Note: I am posting this here at the request of a friend. Please don't expect me to hang around for several hours to address comments. Thank you
-Joe
Once upon a time there was a boy named Johnny who wanted a little blue wagon. In his dreams he had seen it: a beautiful dark blue wagon, well-built, made to carry a lot and still move smoothly. It was the kind his father had when he was a little boy way back when, the kind nearly every kid used to have.
For years, though, the most popular wagons had been the little red wagons made by the GOP Company of Freeperville, Alabama. They were awful little wagons that broke down constantly but they were cheap and easy to replace and the commercials for them were everywhere. This frustrated Johnny to no end, and his friends wondered why he just didn't get a little red wagon like everyone else. Johnny was right, of course: the little red wagons were nothing but a scam, and the GOP Company was rich because people kept having to buy new ones. But nobody cared how bad they were, and some were afraid not to get one because they wouldn't fit in, like Johnny.
But Johnny's parents understood. They really wanted him to have that little blue wagon he had always dreamed of. So all year his father and mother worked hard and saved money so that he could have the best wagon that was out there, and at Christmas, Johnny received a shiny new wagon from the BHO Company of Chicago, Illinois, a beautiful blue wagon with red trim, the best and sturdiest wagon that was currently available, one even his father said was every bit as good as the little blue wagon he had as a kid, and that year many kids got one under their Christmas tree as well. A lot of people still had the crappy old red wagons, but this year the shiny new BHO wagons were the most popular, a big change from days past.
But Johnny hated that wagon. He hated the red trim because red was the color of those other wagons, and he hated the BHO Company of Chicago, Illinois. The wagon of his dreams was built by the DFK Company of Cleveland, Ohio, and if he couldn't have that blue wagon, he didn't want any wagon at all. But his parents told him that this is the best wagon they could get, and since no one was buying the little blue wagons anymore, they were no longer available.
So he kicked it and mistreated it and abused it, and very soon his shiney new wagon looked beat up and worn out, and the wheels started to wobble a bit, and people seeing it thought,"What an awful little wagon! Why did we ever think about buying one?" And Johnny wasn't alone, a few other kids felt the same way. They wanted the little blue wagon from the DFK Company and they wouldn't be satisfied with anything else.
The GOP Company, which owned the newspapers and the radio stations and the TV stations, were more than happy to show Johnny's broken wagon and talk about how bad it was at every opportunity, and also to plug the little red wagons that were still a part of so many households. And so less and less people bought the wagons from the BHO Company, and they were forced to declare bankruptcy, and no one wanted to make little blue wagons any more.
Johnny never got a little blue wagon from his parents ever again, because he had treated the one he had so badly. He never got a little red wagon, either, but that was fine by him. They were still around, unfortunately, because cheap and easy was what everyone wanted, and every time someone tried to build a newer, better wagon, Johnny and his friends worked with the GOP Company to make sure it failed because it wasn't a pure blue wagon made by the DFK Company of Cleveland, Ohio. He still dreamed of that little wagon, but a dream is all that remained. There were no more blue wagons and there never would be. And the GOP Company of Freeperville, Alabama kept making those awful little red wagons and they lived happily ever after.
The End