Much has been made of the Goposaur "NoNo" lately (Please don't pull a NASA on Colbert on us and pick the 8th most popular name. NoNo is like an angry panda name) But why spend so much time promoting the GOP's cool-to-an-impressionable-8-year-old mascot? I'm not saying I'd prefer to be lumbering, ancient, stubborn, backwards-looking extinct beast than a jackass, but it's not far off. Is this the best we can do?
From the ultimate source on branding, wikipedia, we know that Asses are stubborn, or stupid. Worse, donkeys are known as "horny" or "virile", and well, let's not go there. Meanwhile, elephants are described as 'royal' and 'unforgetting'. Despite holding the donkey-reins of power, we shant be lulled into a branding complacency, and so I submit these potential mascots for your humble consideration:
The cat.
Our President is a cool cat, or a cute kitten, depending on the lighting.
Problem: Cats are also lazy. And called 'pooties'. Or are villainous.
So what's better than a normal cat? That's right, a bitey, chompy cat. A lion. Yes, love it. It shows democrats aren't afraid to take down the antelope of health care reform, or the gazelle of economic recovery.
The top of the food chain, our new Democratic Party mascot, assuming an Ostrich couldn't easily kill a lion (yes that's true). Plus a lion is kind of an obvious choice (though aren't Democrats the obvious choice?) Anyways, an ostrich looks sweet! Plus you can ride em!
Turns out, there's a problem with using an ostrich: It's not from America. You might say: "The elephant isn't from America either!" But then I say: "Shhhhhhh. Look a bear!"
Awesome, with awesome sauce. Still a tad on the boring side. Let's get creative like an idealist's policy proposals and suggest something that will never, ever happen that we all would really love to see happen: A unicorn riding an alien dragon!
Behold the Democraticornigon! Permanent Unicorn Dragon Majority here we come!