Many folks will not be able to afford the usual Christmas this year. Splurging on stuff just plain won't be an option. This may turn out to be the best thing that's ever happened to families who find themselves competing with their own purchases from previous years just to make the kids happy.
This is as good a time as any to teach children that Santa Claus doesn't exist. Jewish kids, Muslim kids, Buddhist kids, and Hindu kids already know this, and to the best of my knowledge, none have ever committed suicide over it. Only young Christian kids think there's a Santa. They eventually find out that it's not so - and they don't commit suicide over it when they find out. Why not tell even the youngest ones about it now?
You'll need to teach kids what you think the holiday season is really about. I'd bet my bottom dollar that there's not a single person out there who truly thinks Christmas is about buying stuff. Tell your kids that Santa is US. And sometimes, family and friends need other things first. Teach kids the difference between wants and needs, and make whatever funds you have count for something meaningful.
First, I have to share the obligatory holiday stories. My Dad (RIP April 2000) was the neighborhood Santa - mainly because he was built for the part and smoked a pipe.
Story 1: One of my earliest memories was standing in my playpen one winter evening when Santa came to visit. I must have been 2 or 3 years old. My Dad always wore a very distinctive watch on the underside of his wrist - a holdover from WWII. I saw Santa's watch and insisted that either Santa was Daddy, or Santa had stolen Daddy's watch. I remember overhearing "the things they notice" and my Mom and Santa trying to convince me that Santa was really Santa. I didn't believe them. Santa left, and never came to visit me again (sniffle, sniffle).
Story 2: One year, we had a very rare green Christmas. While my Dad was visiting a neighbor's kids, one of the them noticed that Santa was driving my Dad's station wagon. My Dad was quick on his feet. He "reminded" the kids that the reindeer couldn't fly if there was no snow on the ground (kids' response: Nod, nod). He asked them if they remembered that Mr ___ was Jewish and wouldn't be doing anything on Christmas Eve (Nod, nod). Then he told them that since he knew that Mr ___ wouldn't be doing anything, and wouldn't be needing the station wagon, he'd asked Mr ___ if he, Santa, could borrow the station wagon, since the reindeer couldn't fly that year due to the lack of snow (Nod, nod). The kids bought it. Everybody was happy.
The point is that kids will believe just about anything we tell them, and that even if Santa is "discovered," they can have a happy holiday season. The fables are fun, the decorations are pretty, the food is good - and that's enough to make most folks content. As for gifts - most of us have both wants and needs, but many of us have forgotten the difference between them. Most of us work hard for our dollars, but many of us haven't taught kids the "value of a buck" that our parents taught us or explained that adults have "allowances" (budgets), too. Why not teach even the youngest kids that food is a need, most toys are wants, and Santa is a fable that started as a nice story, but ended up as a commercial?
Explain that food is a need - ask them if they want to go without anything to eat for the whole next week (they won't). Ask them to find one thing that would be nice to have, but not necessary (a want, not a need). Tell them that Santa is just a story - read them The Night Before Christmas (BTW, I went to school in Troy, NY) and tell them about the history of Santa Claus (they'll like it). But for the commercial part...
Take the kids to a WalMart. After you've gone through the glitzy toy sections and reminded them about wants versus needs and your limited allowance (budget), take them to the automotive section, where tires are wrapped in ribbons and cases of motor oil come in holiday cardboard. Ask them if they want or need those tires or oil (they won't be interested). Ask them why those things are holiday-wrapped (to try to get more people to buy them). Explain that for some people, those things are needs, for others, they're wants, and for others, they're just boring.
The kids may come up with iron-clad reasons why they need a PlayStation. Every other kid has one! They'll die without one! Explain that Santa, who is really you, can't buy it right now. Suggest that if you put some money into a savings account, in a few months the PlayStation will cost less and the money will have made more money - and they might then be able to buy the thing with money left over for more games. Be flexible, patient, and kind but firm. You may have to come up with a definition of interest, but it's worth it.
But what to do with that empty tree at home? Howzabout putting better gifts on it and under it, instead of unnecessary and expensive toys? Use your imagination. Have an old-fashioned Christmas (presents are fruit, nuts, and candy) or even do Christmas the way they do it in another country. European traditions, African traditions, and Christmas traditions from all over the world are easily found on the Intertubes. Most non-American traditions don't involve buying carloads of stuff - but they're fun and different.
I've got my own suggestions to add, too, some of which came from my own holiday upbringing (Jewish). Scan through them. Swipe them. Modify them. Insert your religion into them where you think it's appropriate. But above all else, remember that Christmas isn't at all about Santa giving toys. It's supposed to be about doing for others the way the Christian God did for pre-Christians. Even those who will be alone on the holiday can ease the loneliness by doing something nice for someone else. The biggest gift: love. All of the suggestions celebrate - inexpensively - love for others. Just like the Christian God, who so loved the world, etc., etc. If I, as a Jew, know this, then your kids can learn it, too.
- Any family member can make and give coupon books to other family members (wash dishes, sweep floor, clean a sibling's room, help shovel the sidewalk or driveway, make dinner [such as mac 'n' cheese from a box, with peas added in], take out the trash).
- Anyone can make unique home-made gifts.
- Anyone can make home-made gifts to animals in shelters (clean rags stuffed with catnip or squeakers) can be sewn into assorted shapes. (Betcha didn't know you could buy squeaky-toy squeakers separately, didja?) Check with the shelter first, though.
- Anyone can give a bag of food to animals in shelters.
- A couple of families can pool some money and help people help themselves by giving a goat, ducks, or chickens to a family in Africa. Goats are $75, 5 ducks cost $30, and 2 chickens cost $25.
- Any child can give a favorite item (perhaps a sweater, a cap, or a toy) to a sibling (or give the use of the item for 1 year).
- Anyone can make small gift baskets for residents in nursing homes or homeless people in shelters (toothpaste, toothbrush, soap, shampoo, pencils, paper; toys if battered women's / kids shelter).
- Many people can make jewelry from natural items.
- Anyone can be enticed to make up their own stories and tell them on the holiday (and have an adult write it down for future use). This goes for plays and songs, too.
- Anyone can decorate the food that's going on the table as a gift to everyone else at the table. (Examples: Kids can make a turkey's comb and wattle and wings from paper and decorate a turkey. Family members can make paper faces, legs, and tail for ham. Adults can cut the bottom 3/4 of hot dogs into 8 sections, lengthwise, and serve "octopi" for dinner. Anyone can use peas, diced tomatoes, or dried spices to make faces on bowls of spaghetti. Raisins, dried cherries, or carrot slices, with toothpicks, can make a menagerie from a bag of fruit.)
- Everyone can hang packets of hot chocolate or candy from the tree.
- The whole family can rent a movie and make Jiffy Pop popcorn.
You can make this Christmas count without spending a bundle of money. There's nothing quite like learning by following different traditions, having hot chocolate and being read to, or chomping on popcorn while watching movies - and knowing what it's like to really love and be loved. It works even if you don't have kids. We have met the Santa, and he is us.