When I volunteered to do this diary, I noted that I would likely repeat a lot of what I said the last time I wrote for B and S. That diary was titled "What am I doing here?". But I've been thinking. And I've shortened the title to "what am I?".
I think I am finding my religion - but what should it be called?
UPDATE I fixed the title; also, at 8:15 Eastern I have to give my son a bath, so I'll be out for a bit, and then at 9 I have to tell him a story.
For this diary I mean "What am I?" religiously. This is, after all, Brothers and Sisters. When people ask what religion I am, I have no fully satisfactory answer. I may say "none" or "atheist" or "agnostic". But none of those are really religions. So I've been thinking.
I can't say I am a secular humanist - humanity offers too much wrong; and that isn't really a religion either.
But I read some quotes. And I'd like to use them as a guide.
The first few are from Carl Sagan:
We are made of star stuff
Think of that! 14 billion years ago, everything in the universe was condensed into an unbelievably hot, unbelievably dense dot. It bigbanged (some people say "exploded" but I like using a unique word for a unique event). Eventually, stars formed. A star is a roiling, super-hot nuclear reactor spewing out atoms. We are made of that. Star stuff. Through that star stuff, planets are formed, life evolves, and evolves, and changes, and goes through millions of generations over billions of years to ... us. Humans. But we are made of star-stuff. Does that not fill you with a sense of wonder? How miraculous! To me, that is far more wondrous than any creation story - such as Genesis - that involves, at bottom, somewhere, someone saying "then a miracle occurs". We're made of star stuff.
The next is also from Sagan
There are more galaxies than people
Wow. Not just more stars, but more galaxies! And each galaxy may have billions of stars. And each star may have many planets. And there we are. On a single planet of a not very special star in a not very special part of a not very special galaxy.
That will put us in our true place!
The third is once again Sagan
For small creatures such as we, the vastness is made bearable only through love
In the Woody Allen movie Play it Again Sam, Woody (as Allan Felix) is at the Museum of Modern Art, and he notices a woman looking at a painting.
Allan: It's a lovely Jackson Pollock.
Woman at Museum: Yes, it is.
Allan: What does it say to you?
Woman at Museum: It restates the negativeness of the universe. The hideous, lonely emptiness of existence. Nothingness. The predicament of man forced to live in a barren, godless eternity like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror and degradation forming a useless straitjacket in a black absurd cosmos.
Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Woman at Museum: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night?
The vastness is made bearable by love.
So, when people ask what religion I am, should I say "Saganist"? I doubt he would want that.
Now, let's move from Sagan to Einstein. He said
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is.
and
The most incomprehensible thing about the universe is that it is comprehensible at all
Put these together and I find that the comprehensibility of the universe forces me to think of everything as a miracle. Two functions of religion are to explain the universe and to inspire awe. For me, science does both of these things; but so does the study of the humanities, history, and so on.
pi/4 = 1 - 1/3 + 1/5 - 1/7 + 1/9 .....
is a miracle. Why is the shape of a circle related to a series of fractions?
Our brains are miracles.
Babies are miracles.
"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day" is a miracle too.
Music. Music is a miracle.
But so are bugs, and horses and trees .... mountains, oceans ... When you think about the vastness of space, the ocean of time, and the comprehensibility of the universe, it's all a miracle.
So, what am I?
I still don't know what to call it, but writing this helped me think about it.
-----
Let me finish with some more traditional Brothers and Sisters material:
Hope: This video was written by a 20 year old:
and a prayer:
May all who wish for peace have their wish granted; may all who do not wish for peace have their hearts changed. Because, after all, we are all alone together on a pale blue dot