Folks, we got moles. Lots of em.
Friends, many of you, like me, hoped that things will change. We thought that we could pack up our tinfoil, put the fillings back in our teeth and stop yelling at those black helicopters impressively disguised as white puffy clouds. However it has been brought to my attention by TOP MEN that we are in fact infiltrated by moles, shills and just plain old-fashioned muckrackers.
Now I have had my suspicions. I still remember the first time I thought "something aint right here". It was when I, on accident, moved my mouse pointer over a commenters name. It looked funny, something I had not seen in all my many many many years of posting on this glorius blog. A number above mine! Things began happening fast, my mind a blur as I frantically tried to come to grips with the fact that somebody joined this site after I did. All the 10 signs of grief were there, with one extra: suspicion. I dont take kindly to furriners, and this whipper snapper running around reccing comments like he/she owned the place? NO WAY! I built this place and Id be damned if someone was gonna come around and change things. Plus who knows where this person even came from! So I started wonderin: if someone joins after I did, and I am the center of the universe here and in real life, then can I really trust this person? Without even thinking I answered HELL NO! No time for thoughts, action was what was needed. So I started making a list with the only writing instrument I had, lipstick. I went with the first commenter I came across who had a higher number than mine, the glorius number that GOD gave to me, UID #141361.
Now many moons have passed since I started that list, and honestly that list has been used for other things-mainly the cleaning of my posterior. BUT I NEVER FORGOT! And now, seeing as how Obama=Hitler x Bush, my eyes have opened to a whole new idea:what if those who either a) disagree with me and/or b) have a high uid # are paid to post here! Once again my brain went into overdrive, spittle and foam flying from the corners of my mouth as I acted quickly to leap off the toilet and back to the computer so I could write a dairy and warn everyone of the impending doom. To my amazement, a like-minded friend and true patriot who can be trusted has already done that. I will have to say, though, that starting at an arbitray number like 150,000 is kinda ridiculous. That number is too high, the dog barking outside my window told me that no one with a number higher than 141361 is to be trusted. So that means that there are 8,639 potential moles that are not accounted for. This scares the crap outa me, literally, so I only have a few moments left to post. But friends, we must stand strong against these moles and shills and whatever else they are.
I thank you for listening.