Jeff Foxworthy is a brilliant comedian. He's not my favorite by any stretch, but I understand what he does and recognize his own brand of genius.
If you've ever climbed up a water tower with a can of spray paint to defend your sister's honor, you might be a redneck.
I could spin a whole paragraph on how effective Foxworthy's humor is, and why it resonates with his audience, but I'll leave that to those who actually enjoy deconstructing humor. Hint: a fine sense of the ridiculous, a genuine sympathy with the audience, and a sense of inclusion: it ain't funny if those damn Yankees make fun of us, but it's okay if we make fun of ourselves.
Yeah, well, whatever. Instead, let's transform this into a meme, a frame if you will, that we can use to let some light into the darkness and confusion cast by our GOP buddies.
If you've ever lied about the Democrats wanting to build a levitating train from Disneyland to a whorehouse in Nevada, you might be a Republican.
Follow me over the wall for a few more examples. Then add your own.
Here's a few more, drawn from random memory, and given the best spin I can manage at the given moment:
If you've ever advocated overthrowing the government as an attempt to sell tickets to your martial-arts show, you might be a Republican.
If you've ever lied about Democrats spending $30 million on a mouse in Nancy Pelosi's district, you might be a Republican.
If you've ever tried to accuse the Democrats of trying to spend $200 million on mowing government lawns, you might be a Republican.
If you've ever gone on Fox News and made fun of soldiers dying in Afghanistan, you might be a Republican. (This one's a bit too ugly to be really funny.)
If you've ever sent pictures of the White House lawn covered in watermelons to your black constituents, you might be a Republican.
If you've ever accused a black man supporting a black candidate for President of racism, and then gone on to call that same black man an Oreo and an Uncle Tom, you might be a Republican. (Okay, this one's a bit long and a bit heavy.)
If you've ever advocated blowing the hell out of a small country but couldn't find the country on a map, you might be a Republican. (This is a good one, attributed to George W., but I can't find a good link.)
The best ones have an element of ridiculousness and humor to them. It's easy to use this for something decidedly unfunny and crashingly awful: If you've ever tortured people to death, you might be a Republican. You won't change any minds with this one.
But imagine how effective this could be, used with the proper sense of fun and sardonicism. The trick is to use it like a scalpel, not like a bludgeon.