The date rape dance...I'm sorry "bipartisanship"... was quaint, but it's over. I'm starting off the year on a new foot. I'm putting my foot down and following Cheney's lead.
Behold! A new Foxtrot for a new age. Amaze your friends. Silence the opposition. Savor the sweet taste of their salty tears as the obstructionists melt away faster than Rush Limbaugh's integrity, Joe the Plumber's authority, Sarah Palin's sincerity, or Glenn Beck's stability.
Just master three simple words, and voila!
Here are the three all-purpose words you need to deal with the obstructionists and their enablers as we enter a new decade:
Golf Foxtrot Yankee
For those in the know, that is the phonetic alphabet for communicating the letters GFY. It's similar to "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot" which stands for WTF. We all know what WTF stands for. That expression of shock, incredulity, and disdain are all mixed together in a lovely little abbreviation that communicates the point in a famly friendly way so dainty conservatives don't get the vapors.
Of course, rules are made to be broken and no one does that better than Dick Cheney. As reported in the Washington Post, Senator Leahy had the gall to ask Cheney about his ties to Halliburton and the implied war profiteering. Serving in his role as President of the Senate, Cheney turned on the senator and told him to "Go Fuck Yourself" in front of several people standing near them on the floor of the US Senate. As any decent republican will tell you, there was nothing rude about that manly response. It was direct, to the point and a model of verbal economy. More importantly, it had the desired effect of stopping that nonsensical notion that going to war on false pretenses deserved second-guessing or even merited a second look.
Nothing succeeds like excess and Cheney's magic phrase is a prime example. Now that we know senatorial holds can be put to a cloture vote, it is time to dust off this phrase and use it at every opportunity. The new Foxtrot allows us to slap the opposition with a heady mixture of scorn, impatience, and relentlessness while sparing the sensitive ears of their apologists. Here are some examples. Feel free to add your own.
Can't think of how to respond to Republicans intent on getting in the way of health care reforms? Don't burn the midnight oil composing well-researched position papers showing the vast majority of voters support these reforms. Just dash off a quick twitter:
Golf Foxtrot Yankee.
Stymied by Lieberman's latest backstabbing? Don't waste time writing letters to the editor. Just call him up and share the proper sentiments:
Golf Foxtrot Yankee.
Can't think of an appropriate response to Pat Buchanan's nonsensical whining about Miranda rights and interrogations? Don't waste your breathe pointing out they have already worked. Simply repeat after me:
Golf Foxtrot Yankee.
Can't find the words to express your contempt for Chertoff cashing in on the latest attacks by pimping his client's products? Don't fret. Stop sputtering. Lit him have it with both barrels right between the eyes with three simple words:
Golf Foxtrot Yankee.
Stunned to silence by Ensign's smiling declaration that he "did nothing wrong" even though he admits he was banging someone else's wife? Relax. Here's the money shot:
Golf Foxtrot Yankee.
Stunned by Rahm Emanuel's profanity-laced tirade against the people who put his boss in power? You can respond appropriately without sinking to his level:
Golf Foxtrot Yankee.
I could go on, but you get the point. Feel free to use this early and often during the coming year. Share with your friends. The more the merrier.