Many out there in Kos Kountry may be in the same shape I am. Just a few short years ago I was courted by every big bank in the country. Most every day I got elegant love letters begging me to take advantage of low interest credit cards, and flattering me with sweet nothings about how my excellent credit rating made their corporate dicks harder than the cement pond in Jed Clampetts’ backyard.
Like a big stupid carp in Clampett’s pond, I not only swallowed it hook, line and sinker, I patrolled the waters looking for competing bait-—ridiculously low rates, cash-back offers, and plastic that befit my superior financial status, with prestigious names like "Kryptonite Titanium Diamond Gold Card."
Then, almost as suddenly as I had been crowned the Kingfish of Credit, the boat was swamped and I got tossed into shark-infested waters. What hurt most was that my former suitors, safe in their bailed-out canoe, didn’t even bother to throw me a fucking life ring. But it was only when they started beating my head with the paddle and trying to drown me that I decided to fight back.
Starting a business takes money, lots of money. And when you run out of personal cash-in-bank type of money, and have second mortgaged your house, you might, as we did, turn to your good credit. All those low interest credit cards they used to send to us every month, well we made use of them. Paid for marketing (trade shows) and prototypes.
By the end of 2008, we had turned a corner business-wise, still not in fat city but we were making sales, turning a small profit. Most of which went into paying down those credit cards.
Then late in 2008, Chase, after taking billions of our taxpayer money, screwed me. And this wasn't one of those pleasant screwings, this one hurt real bad.
I didn't find out until later, but somehow all my credit cards (6) were set to paperless statements, all at the same time on the same day. Now anyone with a business knows, you need the paper copy for tax purposes, so no friggin' way I would have set these accounts to paperless statements. The only way to set all 6 accounts to paperless simultaneously is to have your (as in J P Morgan Chase) computer system do it.
Well, I missed a payment here and a payment there, because I (and my accountant) was used to getting a paper notification. Payments missed by one hour are as missed as if you skipped them altogether. Shortly thereafter, I start getting "Dear John" letters from Chase, one for each credit card, informing me that because of late payments, they were forced (FORCED, I TELL YOU) to reset my credit limits. Two of them were closed altogether (the two I had already paid off).
Remember, as has been related here before, if the card company closes your account, that's a VERY BAD THING to your friendly neighborhood credit rating rats. So that in turn fucked up my credit score, so they could then raise the interest rates, to the range of 26 to 29.99 percent. Ouch, more screwing, that one hurt real bad.
Now, to get to the sweet part. I wrote, not to the bank (they are criminals not to be reckoned with), but to the FDIC, the SEC and the U.S. Attorney General. Apparently, someone somewhere forwarded my letter to the "Comptroller of the Currency". About a week later, I got a call from a nice lady from Chase Bank who informed me that their system did not automatically set accounts to paperless, that I must have done so myself.
I told her I knew I had NOT set them to paperless, that I had proof their system had done it; I got a little hot. She said "wait, I'm calling to say we're refunding excess interest charges, resetting your interest rates to prior levels, and reinstating the two cards that had been canceled and would take care of the credit bureaus etc etc etc."
All I can say is WOW.
A few days later I got a letter from the "Comptroller of the Currency" who apparently looks into these things, saying if the bank didn't resolve it within 30 days to contact them.
You can damn sure bet their computer system fucked me, under the direction of some weaselly VP who got a fat bonus for his/her profit enhancement plan. These bastards are profit-motivated, and skirt every law they can. Only I think this time, they may have gone over the line. I am dead certain they did this on purpose. I am following up with the Comptroller of the Currency to see if an investigation of Chase's practices is in order.
And you can damn sure bet they don't want everyone writing to the feds about it. So my recommendation is, if anything like this sequence of events happened to you, write the Comptroller. Be explicit, get a little hot. Write them, fax them, call them.
Comptroller of the Currency
Customer Assistance Group
1301 McKinney Street
Suite 3450
Houston, TX 77010
Fax: 1-713-336-4301
Toll free: 1-800-613-6743
TDD Number: 713-658-0340
You may use this if you want. Good luck.