(Thanks to Joel from MST3K for the inspiration for my title)
Most of us have to report back to someone in our jobs, and nothing can make a tolerable job less so than a boss who makes your life into a H-E-double-sippie-straws.
Here's a review of some of the worst "boss types" I've worked with, and how best to deal with them.
Boss Type: Attila the Yeller
Primary Moods: Angry, angry, enraged
Motivation Tactics: Fear-based
Quote: "I'm mad... I'm real mad!"
Like an attendee of a McCain/Palin rally, this guy is usually mad. Or perhaps this boss is usually much calmer -- nice, even -- but when things don't go right, he totally loses his head.
The best way to survive this boss type is to learn what his trigger is. If you are causing the anger (directly or indirectly), try to do what you can to avoid it. If you're not the one making the boss angry, then just try to stay out of his way and maybe have a talk with the person who is.
The worst thing about this boss is that his rage makes him hard to communicate with -- even when you need to talk to him so you'll know what to do next in your work. Maintain a level, calm tone of voice when speaking to him and only speak when necessary.
Boss Type: The Nanomanager
Primary Moods: Cranky, nit-picky
Motivation Tactics: Constant scrutiny, endless updates
Quote: "Why do you staple so low on the paper? I can barely read the next page?"
With this boss type, it's always something. A huge blunder on your part is treated practically the same as a minor oversight. Worse yet, these bosses are often poor communicators when they need to be, yet they go over things you understand already in mind-numbing detail.
To prevent this boss from looking over your shoulder too often, check in with him on your own initiative. Send an e-mail if pressed for time. You might even consider scheduling a regular meeting with him every morning to let him know what you plan to work on during the workday.
The worst thing about this boss is he makes you feel like he doesn't trust you. But don't argue. He's got his way of doing things, and so you have to make your way as close to his way (within reason) as possible.
Boss Type: Commander Demander
Primary Moods: Aloof, uncaring, unsympathetic
Motivation Tactics: Giving you even more work to do
Quote: "I need it yesterday."
This boss' constant shoveling of projects into your inbox belies an almost total lack of empathy toward your ability to get things done. Even as you just started working on something he gave you to do, he drops by your office 15 minutes later with another assignment.
Since you can't really risk being labeled a whiner by taking issue with your workload, you must instead get a grasp on what your boss expects you to do first. They key is prioritization. Ask your boss which of your assignments is the most important.
If he doesn't tell you what he wants to have on his desk first, then make a list and take a guess at what his priorities are. No matter what you do, don't try to rush through your work. Don't be sloppy. Instead, just tackle one item at a time rather than trying to work on everything at once.
Boss Type: Michael Scott
Primary Moods: Friendly, not always organized or on task
Motivation Tactics: Office parties, casual Fridays
Quote: "Let's go out for pizza today."
The boss who wants to be your friend can seem at first like a godsend. After all, he's not a bad guy. It could be a lot worse. But as time goes on, you might find that things could be a lot better, too.
It's great to be on friendly terms with a boss, but when you're actually friends with your boss, it can be a nightmare. Your co-workers may suspect favoritism and resent you. He may not push you to your full potential. And you could wind up in a less-than-favorable employment situation simply because you like your boss.
Maintain a comfortable distance between yourself and your boss. Keep the personal and the professional separate in all things. Treat your boss as you would a superior who you didn't particularly like. You can still crack jokes now and then or maybe even go out for a beer now and then after work, but don't forget who is in charge.
Boss Type: Principal Peter (aka: Sarah Palin)
Primary Moods: Either exuding overconfidence or hopelessly insecure
Motivation Tactics: Keeping you down, building himself up
Quote: "That's a terrible idea. Here's my idea!"
This boss is an insufferable know-it-all who downplays your contributions at work or might even attempt to take credit for them. They do this to hide the horrible truth -- that they are in way over their heads. Despite this, they want to be treated like experts even though they sometimes lack basic job skills.
If you can work around this boss in any way, try to do so. However, don't make it obvious. Because this boss is trying to suppress your good work, you have to work that much harder if you are going to stand out.
The idea is to show other people (through hard work) that you are even more on the ball than your own boss. If you can do this in a way that doesn't result in reprisals from the boss, you might even wind up sitting in his chair someday.
Boss Type: Mr. Blah
Primary Moods: Shiftless, gray, barely visible
Motivation Tactics: Providing vague, directionless instructions
Quote: (in Droopy Dog voice) "I'm so happy..."
This boss believes that the secret to success is to not stand out in any way. He's bland as all get-out, and it impacts his management style horribly. For one thing, he's a terrible delegator. When he provides directions at all, they are so vague that you're not sure what he wants.
When talking with this boss, don't leave his office until you've worked out exactly what you think he wants you to do. Be assertive. Drag it out of him. Ask specific questions. Get it in writing if possible.
Understand that sometimes these types of spineless bosses may be new to management and aren't comfortable in telling people what to do -- even when the job calls for it. Show this boss through your actions that it's OK to do this. You don't mind being told what to do. It's better than not knowing what to do, after all.
In conclusion...
A good general rule is to always try to see things from your superior's point of view. Is there anything you could be doing to improve? What were his expectations of you when you came to the job in the first place? Is he facing some pressures from his own boss that are trickling down to you?
If there just doesn't seem to be any way for you to work with this person at all, it might be time to fire your own boss. It's hard to know when this is the right thing to do, and not everyone has enough career flexibility to do it. But the fact is, some people are just incompatible in a working environment.
And of course, if your boss is doing something unethical or illegal, you have to do the right thing and report it to the appropriate authorities.