URP Senior editors at a number of national newspapers today are staggered by Republican revelations of corruption at the highest levels of the Obama Administration. "I am absolutely floored by this news!" wailed Fred Hiatt, editor of the Washington Post. "This totally came out of left field and no one could see it coming. And they appeared to be such nice people. In the interests of the American people, of course, we will be maintaining a lead position on coverage of this issue throughout the Obamas’ remaining time in office."
Andrew Rosenthal, editorial page editor of the New York Times is also troubled by the lack of transparency in the workings of the Obama administration. "Given the success of the Obamas in getting their revolutionary agenda enacted in Congress, I am not surprised by these latest revelations that it will be found out that they were underhanded in their dealing with legislative members."
It is expected that newspapers across the country will unquestioningly join the bandwagon calling for the investigation and impeachment of the First Family from office based on these new-found allegations. "These brave Republicans have yet again demonstrated their unwavering patriotism in protecting the American people from corruption and evil at the highest levels of government. God bless them." said Rosenthal. "Collaborating with the Republicans to find additional proof of Obama culpability will work to everyone’s advantage in the coming months and years. The plan for our investigative journalists is to focus on these new, and future, criminal behaviors by the government."
Republicans have been chomping at the bit since the Obamas’ election to get back into power to protect America from these newly uncovered travesties. "I, for one, am shocked that Obama has behaved in such a monstrous manner," said Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Calif.), incoming chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee. "I have been arguing for a while now that investigations into government corruption ought to be stepped up but these new allegations regarding the involvement of the Obamas...it’s just so sad. I mean, look at this list of crimes! Who will care for their two beautiful daughters?"