Esby, here, in Madison, Wisconsin to go to the Tea Party rally. And it looks like there has been some kind of communication error. Again! There's just 50,000 progressives here. When Justin "Thomas" Jefferson, President of my local Tea Party Chapter (The Patriotic Patriots of Liberation, Free Liberty, and Freedom) sent out the national email, he wrote this:
HEY GUY'S WERE GOING TO SHOW THEM UNION THUG'S WHOSE BOSS!!!! PLAN IS TO MEAT IN MADISON AND MAKE SURE TO BRING MARKER'S THIS TIME BECAUSE BRINGING JUST SIGN'S ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH, IS IT CHRIS-LOL, YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU, BRO IN A NON GAY WAY!!!! ANYWAY, WERE GONNA WEAR UNION SHIRT'S AND KISS GUY'S AND EVERYBODY IS GONNA THINK THE UNION IS GAY!!!! CAUSE THEY ARE!!!
The only problem is, I guess there's a Madison in just about every state in the continental US. So who knows where everybody wound up? So if a gay guy in a union shirt kisses you in Madison, Alabama, I just want you to know they are for lower taxes and smaller government.
We made a mistake with some of the video we aired, and plan on issuing a correction on America’s Newsroom tomorrow morning explaining exactly what happened.
—Fox Senior Vice President of News Michael Clemente, on reporting that Ron Paul got booed at CPAC.
Fox has a Vice President of News? What does he even do? How do I get that job?
Honey, I'm a comedian. The last thing I want to do is shut you up.
—Bill Maher rhetorically to Sarah Palin.
A misogynistic comedian, granted.
It's a street drug scam, it's selling oregano as weed, on a massive, massive scale.
—Matt Taibbi on selling toxic mortgages as AAA rated.
Breathe deep, Wisconsin, because justice is in the air. And may the spirit of Tahrir Square be in every beating heart in Madison today.
—Maor Eletrebi, in an email to Tom Morello of Rage Against the Machine.
Put up your dukes, Tea Party!
—Tom Morello to The National Review later at a Madison rally.
Withdraw your children from the streets. They are drugging your children, they are making your children drunk and sending them to hell.
—Muammar Gaddafi, claiming Libyan protesters were hallucinating on drugs provided by foreigners.
Dude, they're high on just the idea of freedom.
The Onion News Network has 20,000 attack satellites, we have hidden cameras in 80% of the homes in America, we're really giving you guys a run for your money.
—Carol Kolb, head writer for the Onion News Network to CNN's Howard Kurtz, on why they are more apt than CNN to scoop the news.
I am not the Queen of the Tea Party.
—Rep. Michele Bachmann (R, MN).
Maybe the Handmaiden of Hades.
If the country is ever attacked like it was on 9/11, we all respond with a sense of urgency. What’s going on – on balance sheets throughout the country is the same type of attack.
—Rick Santelli.
I knew Excel was evil.
You know how these billionaires retreats are. You plan to just drop by, maybe eat some caviar out of a tiger paw, got to a dodo cockfight and do shots of single malt orphan tears and boom! It's four days later and you wake up next to Walt Disney's frozen head. We've all been there.
—Stephen Colbert.
I don't want to see state senator Mark Miller going down that water slide at the Best Western.
—Laura Ingraham.
Maybe you like Rush Limbaugh's sexy, sexy belly.
I'm trying to say that our First Lady does not project the image of women that you might see on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue or of a woman Alex Rodriguez might date every six months or what have you.
—Rush Limbaugh
She apparently does not meet the whorish standards that a fat man might pay money to see naked.
My generation is getting to old for this crap, you have to take the torch and run with it. It’s time.
—Dailykos blogger cls180 on political apathy.
Now that’s all gone. How fitting that Lara Logan was “liberated” by Muslims in Liberation Square while she was gushing over the other part of the “liberation.”
—Debbie Schlussel, on Logan's brutal rape in Egypt.
Whenever I hear about the "angry left", you guys always come roaring back with on-the-record statements so depraved and inhumane that I wonder how anyone would dare call you their friend.
We can put these funds to use in a way that gets the best bang for the buck. The administration should redirect these funds to New York as quickly as possible.
—Sen. Chuck Schumer (D, NY) over Gov. Rick Scott's (R, FL) rejection of federal high speed rail funds.
Quote the Ravin', a weekly roundup of quotes from the internets, comes out every Tuesday afternoon.