There's a rather young guy who lives down the street from me.
He has cerebral palsy and has been unable to walk since I have known him, which is about 8 years. He has to use a walker and a wheelchair for mobility. He didn't finish school and I have wondered at times is he is not "borderline intellectual functioning" based on conversations with him.
I just talked with him sometimes, back when I wasn't as busy as I am now. When I had time.He'd come tooling down the street in his cart and chat with me if I was out mowing. Basic stuff. I always made him laugh really hard.
Last year his mother was diagnosed with lung cancer - years of smoking harmless tobacco - and died rather quickly.
This young man totally lost it. He had a psychotic break, riding around the neighborhood in his go-cart/wagon thing with a head filled with voices.
That cleared up finally but I have been so busy I haven't been around and have had no time to chat.
Yesterday he came and asked me for help.
When his mother died last year I had gone down the street with my wife to 'pay our respects" to the family, with whom I never interact (though I did give a small metal outbuilding to his dad a could years ago).
I spoke with the family, with her husband who told me "I'm just lost without her". It was rather emotional for him, unsurprisingly.
As we talked they told me that "Danny", we'll call him, had taken it really hard and began describing his conduct to me. After a moment I realized "Oh, he had a psychotic break". I asked if I could see him and they were very pleased that I asked. They invited me into the house and Danny was in his room in the back.
They had taken him to some psychiatrist out in the boondocks who prescribed him a huge dose of haldol and sent him back home. He didn't know if he was coming or going. I made some suggestions to them about getting him to a better clinic, etc... and we left after a bit.
Since then he cleared up. I always drive past his house on my way to work and wave when he is outside.
He is usually outside, sitting in a swing with a walker nearby or sitting in his motorcart or driving around the neighborhood. He seems to like to go hang out by the road when the buses are letting kids off and sometimes he goes and drives around the cemetery. He's alone a lot.
In the past couple of weeks I noticed he has a swanky new scooter thing. I knew they were thinking of getting him one.
Then yesterday he came down to my house and rang the doorbell. "Crap" I thought to myself, I don't have time for this.
I went and chatted with him briefly, trying to keep it short.
And then he said "My daddy just died".
I was just stunned.
He JUST lost his mom. Now his dad is gone.
"He went to the hospital about 3 weeks ago and they found cancer in his pancreas. He died 2 weeks ago.
I came totally outside and shut the door and talked with him for awhile on the carport.
I expressed my sorrow to hear this and asked him how he was doing. I told him I remembered how his mother's death impacted him and now his dad is gone and I wondered.
He was really calm and collected, not upset and not psychotic. I asked how he was doing.
He said it was different with dad. It wasn't the same sort of abrupt surprise, he had known daddy was ill. He wasn't tearful or anything.
I re-expressed to him that it is just shocking and asked him, man to man, "doesn't this just make you want to grab your ass and ask WTF?" His eyes opened wide and he said "tell me about it".
Then I went into Professional mode: I asked who was taking care of him. I was told a niece had come to live with him for awhile and that she just had a baby and the baby just died as well.
I asked if father left him any money, if he has a payee set up and other people to look after him. I asked if he had SSI and he said he did and he was going to see if he qualified for more.
About that time a car came down the road, people were looking for him. We walked out to the street to let them know Danny was here and we continued the discussion.
Danny has an appointment to go visit Social Security. He already has SSI but doesn't get much. That will be increased and they may be applying for SSDI - disability income as he is fully disabled at this time. He also is going to apply for foodstamps.
The gentleman who came looking for him advised that Danny's dad didn't really have anything to leave Danny except the house and property and the house still has a mortgage. Danny told me "I have to come up with a payment next month".
"We came down to see you because we need help with his SSI stuff. Danny knows you work with this. It's over our heads. You're the only half-bright person on the block". I took this as a compliment....
We talked for awhile about the state of things for Danny and they talked about not being sure they will know how to fill out all the papers they will have to do soon. They were frustrated that they will have to do some bizarre dance to get Danny's requests for aid approved.
I told them that of course I would help and gave them some initial instructions, basically to go to their appointment and collect all the paper and stuff they are given and bring it back to me and we'll figure it all out."
I told them not to worry about it and we all shook hands and the guy "raced" Danny down the street - car vs swanky new scooter.
"Managing Not to Care": A little Rant
This is another healthcare issue, one that torques my ass to no end.
Danny has cerebral palsy and will never get any better and will only deteriorate. This will be exacerbated by the stress of having to care more for himself. I noticed when I saw him then, the first time in a year, really, his bones are more bent now. His handshake is different.
If he could get proper care this would not be nearly so bad, he would not have to deteriorate quite so fast and maybe not that bad at all.
He's just 36, so he's pretty young. There's lots of livin' left to do.
And there are hundreds of thousands or millions of stories similar to Danny and we have to fight tooth and nail to eke out a semblance of assistance for them?
Danny will be given a runaround at first. He will have to "prove" that he is disabled and not somehow faking his presence. If you can't tell Danny is pretty damned disabled by looking at him, you have cognitive issues. The purpose is to discourage applicants. To cause despair and apathy and attrition.
Then once he is accepted and granted whatever, he will have to periodically recertify, to make sure he didn't become less disabled. Recertification can be a real inconvenience, again causing frustration and despair.
There is a bitter resentment to simply funding the medical of "people like this": people with diabetes, schizophrenia, Developmental delays, all can qualify for certain public assistance programs,get "disability checks", and services they desperately need but they have to endlessly re-apply or get cut off.
What some call "death by spreadsheet" I call "Managing Not to Care". I have called it that since , literally, back in the day I saw it coming, as we all were sung the piper's tune about the virtues of "HMO's" and "Managed Care".
At this point fewer and fewer people in the country can afford regular health care, they put off dental care, limp along with home remedies,and this amplifies tendencies to neglect the fragile populations.
This is wholly unnecessary and only exists as a contrivance of evil people.