"I was all ears," Professor Plum said, when asked if he listened to Stephen Colbert's testimony to Congress.
"Now that was corny," Ms. Scarlet replied.
"Aww, shucks," he said. "Don't sweat it."
The staff pretended to laugh, albeit less heartily than some conservatives pretended to be outraged.
More below the fold....
Their almost comedy mocked the solemnity of the staff poker game. Fortunately they excused themselves and left to join the other resident faculty in the wine cellar library, to spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum ("More wine, more truth"). That let the Professor of Astrology Janitor return to the serious business of trying to make two pair into a full house, when everyone could see that Chef had already made a flush. He missed, and then began the plaintive mewling that sent Chef to the kitchen to make Southwestern Corn Fritatas. That left your lowly mail room clerk to review the week's correspondence....
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Dear Ms. Crissie,
I don't know why you liberals love Stephen Colbert. He's no expert on farm policy. He had one agenda: to mock Americans who care about illegal immigrants taking our jobs. His entire testimony was a myth, as Census Bureau findings show that a majority of the jobs people think are done by immigrants are more often done by native-born Americans. Fortunately Steve King brought some reality to the hearing. After that, I couldn't watch any more of the fiasco.
Michelle in CO
Dear Michelle,
We note that Stephen Colbert never claimed to be an expert on farm policy, though he has likely spent more time with farm workers than you. We also concede he mocked Americans like you who froth over immigration. And justly so. You cite Census Bureau findings, but ignore the fact that the same study found a majority of migrant farm workers - the job about which Colbert testified - are immigrants. Citing other jobs as proof that farm workers are mostly native-born Americans, when the very study you cite shows the opposite, is not "piercing a myth." It's lying, and it makes you worthy of mockery.
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Dear Ms. Crissie,
Don't talk about lying. I watched the Colbert videos. Unless they ran the film backward, he was not packing corn for shipment. He was taking corn out of a crate. And if it was so hot, why didn't I see him sweat? His appearance was an insult to the intelligence of the American people.
Steve in IA
Dear Steve,
We're pleased to see that you've graduated from the Bill Frist College of Forensic Video Analysis. Yes, Colbert was taking corn out of a crate ... one being packed by another worker, so Colbert could put the properly-sized corn in the crate he was packing. It was quite obviously a joke, as any intelligent American recognized. Your lying about it is, however, an insult to the intelligence of the American people.
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@Ms.Crissie,
Colbert's testimony made a mockery of Congress, just like his show does every night. Don't think that helps.
Aaron in D.C.
Dear Aaron,
We agree that Colbert and his colleague Jon Stewart routinely mock Congress, and for good reason. You may revere elected officials in order to maintain your insider access, but most Americans view a Congress stymied by The Party of No Others with the same derision Colbert and Stewart present. Should you escape the bubble of self-interest enclosed by the Beltway, you might understand why Jon Stewart - not any network anchor - is the most trusted newscaster in America.
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Dear Ms. Crissie,
Your reply to Aaron is too long for Twitter. Is the Southwestern Corn Fritata recipe short enough to tweet?
Hungry in 140 Characters in Blogistan
Dear Hungry in 140 Characters,
We're sorry to say the recipe is too long for Twitter. To make the topping for Southwestern Corn Fritatas, first sweat 2 cloves of minced garlic and 1 medium diced onion in olive oil over medium-high heat for two minutes. Then add the kernels from two ears of corn and cook for 10-15 minutes, until softened and lightly browned. Add ½ cup each of red and yellow peppers, finely diced, and cook for 5 minutes until the peppers begin to soften. Next add the juice of one lime, ½ cup of dark beer, 1 seeded and minced chipolte pepper, and a pinch each of salt, black pepper, cayenne pepper, and cumin, and cook until most of the liquid evaporates. Reduce heat to low and stir in ¼ cup of yogurt cheese until blended.
To finish the fritata, whip two eggs until frothy, then pour into a skillet over medium heat and cook for about two minutes. Spread the corn topping evenly over the eggs, then place in a 425°F oven for about 10 minutes. Once the fritata begins to puff, sprinkle with chopped fresh cilantro and Monterey Jack cheese, then bake for another 3-4 minutes. Serve with gratitude for those who picked the vegetables. Bon appétit!
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Sources:
Michelle in CO; findings of study.
Steve in IA.
Aaron in D.C.; Stewart most trusted newscaster.
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Happy Sunday!
Crossposted from Blogistan Polytechnic Institute (BPICampus.com)