The third week of release for Sarah Palin's crockumentary, "The Undefeated," saw its worst boxoffice performance yet. Dropping from 14 theaters last week to four this week, the film took in only $5,200 this weekend - a decline of 79%. Since its release, the million dollar production has earned a paltry $112,000 total.
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I almost feel a little sorry for her.
Almost.
Forget the press release extolling the success that sent the film to video after only two weeks in release. Never mind the ecstatic bragging by producers that the film was enjoying "overwhelming demand." The UnDefeated flopped in a formidable fashion, despite the massive free publicity that Fox News gave the movie prior to, and during, its theatrical run. Here is a selection of the headlines from Fox that now seem pathetically quaint:
- Hannity Exclusive: Sneak Peek of New Palin Documentary 'The Undefeated' (5/26/11)
- Interview: Steve Bannon, the Man Who Brought Sarah Palin's Story to the Screen (5/28/11)
- A Sneak Peek of the New Palin Documentary (6/6/11)
- New Palin Film, 'The Undefeated,' Getting Rave Reviews (6/6/11)
- Preview of New Documentary on Sarah Palin: 'The Undefeated' (6/11/11)
- RightOnline See Overwhelming Demand From Grassroots for Sneak Peek of Sarah Palin Movie Undefeated (6/15/11)
- Palin Film Debuting in Iowa Next Week (6/24/11)
- Palin Going to Iowa for "Undefeated" Premier (6/25/11)
- Palin Film Selling Out in Theaters (7/15/11)
- Palin Film Opens Strong, Theaters Packed (7/17/11)
- Palin Film to Get Wider Release (7/19/11)
- Click Here: Theaters Playing Palin's 'Undefeated' (7/22/11)
- Palin's 'Undefeated' Scores Success in Liberal Chicago (7/26/11)
So the losing 2008 GOP vice-presidential candidate, who quit halfway through her single term as governor, and is currently garnering single digits near the bottom of most polls for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination, has now officially been defeated at the boxoffice. Apparently her loyal fans cannot be bothered to do more than reTweet her lame musings and skim through her incoherent Facebook posts. All the more reason I really hope for this:
Perhaps most emblematic of a cinematic fiasco, the producers have al;ready announced that the movie is going straight to video – after less than three weeks in theatrical release. The press release from the distributor is a hilarious feast of hallucinatory grandeur. It reads like an announcement of triumph:
"Victory Film Group and ARC Entertainment, the distributor of 'The Undefeated,' the film about Gov. Sarah Palin's rise from obscurity to national prominence, jointly announced today that beginning on September 1st the film will be available to 75 million homes via Video on Demand and Pay-Per-View access through national and regional cable and satellite operators."
Translation: Our movie sucked so bad in theaters that we're desperately trying to salvage our investment and reputation by jumping immediately to television in the hopes that we can con some addled-brained Tea Baggers out of a few more bucks.
The press release went to say that "a ‘Special Edition’ DVD will contain additional new content and will only be sold in Walmart stores." Now that's an affirmation of achievement if there ever was one. The CEO of ARC Entertainment remarked that the company has been "inundated with requests from people wanting the film to be made available in their market." Just not in their theaters. He continued by expressing how excited he is "about having this film made available to the entire country earlier than expected." The producers of Harry Potter must be mortified that their movie will be stuck in cinemas for another six months and won't be "available to the entire country" for a year or more.
These entertainment geniuses are attempting to argue that the empty theaters are a sign of "overwhelming demand" from the public who are just so darned anxious to see the picture in their own homes with their Jiffy-Pop and CutRate Cola. Despite this hankering for the film, the producers assert that they will still have to embark on a multimillion dollar campaign to promote the TV offering. It's a good thing that that’s a load of BS, because otherwise they would be losing even more money on this turkey.
This pathetic display of disinterest in the Palin crockumentary that was heralded as the true story of the half-term governor, and that would polish her image and reveal her greatness, cannot portend well for her presidential ambitions, if she really has any. If the people who would be her most ardent supporters won’t go to see her vanity bio-pic, then we shouldn't expect voters to go out of their way either. America views Palin as a quitter, a loser, and a washed up reality star. At this point Khloe Kardashian would probably out-poll Palin.