Donald Trump's sudden and unexpected decision to exit the presidential race this week left the Republican field with a Volkswagen-sized hole, but thankfully, Newt Gingrich was ready to step in and fill it.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't indebted to Newt for selflessly providing comic relief in the form of an epically cartoonish statement to the press.
Surely he deserves all of the praise and glitter that's been showered upon him in the ensuing days.
In fact, if he keeps this up, the Republican nominating contest may turn out to be the greatest show on post-apocalyptic Earth.
Morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI); Roundtable: Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-MD), Republican Strategist Mike Murphy, Andrea Mitchell (NBC News), Eugene Robinson (Washington Post) and Andrew Ross Sorkin (New York Times).
Face the Nation: Republican Presidential Candidate Newt Gingrich.
This Week: Former Special Envoy for Middle East Peace George Mitchell; King Abdullah II of Jordan; Former Middle East Negotiator Aaron David Miller; Jake Tapper (ABC News); Roundtable: George Will (Washington Post), Republican Strategist Matthew Dowd, Democratic Strategist Donna Brazile and Jonathan Karl (ABC News).
Fox News Sunday: Republican Presidential Candidate Herman Cain; Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY); Roundtable: Paul Gigot (Wall Street Journal), Former Sen. Evan Bayh (D-IN), Sociopath Liz Cheney and Juan Williams (Fox News).
State of the Union: Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL); Rep. Mike Rogers (R-MI); Rep. C.A Dutch Ruppersberger (D-MD); Former House Majority Leader Dick Armey (R-TX); Former Chief of Staff to Joe Biden Ron Klain; Israeli Ambassador to the United States Michael Oren; Reliable Sources: Mark Barabak (Los Angeles Times).
The Chris Matthews Show: Dan Rather (HDNet); Rachel Maddow (MSNBC); Kelly O'Donnell (NBC News); Michael Gerson (Washington Post).
Fareed Zakaria GPS: Former Director-General of the International Atomic Energy Agency Mohamed ElBaradei; Secretary General of the Arab League Amr Moussa; Journalist Sarah Abdelrahman; Activists Noor Ayman Nour, Ragia Omran and Waleed Rashed.
Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will feature: a report on allegations by a former teammate that Lance Armstrong used performance enhancing drugs (preview); an interview with former FBI agent Lin DeVecchi about his relationship with mob informat Greg "The Grim Reaper" Scarpa (preview); and, an interview with Tom Drake, a former NSA senior executive indicted on espionage charges (preview).
On Comedy Central:
Fresh off his debate against Bill O'Reilly, Jon Stewart pleasured himself with the latest news about Osama bin Laden, Donald Trump and Dominique Strauss-Kahn.
And Stephen Colbert examined Republicans' tortured efforts to justify the use of waterboarding.
Note: The Daily Show and The Colbert Report will be airing reruns this week. New episodes will resume airing on Tuesday, May 31.
Elsewhere:
After publishing a satirical article claiming that Jerome Corsi's latest opus, "Where's the Birth Certificate?," was being pulled from bookstore shelves – prompting World Net Daily editor Joseph Farrah to threaten legal action – Esquire posted the following update:
[F]or those who didn't figure it out yet, and the many on Twitter for whom it took a while: We committed satire this morning to point out the problems with selling and marketing a book that has had its core premise and reason to exist gutted by the news cycle, several weeks in advance of publication. Are its author and publisher chastened? Well, no. They double down, and accuse the President of the United States of perpetrating a fraud on the world by having released a forged birth certificate. Not because this claim is in any way based on reality, but to hold their terribly gullible audience captive to their lies, and to sell books. This is despicable, and deserves only ridicule. That's why we committed satire in the matter of the Corsi book. Hell, even the president has a sense of humor about it all.
Meanwhile:
Ben Stein mounted a clear eyed defense of fellow economist (and accused rapist) Dominique Strauss-Kahn.
Stein says it is totally possible that DSK is guilty of the crime he's been arrested for, but what he is actually, really saying is that DSK is totally not guilty of the crime, because he is a rich economist, and maids are crazy bitches:
In life, events tend to follow patterns. People who commit crimes tend to be criminals, for example. Can anyone tell me any economists who have been convicted of violent sex crimes? Can anyone tell me of any heads of nonprofit international economic entities who have ever been charged and convicted of violent sexual crimes? Is it likely that just by chance this hotel maid found the only one in this category? Maybe Mr. Strauss-Kahn is guilty but if so, he is one of a kind, and criminals are not usually one of a kind.
Actually, his vision appears to be a little hazy.
And in other news:
During an interview with her BFF Greta van Susteren, Sarah Palin left the door open to entering the presidential race.
"I am so adamantly supportive of the good, traditional things about America. … I want to make sure America is put back on the right track and we will do that by defeating Obama in 2012. I have that fire in my belly," she said.
The former vice presidential nominee said one hurdle is "understanding the huge amount of scrutiny and the sacrifices that have to be made on my children's part in order to see their mama run for President."
Honk if you love popcorn.
- Trix