would have to have an induced miscarriage. In other words: an abortion.
And so there she was, her dreams shattered, having been given unbelievably strong drugs that made her cramp and bleed, taking blood test after blood test to make sure that her hormone levels decreased and that the fetus inside her wouldn't kill her.
Can you imagine having what you've wanted more than anything in the world and then having to end it all because your life was at risk? And then imagine having some man who doesn't know you, doesn't have a clue as to what you're going through, and doesn't really care tell the world that the hardest thing you've ever gone through is just a ploy used by the Left to allow loose women to use abortion as birth control? What if McCain had his way and there was no exception for a woman's health. Would her doctors have just sent her home and said sorry, hope this works itself out in the end?
Some people I know think I'm a bit fanatical when it comes to reproductive rights. They think of it as an issue that really doesn't apply to them or that they support in theory. But after John McCain's statements, its not theoretical anymore. Even most of the pro-life people I know would admit that my friend's case would justify an abortion. And her case is not so rare. I've talked to other women and realize I know two others who have been in the same place, in those same circumstances. It wasn't a difficult decision for them - it was have an abortion or you die. I can't imagine John McCain would choose otherwise for himself or expect anyone he knew to choose otherwise. Yet he wants to paint that choice as an extremist political position. Trust me, my friend wasn't thinking about politics when she faced this situation.
My friend really is amazing though. She and her husband are now looking into adoption and are simultaneously trying to get pregnant again because she wants a baby more than anything in this world. And that's a feeling that is really hard to describe to someone if they've never experienced the fear and the anxiety and the desperation that goes with trying unsuccessfully for so long. But she's able to keep trying because an abortion saved her life. And I know that however they become a family, she and her husband will be great parents. I can't write it without sounding like a cliche, but honestly, they're such amazing people and they deserve all the happiness I can imagine for them. And they certainly deserve the right to health care that is unfrettered by the threat of John McCain (or even worse, Palin).
I guess the reason for my diary is two fold:
First, I want to continue to make the issues the focus in these last two weeks leading up to the election. One of the things I admired most about Barack Obama in the primaries and throughout this campaign was his continued diligence of sticking to the issues, even in the face of despicable mudslinging. And this is an issue that should be important to everyone - not just women, and certainly not just leftist abortionist women.
Second, I think the key to any discussion about reproductive rights is an open dialogue. And this includes not just abortion and contraception, but infertility and sexual education. We are still so collectively embarrassed or ashamed to talk about these subjects that we marginalize them and the only thing that gets heard are the shouts about baby-killers. But that's another thing I really like about BHO. When he talks about this subject, he doesn't just look at it from the point of view of a pro-choice politician, but rather in a holistic way. He looks at all the issues causing unwanted pregnancies and talks about all the different factors.
So please, share my friend's story, or share your own. Just keep talking about it. Even after the election, when Barack Obama is sworn in, keep talking about it. Don't let Joe the Plumber overshadow the issues that really matter.