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Last week was a GREAT week in Late Late Show-land. Let's hope this week is half as good. Now...on to some cheesiness.
Wisconsin, the state that I live in, is synonymous with cheesemaking.
Actually, California has overtaken Wisconsin in tons of cheese made per year, but I suppose that Californians are too cool to ever be known as "cheeseheads". That's okay. In Wisconsin our motto is "all your cheese is belong to us", and we wear our foam rubber cheese hats proudly. We are certainly not too cool to have a laugh, even if it's on ourselves.
Man, there sure is a lot of cheese in this state. Mostly all of it is the typical eight or so varieties: American, Colby, Monterey jack, Swiss, Mozzarella, and, of course, the three kinds of cheddar: mild, medium, and sharp. No, you're not going to find any hand fed ewe's milk cheese, or goat's milk montrachet, or some such fancy schmancy cheeses. There are no precious little twee artisanal cheese farms anywhere, except maybe by Madison, but everyone knows that Madison people are "different". What you do find, if you drive the countryside, is a lot of little family cheese factories. There's probably one within a 20 mile or so radius of anywhere you happen to find yourself, and all of them have a little cheese stand where you can stop and get yourself some "fresh" cheese.
You don't even have to go that far to get cheeses from these little mom-and-pop factories. The supermarket dairy shelves are LINED with cheeses from these places. In most other states I've been to, the supermarkets usually have a rather meager display of Kraft cheeses. In Wisconsin you get an entire aisle of cheeses to select from. (Kraft cheeses are also available, but Wisconsinites consider it bad form to buy any cheese with the Kraft label on it.) Of course, they're all the same eight or so varieties, and as far as I can tell, nothing very much distinguishes these locally made cheeses from each other, but the sheer quantity is stupefying.
Wisconsinites embrace their cheesiness. We put cheese into all of our meals. A meal's not a meal without cheese on something, whether on our fried potatoes at breakfast, our tuna salad sandwiches at lunch, or crusted on top of our dinner casseroles.
Last Friday on the Late Late Show, my favorite Louisiana crocodile made an appearance. Oooooh, he's a proper lizard, ain't he?
Here's the monologue: