OK, I am not an eloquent diarist...nor do I have any nifty clips from news sources to cite or profound analysis of anything. This diary is about me, and the many other Americans like me. You know us, we are your sons, daughters, neighbors and friends.
I am one of those unemployed slackers the Republicans love to talk about. You know, the ones they claim who would rather sit on their butts and collect unemployment rather than work. I am one of the long-term unemployed. I also am older and female. I live in California, we have 12.4% unemployment. I am told that statistically there is 1 job offering for every 6 unemployed people. This is all jobs and the entire country. In some areas the ratio is worse and many of them here I am either unqualified for or over-qualified for. This does not even take into account that some of them would not pay me a living wage or offer medical coverage. Gotta love those companies that keep you just at or below 30 hours so they don't have to offer them.
More below the fold...
So I am sitting here reading about how Harry Reid maybe is growing a little bit of spine for the repealing of DADT and passing DREAM. That's wonderful, I support those. No mention of the unemployment benefits extension due to expire soon, frown. Nancy Pelosi retained her leadership position, yay! The republicans are falling all over themselves to announce how they will "fix" what the democrats broke. They act like they have already taken over the house. /me whispers...I don't think they got the memo about them not being sworn in until January. Some newly elected congressman is whining about his government sponsored health care benefits not kicking in for 30 days after he is sworn in. And so it goes on and on....
So how did it come to this? I have worked hard all my life. My first job was at 16. Beginning at age 18, I have nearly always worked full time. I've had some pretty menial jobs and have worked for minimum wage. I've raised a family, my children are productive members of society. I follow all the rules. I am an honest person of high integrity who always takes responsibility for my actions. I don't have a sense of entitlement. Everything I have, I have earned and didn't hurt anyone else in the process.
Since being laid off I have applied for jobs that are in my field. I never planned on being unemployed longer than 26 weeks. So that point passed, thank God for extended benefits. COBRA is killing me but it is harder to get insurance if there has been a gap in your coverage and well, what if something happens? I start lowering my expectations of getting a job as good as the one I had, which btw was not stellar. I get some phone interviews, even some face to face ones. But lets face it, people with masters degrees are competing against me.
Since unemployment doesn't nearly cover all my living expenses I have been supplementing with my savings. I know many people out there are worse off than I am but since I don't possess the "schadenfreude gene", knowing that doesn't comfort me. I would prefer no one suffers.
It is hard to muster the confidence and energy that is required to look for a job. I have lowered my expectations with each benefit extension expiration. I am now on my last one. When that one expires, I am wondering... what do I do now?
It's hard not to take this all personally, like what is wrong with me? Or what did I do to piss off the universe? What karma am I repaying? What lesson am I supposed to be learning? What do I do now?
I'm not looking for pity, or sympathy. I am looking for empathy and compassion. So when I visit you or you see me in the supermarket, don't say stuff like, so-and-so just got a job at some company, you should apply there. Or why can't you find a job? Or, what do you do with all your time?
I know you mean well but I do actively look for work every day. So-and-so has different skills than I do, or maybe they have a college degree. The company that just hired them may be in hiring mode but I likely do not fit any of their requirements on top of the fact that out of the hundreds of applications they probably get, only 1 person will be hired. I can't find a job because, hello, 12.4% unemployment. What I do with my time is look for a job and apply for any and everything I may be qualified to do. It takes over 30 minutes to fill out some of these online applications, like for the "big box" stores. I mean good lord, the lesser paying positions tend to take the greatest amount of time to apply for. I am thoughtful and thorough with my cover letters so they also take time to compose. Oh and don't politicize this by saying that this is what I get for voting for Obama. Things were bad before he was ever sworn into office. People expected him to fix the last decade of mismanagement and greed in under 2 years. He is not a miracle worker and it is amazing he got as much done as he did, though we all agree it wasn't enough.
It can be very disheartening to spend more time applying for a job than the time it takes for them to reject you. My record is 15 minutes. I sent my resume and within 15 minutes got a rejection, probably due to my age. I also have experienced gender discrimination though proving it is nearly impossible. My real name is often mistaken as male. I had one phone interview that, once they realized I was a female, they asked me 2 questions then ended the interview with "we will get back to you", they never did. That was my shortest phone interview.
So if you made it this far, you are likely relating to my plight. I honestly don't know what I am going to do. I doubt things will change much now that the Republicans plan on spending the next two years making sure President Obama fails. What they don't seem to care about is that the country will also fail. It amazes me that some of them ever got elected. It seems we here can see how destructive their agenda is but the average American voted them back into power, at least in the House. I will never understand the psychology of voting against your own interests, or of the sheer hate people feel these days. I weep for myself, and also for our country. I just needed to get this all out and vent.. It's hard to be hopeful these days...