Two days ago, in this piece, it was noted that 65% of the population favors some form of support for same-sex couples, with a close to even split between full support for marriage equality and support for civil unions.
It's long been my contention that those who support civil unions are basically marriage equality supporters in waiting. After all, civil unions make no real sense-- they're not marriage equality, don't work like marriage equality and don't offer the same rights. But people who support them are basically in favor of gay rights but can't quite make that leap to full equality.
That's what we saw in Vermont-- civil unions, which were extremely contentious when passed, and cost some supporters their legislative seats, led the way to marriage equality less than a decade later. And though people threatened retribution with marriage equality, for the most part, it simply did not happen.
Every one of those civil unions supporters has enough awareness to feel a need to support gay rights but is looking for weasel room to avoid full support of marriage.
And I say that homophobic bigots our by far our best ally in this.
Cue Maryland:
Supporters of Maryland's same-sex marriage bill appear close to picking up a vote from an unexpected source: Sen. James Brochin (D-Baltimore County).
Brochin had previously expressed support for civil unions but balked at granting full marriage rights to gay couples.
[...]
Brochin said in the news release that he was moved by testimony at the hearing, particularly that of the bill's opponents, which he called "appalling."
"Witness after witness demonized homosexuals, vilified the gay community and described gays and lesbians as pedophiles," Brochin said.
and:
ANNAPOLIS — Supporters of permitting same-sex marriage in Maryland clashed with opponents Tuesday in a battle in which neither side was willing to discuss intermediate options such as civil unions.
In fact, Republican Sen. Allan H. Kittleman — who had endorsed civil unions as recently as a month ago — said such a step would consign gay couples to less than equal status.
"I was trying to do what I thought was right" by supporting a civil-union compromise earlier, he told the Senate Judicial Proceedings Committee.
Civil unions are a slower path than I would like, but I saw the debate as it happened in Massachusetts-- first civil unions were introduced as the only option, then the argument pushed them into the conservative alternative to full marriage and then the whole thing just fell apart. That particular debate took place over the course of a few days, but it was brilliant to watch it happen, compressed into such a small time because in retrospect, it's exactly what happened in Vermont over the course of a decade.
I urge constant and steadfast support for marriage equality, but I also urge us to be gentle, civil and polite with those who are not yet ready to make the leap. Argue with them, and explain our point on the failures of civil unions. Question them on it, but do not be mean or hostile with them. They are our allies, but they are not quite ready yet. They will be soon.
In the meantime, let the bigots be the barbarians who shine a twisted mirror up to those who would not give us our full rights. Let us just be there as good, purposeful humans who just want to be treated fairly under the law and let them be the ones connected with viciousness and vile behavior.
It is how we win.