Welcome to this week's Quote the Ravin', which deals with masturbation, prestidigitation, indignation, a divided nation, indigestion, immigration, and Sarah Palin. God, I need a vacation. And after 15 weeks of unemployment, a vocation. Let's start some vocalization.
What a dream ticket! Mike Pence and Sarah Palin! That would give liberals heartburn.
—Family Research Council President Tony Perkins. So would the ticket of Snooki and Carrot Top.
Get away from my french fries, Mrs. Obama. First politician that comes up to me with a carrot stick, I've got a place for it. And it's not in my tummy.
—The overdramatic Glenn Beck. His heart's already diseased, there's no turning back.
I'm not completely compatible with the Tea Party. I'm not involved with witchcraft.
—President Jimmy Carter on The Daily Show, on his outsider run for president.
Christine O’Donnell is a bit of a flake I think… or has been in the past.
—The Weekly Standard's Bill Kristol. Isn't that the Fruit Loop calling the Frosted Flake absolutely delicious?
We know a lot about Mike Castle's background, and he was never a witch.
—Conservative Jonathon Krohn. Yeah but everyone knows Delaware has a Bitches Brew.
Voters are mad as hell, they're scared, and they do not like the direction in which this country is going.
—Delaware GOP chairman Tom Ross on This Week on whether Christine O'Donnell's admission she dabbled in witchcraft mattered. We all know what an impact Samantha Stephens had on her local economy.
If you need money to pay the rent and eat, you get a job; you don't start a Senate campaign so unsuspecting donors can support you.
—CREW Executive Director Melanie Sloan, on O'Donnell's campaign finance troubles.
Who in their youth wasn't a little you know, Beelzeb-curious?
—Stephen Colbert, mocking Michelle Malkin (say that three times fast) for expaining away O'Donnell's strange remark.
She’s going to have to learn very quickly to dismiss what some of her handlers want. Remember what happened to me in the VP? Remember I used to have to sneak in my phone calls to you?
—Sarah Palin to Bill O'Reilly. Oh God, please no more loofah stories.
This website exists because I devoutly believe that there exists a huge national audience of people who believe in limited government, free markets, technological progress, and a strong American role in the world – but who do not want to be represented and championed by paranoid idiots.
—David Frum. When is this? Maybe 2012?
Perhaps it's time they met one Republican woman who won't quit on Alaska.
—Senator Lisa Murkowski (R, AK) on her write-in campaign. Zing.
The new blacks that are coming on board, those who are academic, scholars, they know who they are.
—Lee James, who led a Tea Party rally in heavily democratic (and African American) Toulminville, Alabama. Academics? Scholars? Does he mean IVORY TOWER ELITISTS??
I want my government limited but in no way would I like its managers to be average at all.
—Blogger Napolean Linardatos, on Frum Forum about the Tea Party.
Finally, a reader mentioned a bumper sticker I found charming — it was seen in Louisiana during a gubernatorial race. It supported Edwin Edwards, the famous rogue, against David Duke, the famous, or infamous, Klansman. The sticker said, “Vote for the Lizard, Not the Wizard.”
—Jay Nordlinger on National Review's The Corner. I remember which one was the Democrat.
No, the opposite of bias is acceptance, and Breitbart can't afford to go there. Not only would it be bad for a brand like his that feeds on intolerance and fear-based narratives, it would mean that Andrew Breitbart would have to accept himself, and in doing so would have let go of the illusion that sustains him -- that he's taking on mainstream media in order to destroy it—and confront the truth—that he's taking on mainstream media in order to become it.
—Writer Mike Bonifer.
In football, we care about the facts,. Think about it. Listen to all these guys talking about the facts in football. It's ridiculous. But with something like economics and politics, we live in a fact-free world.
—President Bill Clinton. Now he tells us.
So I'm telling you and I'm telling all of my citizens around the country is that immigration is what's keeping this country's lifeblood moving forward. They enrich our culture with every generation. And we have to find a way to protect our borders but, at the same time, treat our immigrant population with respect and dignity and give them a path to citizenship.
—General Colin Powell on Meet the Press.