I want to thank this community for being there for me and my nephew last night. I cannot believe the diary is still on the rec list. I imagined it would be overlooked like so many other diaries, but I was wrong. I wanted to update everyone on my nephew.
He arrived safely at my home last night just after midnight. As soon as I opened the door, he rushed into my arms and began to sob. I just held him there and let him cry. My husband came and told him he was there for him if he needed to talk. My nephew told me the full story of what happened to him, and it breaks my heart that the world can be so cruel.
Follow me below the fold for more.
After several weeks of talking to "Jacob" online, my nephew thought he had finally met someone who understood him. He had no indication that "Jacob" was actually a prankster from his class. After being in this online relationship for several months "Jacob" pressed him for explicit pictures. My nephew was hesitant, but didn't want to lose the person he considered to be his first boyfriend. "Jacob" reminded him that in just a few short weeks the two would meet during Spring Break and they'd officially be a couple. So he snapped a few pictures, including ones with his face. (I had my husband talk to him about this because we all know that pictures are forever and could haunt him for a long time to come.) Anyway, then there was yesteday.
He walks into school and a few of the guys on his team start to snicker and laugh at him. One proceeds to call him a faggot. He had never been called a name like that before. Most people considered him to be a jock and a ladies man at the school. He's very handsome and has dated his share of girls in high school. He was concerned, but didn't think much of it. After class, a group of them stood in the hall hovering around one of the boy's iPhones. On that phone was an explicit picture of him. Face included. My nephew was horrified. He thought he must have accidentally sent the picture to one of his friends instead of to "Jacob".
Another student saw what was happening and went and told a teacher. Half an hour later the boy who was "Jacob" was called to the principal's office. He was asked to print out the email exchanges between the two of them, and to bring along the pictures my nephew had sent to him.
A little later the principal called my nephew into his office and immediately confronted him with the pictures. My nephew had no way of denying it was him in the photos. He couldn't deny the emails either. After he admitted to the principal that he was gay, he was told to clean out his locker and not come back. The principal told him that he was calling his parents to inform them of the situation.
When he got home his mother (my sister) and father were waiting inside for him. My sister wept as he came into the house and asked him "what did I do wrong?" Her husband told him that "he wasn't raised to be queer" and that he needed to be cured of his sin. They had already notified their church's pastor and youth pastor. The church told them to send him there for a conference immediately after he got home.
My nephew got into the car and decided he didn't need to be cured of anything. Instead, he decided he was headed to my house in Florida. He knew here that he would find love, compassion, and understanding. He knew if he went to the church he'd be ridiculed and told that he was defective and needed to be "cured". He told me a story of how a boy in his youth group committed suicide a few years ago and in his suicide note he admitted he was gay. He had been convinced that he didn't deserve to live since he couldn't be cured of homosexuality. (I know that sounds crazy, but some people actually think like that.) My nephew didn't want to be like that.
He arrived at my house and after having a good cry we talked for a while. He's hurt, scared and alone. He's lost all of his friends at the school. On his Facebook page are messages like "I'm praying for you to get help" and "I never thought you'd be a faggot". One person had even cut out a picture of his face and put it on Lady GaGa's body and posted it on his wall.
I asked him what happened to the boy that posed as "Jacob". After all, he had started the whole thing. He said he didn't think anything had happened to him because he was allowed back into class after speaking to the principal. Well, I got on the phone and called the school to ask them why the other student wasn't also expelled. Their answer was that he had done nothing wrong. He had posed as someone who he was not and begged for nude pictures of my nephew. (I suppose this boy could be struggling with his own sexuality.) Not only did he share those pictures with classmates, but he openly had them ridicule him in front of other students. Apparently that isn't wrong, but being gay is. I just can't believe it.
My sister called today to tell him that he needed to remove his belongings from her house and return the car that is titled in their name by this weekend. I told him I would personally drive up there and pack up his belongings and rent a U-haul van if I had to. He does not want to face them right now. I can't blame him.
I called a local school and I believe that they will let him attend and graduate pending his transcript from the other school. He's got really great SAT scores and I believe he has a bright future ahead of him.
This afternoon he asked me if he could stay with me until he went away to college. I told him he could. I can't be his mother, but I can be his friend. We talked for a while and he has felt guilty for years due to his sexuality. He went to great lengths to hide it. One day I know some lucky young man will come along and scoop him up. I told him to embrace life and accept himself for who he is. Don't let others tell you that you are defective or need to be cured. You are fine just the way you are.
He's a good kid. Thanks for reading my ramblings.
UPDATE
I'm sorry for not being clear in my diary. "Jacob" and my nephew are both 18 years old. The school is a private school in North Carolina. Those two things were left out and are confusing to many in the comments.
Also, my nephew is here with me reading some of the comments. He told me to tell you all that he has never felt so accepted in his life. He asks if there is a way he can reach out to young Kossacks who are gay for advice.
UPDATE 2
It's difficult for me to keep up with all the comments, but my nephew has asked that those of you who are younger and been through a similar experience can email him. I hesitate to do this, but I trust those of you here at Daily Kos. His email address is mattluvsnctarheels at yahoo dot com Please be respectful. I'm only posting that at his request.
UPDATE 3
Thank you all for the comments. I stepped away for a few minutes and some pointed out that it could be bad to have his email address posted here. He has agreed to let me sit with him when he checks this email address, at least until he sees its a good person. So far he has only had 3 emails and all were positive so I hope that continues. I'm going to give him his space now and I know he will continue to read the comments to diary. You are a wonderful community and I know you have lifted his spirits.