Today's news that the White House has given in on the Bush Tax Cuts means I am joining the republican party. Why not? It seems this decision by Obama means because the values and principles that I believed the Democratic Party stand for are non-existent. So why not become a republican?
As the saying goes, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em--so I am. With this decision, I will:
> end my year long unemployment because apparently only Democrats are unemployed. I really need a job.
> the new business my husband has started (after 3 years of unemployment--thanks Carly Fiorina) will soon be sold to Facebook/Google/Bloomberg for 46.9 Gazillion dollars because that is what happens to republicans. That fact that we have only 1 client so far doesn't matter--we are republicans now and we know business and how to make money.
> develop crushes on John Boehner, Michael Steele and Eric Cantor because, as Michelle Bachman says, "they the men".
> I will sleep better at night knowing that John McCain is looking out for the civil rights of "all Americans" not just teh gays.
> learn palinglish, which is the new English as coined by Sarah Palin. Grammar is for Democrats.
>know that the hungry who used to rely on food banks will have full cupboards and refrigerators because no one is hungry in the republican America.
>get brunch at my favorite bistro on Sunday morning because after I have been to Church, God will reward me with great pancakes. God loves republicans.
> know that I am safe as America has all the nuclear warheads it needs to bomb Afghanistan, Russia, China, Iran, Iraq, Brazil, France, Kenya, Sweden or any other place who pisses us off.
> have all the health care I can ever need and only Dr. Oz and the Mayo Clinic will care for me because in the republican America everyone has the best health care EVER.
> be able to visit the polar bears roaming free in New Hampshire instead of traveling all the way to the glaciers in the Artic, cause the glaciers are gone. I can breath clean air and gas will be 79 cents a gallon, because that is life when you are a republican.
> have all the news I ever need to know and it will come to me from the Wall Street Journal, the NY Post and Fox News because Rupert knows best what I should know.
These are just some of the benefits I see in being a republican. Right now all the Democrats do is break my heart and disappoint me. Surely, you have good reasons for joining the republicans, I mean what have the Democrats done for you lately?