"I Want My Country Back!" you scream.
Too bad.
There are at least 10,000,000 reasons why you can't have it back. That's how many more people voted for Barack Obama than John McCain. That's how many people voted to take your country away from you.
Ten million is a lot of reasons. And you know what? There's actually more than that. If we lowball the estimate and say each of those 10,000,000 people had 1,000,000 reasons to take your country away from you, that's ten trillion reasons why you can't have your country back. Or roughly 10 reasons for every dollar spent on the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars. Or 10 reasons for every dollar we propose to spend on health care. Or 10 reasons for every dollar we spent bailing our economy out from eight years of your stewardship.
As for me personally, I came of age under Conservative governance, and having seen first hand what you do to your country, I can safely say it's in the best interest of your country to never let you have it back. In fact, I'm not sure why you want it back in the first place. You didn't act like you liked it when you did have it. Well, except for American flag pins on lapels. You did bring that to the table. If only John McCain had asked the electorate, "Are you wearing more American flag pins on lapels than you did 8 years ago?", maybe then you'd still have your country.
But he didn't. And now the country is mine. And if you really want your country back, you're going to have to make a more compelling argument than a misspelled racist placard held aloft at a town hall meeting in a district you don't live in.
I'll take that one step further, actually. Every outburst at a town hall is just one more reason to NOT give your country back to you. You think having a country is all fun and games, but it's more than that. It's a responsibility. And I won't give your country back to you until you prove to me that you can take care of it. You know. Feeding it. Cleaning it. Taking care of it when it's sick.
So in summary, no, I'm sorry, but you can't have your country back. You're just not ready for a country of your own. And 69,456,856 of my fellow Americans agree.
You were right about one thing, though. I am a Marxist. And in the words of my hero, "If you think this country's bad off now, just wait till I get through with it."