This past Friday was the 100th Day of School, a day celebrated in classrooms nationwide.
Schools will be continuing to celebrate the 100th Day of School in various forms through this week across the country. In the background of these celebrations is the silent reminder that 100 days of school is also 100 days of bullying for some students and educators.
One parent who knows first hand what bullying and harassment in school can do to a child and family is Cheryl Williams.
Cheryl, a proud mother of two has been fighting against intolerance and discrimination for many years. She is a fierce advocate for equality and is known as "equality mom" to many in the community. Her strength, courage, kindness and support as an ally is inspiring. She also happens to be the mother of Kip Williams, GetEQUAL Co-Founder.
Cheryl sent me her story to share and speakOUT for the "100th Day of School 100 Days of Bullying" with the Safe Schools Action Network Make It Better Project and Teaching Tolerance.
This is her story in her own words below:
From A Mothers Heart
I’m the proud mom of two wonderful children, Lori and Kip. They’re adults now, each working to change the world in their own unique way. They were both bullied in school and barraged by name-calling, cruelty, and even acts of physical violence. This short story can scarcely tell of how they struggled, excelled, and rose above the grief, and it doesn’t even begin to convey the seemingly endless day to day torture and fear that they faced. The memory of the rivers of tears and the unbearable weight of heartache that my children endured during their school years can still drop me to my knees. They were always taught to stand up, speak out, and defend those who couldn’t defend themselves. And they did just that. Friends matter.
My daughter, Lori, is straight. She has always defended the "underdog". For a full year in middle school, she protected a girl in her classroom deemed "ugly", "poor", and generally unworthy of earthly existence...according to the standards of a group of bullies. The bullies turned their attention to Lori at that point and she, too, was berated and harassed that entire year by the same bullies. They were unrelenting in their taunts and meanness. Lori received the Citizenship of the Year award at the end of that school year. Every single middle school teacher came up to us after the ceremony and told of how she had remained kind, gentle, and sweet to everyone, even while defending the young girl she had taken under her wing. They told us how they were humbled by her attitude-even to the bullies. Each teacher told us that Lori had instead become their teacher, teaching them lessons in how to treat others. The bullies pretty much remained bullies to everyone throughout their school years, while Lori soared right on by them. Kindness matters.
My son, Kip, is gay. His story is far too long with far too many soul crushing incidents to share here, but life was often so terribly difficult for him. Living in the Bible Belt, he endured the cruel and ignorant words and actions of many-young and old-including teachers, school administration, his high school principal, church leaders, and countless others. Those years were nothing less than gut-wrenching for him and our entire family. In spite of the never ending torment of bullies, Kip excelled in school and received a full scholarship for his college education. He’s happy and confident now, secure in the man he’s grown to be, and he’s worked tirelessly for human/social justice rights for over ten years. He’s once again back in school (graduate school) continuing his education, minus the bullying this time. I’ve been fighting for his equality for over twenty years. I’m still fighting. Equality matters.
Let me be very clear...Bullying wasn’t just my children’s issue; it was our family’s issue, and it totally affected all of our lives. How I wish that my family could have had access to resources like Safe Schools Action Network and all the other civil rights networks and organizations of today. Alas, they weren’t available to us all those years ago. Our family was very much alone, but you don’t have to be. Support matters.
LGBTQ or straight...bullying is wrong. Bullies do not define who you are or who you will grow to be. Tell someone if you, your child, or those who can’t defend themselves are being bullied. Don’t let anyone, including school officials, tell you that there’s nothing that can be done about it; Believe me, there is! And be careful that you don’t become the bully and the name-caller that you’re trying to stop. Be kind, be firm, and be in their face until your voice is heard. Someone will be listening. Never, never, never give up. Perseverance matters.
I believe a kinder, gentler, and equal world is possible.
I always have and I always will. Hope matters.
Wishing love and peace to each of you. You matter.
Cheryl EqualityMom Williams