Late last night I read psychodrew's diary, DADT Not Dead: The Persecution of Derek Morado.
Like many of the commenters, I was angry and frustrated and feeling a little hopeless. Too angry and frustrated and hopeless to even comment in the diary.
Then this morning, I watched a video from the Courage Campaign, in which Jeff and Lori Wilfahrt talk about their son Andrew, who died last month in Afghanistan, and now I'm too angry and frustrated and hopeless not to write a diary.
The official announcement of his death simply reads:
The Department of Defense announced today the death of a soldier who was supporting Operation Enduring Freedom.
Cpl. Andrew C. Wilfahrt, 31, of Rosemount, Minn., died Feb. 27, in Kandahar province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when insurgents attacked his unit using an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to the 504th Military Police Battalion, 8th Military Police Brigade, 8th Theater Sustainment Command, Schofield Barracks, Hawaii. (source)
What the announcement doesn't capture is what a remarkable young man Andrew Wilfahrt was. To begin to get a sense of that, you need to read the words of his family:
He was compassionate, smart, and witty. He was an admirer, composer and player of music who believed deeply in art and humanity. Andrew was fascinated by math, palindromes, maps, patterns, mashed potatoes and the absurd. He continually searched for meaning; observing and seeking to understand life and nature's many mysteries. (source)
And you need to read the words of his fellow soldiers (source):
“Wilfahrt was a model soldier and it was an honor to call him a member of the team,” said Staff Sgt. Jason Paredes, military police officer assigned to 552nd Military Police Company, 504th Military Police Battalion, currently attached to 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division. “He would drop anything he was doing to help another soldier.”
“Andrew was one of the most intelligent individuals I have ever met,” said 1st Lt. Brandon Lamar, platoon leader, assigned to 552nd Military Police Company, 504th Military Police Battalion, currently attached to 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division. “Every conversation with him was like a lesson in life; he was always eager to learn and was truly an iconic soldier.”
“Andrew was the kind of soldier that every leader hopes to have on his team,” said Sgt. 1st Class Daniel Staniewicz, platoon sergeant, assigned to 552nd Military Police Company, 504th Military Police Battalion, currently attached to 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division. “He had a perfect ‘300’ Army Physical Fitness Test score; he was an outstanding shot with his rifle, and even took on the additional duty of being the company’s guide-on bearer.”
Andrew Wilfahrt may have been a model soldier, but he was not an expected soldier. When he told his mother he was joining the military, she was shocked:
I was speechless. I thought, 'How on earth did you come to this?' He was kind of a peace activist and he hated war, and there was nothing in his life that indicated that he would ever be interested in the military, so yeah I was surprised. (source)
Andrew's decision to join the Army was even more complicated than most because Andrew was gay.
He spent a lot of time thinking about it and he came to terms with it. He knew he would have to go back in the closet, that he would have to keep that to himself. And he did, for at least part of his stay in the Army. But when I talked to him (or when he wrote maybe) when he was in Afghanistan, he said nobody cares. He said, 'Everybody knows, nobody cares.' He said, 'Even the really conservative, religious types, they didn't care either.' (source)
“He didn’t have a child and a wife,” Jeff Wilfahrt said. “In a way, he went over so that somebody with a young family wouldn’t die.” (source)
As his parents describe in their video for the Courage Campaign, Andrew, sadly, did in fact die so that somebody with a young family wouldn't:
The other man that was wounded is a family man... he's got a couple of kids, he's doing well, he's healing. We've recently seen a picture of him in his hospital bed, with his kids there, and they've all got big grins. I guess Andrew got what he wanted. It became pretty evident from the visit on Monday that Andrew's body and the blast he took shielded and protected Sgt. Williams....
Soldiers don't die for freedom of speech. They don't die for patriotism. They don't die for noble causes. They don't die for our political agendas. Soldiers die for each other. If the man or woman to your right or left is doing their job, that's all that matters. Gender, race, creed, sexuality, just aren't on their radar. Can they shoot straight? Can they take care of each other? Do they have your back? That's all a soldier cares about.
The video closes with the reminder that "Since its repeal on December 22nd, 2010, at least three more soldiers have died in the closet while waiting for the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell to be certified."
DADT is not gone. Brave men and women like Andrew Wilfahrt still serve and die even as the military continues to discriminate against them.
Andrew's story makes me incredibly sad, but it also makes me angry. Angry that a man like Andrew even had to consider what repercussions there might be if his sexual orientation was discovered. Angry that an out and proud man had to go back into the closet in order to serve. Angry that we still have national leaders who argue that gays and lesbians will weaken our military or put the lives of fellow soldiers at risk. Angry that Haley Barbour can sit on his fat ass and dishonour the memory of a hero like Andrew Wilfahrt by saying that the repeal of DADT will ruin the military. And angry that, despite the celebration of repeal, over 3 months later, gay and lesbian soldiers are still being threatened and still forced to live in the closet.
I'd like our President, our Congressional representatives, and our military leaders to watch this video and explain to Jeff and Lori Wilfahrt why their son was good enough to die for America but not good enough to be treated equally in America.