A new exciting program is being readied for you by your Federal government!
Last year, the Cash for Clunkers program provided exceptional return on investment. We've spent tens of trillions of dollars on Wall St banks only to see excessive bonuses for the people who crashed the world's economy, but spending just $3 billion on Cash for Clunkers provided a over half of the GDP increase from the stimulus.
Well, with such excellent return on investment, and in accordance with the recent SCOTUS ruling, the Federal government will be announcing the Cash for Republican Clunkers program!
This program will allow us, the real and imaginary corporate people of the United States to purchase our own brand, spanking new Senator or House member, and get rid of some real clunkers!
These Republican Clunkers have to go now! These are all dangerously out of date, unsafe at any speed, and polluting! Heck, all of them actually have recently, due to their own action, or lack there of, been classified as the party of NO, or Not Operational.
It's just a crying shame that these perfectly useful Senate and House positions which can be used to help run the country, and ensure the life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness of the American people, both real and imaginary, have been abandon, overrun by weeds, and are in such general disrepair that these are now lowering the property values of all of Congress!
So examine your budget, and come prepared to help us get rid of these Republican Clunkers! Contact your preferred Democratic organization and learn how you can donate and participate in buying a couple of Senators and House members you can call your very own!