From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Little Gay Billy's BIG Gay Newsapalooza!
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Note: Here's a fun activity for you kids at summer camp! Take a blank sheet of paper and fold it in half. On the outside write with Elmer's glue: "The Big Book of Good Tea Party Ideas." Sprinkle glitter on it and let it dry. Now open it up and draw a big zero on the inside. Awesome---you're a published author! Now go get me a beer and then put on your jammies for tonight's snipe hunt.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the registration price for Netroots Nation in Providence, RI goes up: 30
Days `til the Taste of the Caribbean and Jerk Festival in Hartford, Connecticut: 4
Percent of the nation's population now accounted for by rural areas: 16%
Previous years in which the number has been that low: 0
(Source: 2010 Census data via USA Today)
Re-imprisonment rate for sex offenders in Maine within three years after their release: 4%
Re-imprisonment rate for other criminals in Maine: 21%
(Source: The Maine Sunday Telegram)
Calories a 55-pound Siberian husky can burn in a day: 12,000
(Source: Parade)
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
Obviously this was retaliation by Islamic terrorists for the publication of cartoons 5, 6, years ago depicting Mohammad. As you can see Muslims never forget an affront… they are still fighting the invading Crusaders from 1500 years ago! We’re fighting this war on terrorism the wrong way. Instead of us just reacting to the threats and spending trillions of dollars in the process, what we need to do is that every time there’s a terrorist bombing we should select a Muslim city, at random, and bomb a few square blocks, equal to the terrorist bombing. That will give them something to think about…!
---A commenter at RedState (via Wonkette) on the 7/22 Norway terrorist attack
All together now: 1…2…3… Classy!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Here…take your pick!
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CHEERS to friends dropping in unannounced. Here's what I'll remember about the Stupid and Pointless Ransom Act of 2011, which passed the House yesterday (and goes to the Senate in a few hours):
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah >>> Gabby Giffords!!! <<< Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
She waved at me through the TV. I think she saw me wave back.
CHEERS to strange comrades-in-disappointment. One influential person's reaction to the debt ceiling deal:
I’m convinced the GOP is lying to itself on this plan. … The GOP is scared of its own shadow. … I can’t support this deal. However, it could be worse. Were I in Congress, I’d vote against it. All that said, I think this is it, so we might as well get used to it. Just keep track of who on the right votes against it. They’ll be the real heroes. If we get lucky, it goes down and we fight on. Just don’t hold your breath on that one.
That's Erick Erickson at RedState. Yup---there's a whole lot of conservatives who are inexplicably pissed, too. Their greed is so all-encompassing that they want maximum suffering and pandemonium and they want it Now! But they didn’t quite get it. Small consolation for us, but at least it's nice knowing we aren't the only ones with bees in our bonnets. Which, coincidentally, is an excellent and environmentally-friendly alternative to the gas-guzzling jetpack.
JEERS to sarcasm that blows up in your face. Maine recently passed a law that says you can keep a gun in your car's glove compartment. Someone wrote a letter to The Portland Press Herald with a concern about the wisdom of that law. And that prompted another letter writer named Buck to---pardon the pun---return fire, using his mastery of snark:
Maybe we should take this a few steps further. If you own a television and you have an antenna on your roof, probably thieves will break into your house to steal the TV. So I have taken my antenna off the roof so no one will know I own a TV. The problem is, I cannot get any reception now so I have to watch one channel. But at least no one will know I own a TV. I only hope that [letter writer] Whittenburg appreciates what I am doing to take a bite out of crime.
Ha Ha! Equating gun theft with TV theft---hilarious! Except, y'know, not. Because this story hit the news the day after the above letter was published:
A handgun used in a shooting on Depot Street just after midnight Thursday was stolen from Farmington last week, police said Friday as they searched for the gunman.
So, at halftime, the score remains: Number of people shot at with stolen handguns: too many to count. Number of people shot at with stolen TVs: 0. Number of letter writers to the Portland Press Herald shot in the foot with their own words last week: 1. Schadenfreude: Infinity.
CHEERS to great inventions. On August 2, 1887, Chester A. Hodge of Beloit, Wisconsin received a patent for barbed wire. Or as Gov. Scott Walker likes to call it: gift wrap.
JEERS to bad Samaritans. I'm betting you heard about the airliner that skidded off the runway in Guyana Saturday and broke apart. Amazingly, all 163 passengers and crew survived. But, of course, someone just had to be a dick:
Nobody had yet showed up to rescue [passenger Geeta Ramsingh], "but a taxi driver appeared from nowhere and charged me $20 to take me to the terminal. I had to pay, but in times of emergencies, you don't charge people for a ride," she said, sitting on a chair in the arrival area surrounded by relatives. She was returning to her native country for only the second time in 30 years.
And if the rest of her trip is like that, probably her last.
CHEERS to a class act. Peter O'Toole turns 79 today. Whenever I see him lately (we do lunch on Tuesdays) he looks like he's ready to fall over. But damn...dude's still got plenty of gigs on his plate. And extra mojo for making me laugh without lifting a finger. In the DVD player next chance I get: Lawrence, of course.
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Five years ago in C&J: August 2, 2006
JEERS to wolf legislation in sheep's clothing. Last Friday, in the middle of the night, Republicans in the House "passed" a bill that would raise the minimum wage. Of course it also contained a "poison pill" that would give tax breaks to millionaires like Bill Frist and Joe Lieberman by abolishing the estate tax. "This makes arsenic look like Milk of Magnesia," says AEI's Norm Ornstein. Thanks to brazen stunts like this, we have a hunch the GOoPers'll be suckin' down Prilosec like candy come November.
CHEERS to throwing the bums out. Good morning, Kansas! Don't ya just love the smell of reality-based book learnin' in the morning...
Conservative Republicans who brought international attention to Kansas by approving academic standards calling evolution into question lost control of the state school board in primaries. As a result of the vote, board members and candidates who believe evolution is well-supported by evidence will have a 6-4 majority. Evolution skeptics had entered the election with a 6-4 majority. [...] The most closely watched race was in western Kansas, where incumbent conservative Connie Morris lost her GOP primary to Sally Cauble.
By the way, Connie Morris is the board member who said evolution was an "age-old fairy tale" and "a nice bedtime story" unsupported by science. Let's see, what are the words you say when a fairy tale or a bedtime story is over, Connie? Oh yeah... THE END
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And just one more…
CHEERS to reality TV that doesn’t suck. Democrats in Washington may lose to Republicans over and over again, but there's one place where Democrats absolutely kick ass: documentary filmmaking. That'll be obvious over the next several weeks as Current TV airs a series called 50 Documentaries to see before you die:
This is not your average list show. Renowned documentarian Morgan Spurlock will embark on a road trip to track down the filmmakers and characters behind some of the most remarkable moments in contemporary cinema. Along the way, he'll meet maverick directors and eccentric contributors, travel to iconic locations and explore the impact that the documentaries have made on both their subjects and society, all the while counting down to number one.
The five, one-hour shows will take the viewer from the plains of Antarctica in March of the Penguins to the basketball courts of Chicago in Hoop Dreams; from early examples of the blockbuster doc like Roger and Me and The Thin Blue Line to more recent hits such as Catfish and Inside Job. The series will form part of a two-month season in which Current will air full-length presentations of many of the featured docs.
Some people are chocoholics. Me---I'm a docuholic. This is gonna be great, especially since 2011 has, with few exceptions, sucked fartywind so far at the box office. First episode airs tonight at 9, after Olbermann, with Spurlock following up on the drama behind the doc that's become the Citizen Kane for vintage-video-game lovers: The King of Kong---A Fistful of Quarters. SPOILER ALERT: Mario refuses to continue past Level 9 unless Kong puts on a diaper.
Have a nice Tuesday. At the risk of sounding rude, I'd bust a gut if this ends up stuck in climate-denier Rush Limbaugh's living room. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
The new “Richly Perverse” by Strangebeautiful translates a powerful and “erotic” fragrance into a clear overcoat that can be applied over any polish. More concentrated than an eau de toilette, the perfume polish features notes of tobacco, leather, tuberose and Bill in Portland Maine, and is available for $28.
---Rina Raphael
7/28/11
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