On Monday night, the unimpressive field of Republican presidential candidates gathered on a stage in New Hampshire to hold a debate in the grand tradition of Lincoln-Douglas.
In the end, however, the debate was more reminiscent of a second-rate game show, with moderator John King asking a series of inane questions designed to determine who's the black sheep.
The consensus among the so-called "literati" is that unemployed millionaire Mitt Romney and crazy cat lady Michele Bachmann were the big winners.
Meanwhile, Tim Pawlenty was (almost) universally acknowledged to be the biggest loser. He'd better get his ass in gear if he wants to make it to the bonus round.
Morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL); Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC); Roundtable: Richard Engel (NBC News), Mayor of Los Angeles Antonio Villaraigosa (D), Paul Gigot (Wall Street Journal), Presidential Historian Doris Kearns Goodwin and Chuck Todd (NBC News).
Face the Nation: Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY); Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY); Rep. Mike Rogers (R-MI).
This Week: Sen. John McCain (R-AZ); Pakisani Ambassador to the US Husain Haqqani; Sociopath Liz Cheney; David Ignatius (Washington Post); Roundtable: George Will (Washington Post), Amy Walter (ABC News), Republican Strategist Matthew Dowd and Jacob Weisberg (Slate).
Fox News Sunday: Outgoing Secretary of Defense Robert Gates; Jon Stewart (Comedy Central); Roundtable: Bill Kristol (Weekly Standard), Former Bush Press Secretary Dana Perino, Mara Liasson (NPR/FNC) and Former Obama Deputy Press Secretary Bill Burton.
State of the Union: Outgoing Secretary of Defense Robert Gates; Senior Adviser to President Obama David Axelrod; Reliable Sources: John Avlon (Daily Beast); Jennifer Rubin (Washington Post); Julie Mason (Politico); Larry King (Formerly of CNN); Filmmaker John Ziegler.
The Chris Matthews Show: Major Garrett (National Journal); Norah O'Donnell (CBS News); Michelle Cottle (Daily Beast); John Harris (Politico).
Fareed Zakaria GPS: Former Clinton Labor Secretary Robert Reich; Former Reagan OMB Director David Stockman; London School of Economics Professor Fawaz Gerges; Author Maziar Bahari.
Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will feature: a report on the protests in Tunisia (preview); and, a report on the recently discovered phenomenon of "superior autobiographical memory," the ability to recall nearly every day of one's life (preview).
On Comedy Central:
Jon Stewart reviewed the Republican debate, and determined that it really is hard out here for a pimp libertarian.
The Daily Show
Monday: Former Mayor of New Orleans Ray Nagin
Tuesday: Actress Cameron Diaz
Wednesday: Author Mitchell Zuckoff
Thursday: Director Andrew Rossi
And Northwestern University commencement speaker Stephen Colbert called out "Sesame Street" for its efforts to indoctrinate children.
The Colbert Report
Monday: Band Bon Iver
Tuesday: Band Florence and The Machine
Wednesday: Musician Talib Kweli
Thursday: Band The Black Belles
Speaking of indoctrinating children:
A group of Tea Party "patriots" have set up a summer camp to do just that.
One example at Liberty: Children will win hard, wrapped candies to use as currency for a store, symbolizing the gold standard. On the second day, the "banker" will issue paper money instead. Over time, students will realize their paper money buys less and less, while the candies retain their value.
"Some of the kids will fall for it," Lukens said. "Others kids will wise up."
Another example: Starting in an austere room where they are made to sit quietly, symbolizing Europe, the children will pass through an obstacle course to arrive at a brightly decorated party room (the New World).
Red-white-and-blue confetti will be thrown. But afterward the kids will have to clean up the confetti, learning that with freedom comes responsibility.
Still another example: Children will blow bubbles from a single container of soapy solution, and then pop each other's bubbles with squirt guns in an arrangement that mimics socialism. They are to count how many bubbles they pop. Then they will work with individual bottles of solution and pop their own bubbles.
"What they will find out is that you can do a lot more with individual freedom," Lukens said.
Meanwhile:
An Alabama State Senator was recorded by the FBI calling black people "aborigines."
A defense attorney for indicted casino owner Milton McGregor presented a transcript in court Wednesday from a recorded conversation that Republican Sen. Scott Beason of Gardendale had with two other GOP legislators. The three were joking about economic development in predominantly black Greene County and the customers at one of the county’s largest employers, the Greenetrack casino in Eutaw.
"That’s y'all's Indians," one Republican said.
"They’re aborigines, but they're not Indians," Beason replied.
When quizzed by defense lawyer Bobby Segall, Beason said he didn't recall recording the conversation, but he didn't dispute its accuracy.
And in related news:
Attendees at today's Republican Leadership Conference were treated to the comedy stylings of Fox News' resident Obama impersonator.
The impersonator, Reggie Brown, took the stage at the annual presidential cattle call to the Bruce Springsteen song “Born in the USA” — an apparent allusion to the birther controversy. He proceeded to tell a series of off-color jokes poking fun at Obama’s biracial heritage and a gay member of Congress.
Eventually, RLC President and CEO Charlie Davis made the decision to pull him offstage, and a man came onstage to physcially escort Brown off.
A sampling of the racial jokes:
- On Black History Month: "Michelle celebrates the full month. I celebrate half."
- My mother loved a black man," but "she was not a Kardashian."
- A picture was shown of Obama and the first lady when he took office. The impersonator then showed a picture of what the Obamas will look like when the president leaves office, and it was the characters of Fred Sanford and his sister-in-law, Ethel, from the show "Sanford and Son."
Game over.
- Trix