I just got off the phone with my brother. He was checking on my flight arrangements home (my Mother's in CA). All was well until he said: "Did you hear about Colleen's brain tumors?" I lost my breath because that is my sister's name. He was talking about my cousin and I felt guilty for the relief.
Two brain tumors -- she is only 54. The doctor told her to enjoy the holidays because they would be her last. What? Enjoy? With a death sentence?
Colleen is one of those Americans who is lost because she can't work, her husband just left her and she has been uninsured for god knows how long.
Would universal health care have prevented this outcome? I don't know. What I do know is that she is alone in some apartment and can't afford treatment for pain -- treatment to ease her through to the end. Yes, we have an extended family, but none of us are magicians. We can't make the next weeks or months less agonizing.
Eight years ago on September 3rd my sister died of cancer that had rapidly metastisized from kidney cancer. She had no insurance at the time of the original diagnosis. Her fiance moved up the wedding in order to cover her under his government policy. He then retired from the Navy prior to being elevated to Admiral to care for her as her life was sucked out by tumors that appeared daily. Why is that? Why is it in this country that people have to waste away because they do not have the resources beyond shelter and food?
Honestly, I don't have the wherewithal to petition our Congress or our President to ram through what Americans deserve -- health care -- basic, decent health care. I am tired of writing unanswered emails and faxes. Tired of getting boilerplate responses on the phone. I'm tired of worrying that I'll be next to be relegated to the ashbin either because I am physically or mentally ill.
Colleen is a person. She is a loving and decent person. And I say to those who don't care about her or the millions like her: "Sleep restlessly. See those suffering and dying in your dreams. Fear their faces around every corner. I hope they haunt you. I honestly hope they haunt you."
I know the dying don't haunt those who care for nothing other than themselves or their immediate families, but, they haunt me and I'm not responsible for choosing life or death; pain or suffering.
UPDATE: I guess there is a different definition of public option. I just got off the phone with my Aunt. Colleen opted to go peacefully into that good night. I guess she could afford enough pills. Peace and blessings for my dear Colleen. Peace and blessings for her brothers and sister. Peace and blessings for her friends. I ask peace and blessings for me because this makes me incredibly sad.
Thanks for all of your comments dear friends.