I have had the fortune of blogging here for years. I've enjoyed it, enjoyed the fights and the debates... the arguments and the back and forth. I've taken lumps when I realized I was wrong, appreciated when I had something to say others enjoyed. I was happy to be "rescued" more then a few times and rec'd once.
But in all that time, all those years, I can't remember a week that made me feel as bad about the happenings on Kos as this one. In the last week, I've used the HR far more then ever. I've found people using completely hateful, inappropriate terms to message each other. People prepping responses to diaries that they obviously didn't read, just hated the title and flamed.
I'm glad to see others noticing it, but there has to be a call to understand what a site like this is really about.
There is a huge misunderstanding that those who disagree with any position, even a position of a Democratic candidate should be castigated. And there is an equal misunderstanding that those who support everything about a democratic candidate should be ridiculed.
I saw and Rec'd the diary "What is Wrong with this Site" and he nails the problem. But we also miss out one the reality that whether it's trolls or a lack of courtesy, we have to start treating each other better.
This week, in a (very good, IMHO) diary by Pico "Don't Donate to Obama" (reclisted) it's obvious that many responders didn't bother to read a reasoned diary, and responded immediately to the title. It's unfortunate. His case being made, that dowstream donations would prove more beneficial to the party (and, most likely, also to Obama, as his donation level is high and GOTV for local races is important to also turn out the vote for him..)
But the responses were at times BRUTAL and INSULTING. We have to realize that if we disagree, we need to disagree with some decorum. We should show some respect for the ideas presented. This isn't saying we shouldn't flame trolls, but we have to at least take into consideration what someone is saying.
There are times where I have said things I wish I could take back. But we find a way to talk through it, to at least converse back and forth before we resort to just outright flaming each other.
I know for a lot of people knew here, this may seem as though "it's the way it is".. but believe me, it's not. The site is always full of good, reasonable posters who even if I completely disagree with I will read through and contemplate what they say and move on.
But in the last week, here's the kind of thing I've seen:
* Some of the most racist, offensive commentary I EVER remember seeing on this site. References to everything from "porch monkey" to "steppin' fetchit" dominated the HR. This is APPALLING. Being in an interacial family, I am proud of the heritages of my wife and sons. I was sickened to think that people would just float out such absolute hate - over a political disagreement. We have to realize that you can voice serious opposition to an idea, or a political philosophy, but an attack on a person is offensive. It destroys your credibility and it diminishes everyone who comes here hoping for discourse.
* I've seen posters attack each other in ways that is sickening. If you read through my diaries, you know I'm a parent to an autistic child. WHEN did we decide to start floating around attacks at people as "RETARD" and other attacks, associating people with the mentally handicapped and demeaning them. And its not just posters - people attacked others the same way - the attacks on Gifford were SICKENING. Do we stand for help for people, or are we OK with using hate terms toward each other and those who were the victims of violent crime?
* I may dislike Republicans, but I've seen two diaries which brutally attacked families, flamed people on a very personal level and in one case joked that they hoped Chris Christie will die. Let me explain something: I may disagree in the most vitriolic way with the positions of my opposition. But they are HUMAN BEINGS. I will not ever engage in wishing terrible things to happen to anyone personally. Attack someone's ideas. But I will NEVER EVER wish something terrible to happen to anyone. Because that person, as much as I may disagree with them is still a father, son, daughter, mother, brother, sister to someone. Someone loves them - and while I may hate their ideas, I would be sick if I was the kind of person that would wish someone harm.
Posters here need to take a step back. Fight over your ideas. But before you post something hurtful, hateful.. before you attack someone.. read through what they've said, and at least give them the courtesy of a meaningful response. DO NOT BE AFRAID to HR comments that are the kind of thing that destroys discourse. If we permit outright hatred amongst us, how good is that for this site and what does it say about us as well?
I had wanted to write a different diary today; it's my autistic son's birthday, and I wanted to talk about the accomplishments and concerns today.. but I have had this draft saved since Monday.. but I look around and think to myself that I worry about posting some of my thoughts, which would be critical of the government, health care, and others.. because last thing I need today is to get attacked over the management of a child's healthcare. It happened to me the last time around - but was handled.. and that was two years ago.. and this site, unfortunately, is a lot less tolerant now.
And that's the part that makes me sad. So all I can say is: Before you hit "POST" think about what you are saying. Put some effort into thinking if you understand what you are responding to, and make sure you respond in kind - with reason and thought rather then hate and hurtful words.
Because if you're first move is to resort to that bile, then you aren't helping anyone. You can disagree - seriously disagree - without it. You might, in fact, make some progress on changing someone's mind or having your mind changed. But I'm through with the constant ad hominem attacks.
No Kumbya. Just a shake to your senses. I want to thank all of the great posters here I have always enjoyed, the people who make me come back. These kind of issues are the kind of things we can police ourselves. And it's time we did.