Hello, writers. Last week we had some discussion in the comments about headhopping. I had used the term without defining it.
Headhopping is a sudden point-of-view shift that happens within a scene.
Here’s an example:
Josie pointed the gun at Francis. She had never been more angry in her life—this was the last straw. She would kill him. Seriously kill him.
Francis saw the cold light in her eyes, and he knew that this time, unlike all the other times, she really would pull the trigger.
Generally, in modern commercial fiction, we’re only in one character’s POV per scene. In the example above, we know what Josie’s thinking, and also what Francis is thinking. If you’re writing from an omniscient viewpoint in which the author reveals each character’s thoughts in each scene, then the above example is kosher. (Note, though, that writing from an omniscient viewpoint can be tricky.) But if Josie is your viewpoint character, and you suddenly tell us what Francis is thinking… that’s headhopping.
Sometimes headhopping is a lot more subtle:
Josie pointed the gun at Francis. She had never been more angry in her life—this was the last straw. She would kill him this time. Seriously kill him.
Francis saw the cold light in her eyes. “I didn’t do it,” he said.
The second example is only headhopping because the reader is allowed to see something the POV character couldn’t have seen: her own eyes. Writers tend to do this sort of thing unconsciously.
If you’re a not-especially-famous writer, and are observing the conventions of the commercial fiction that’s being published right now, then in your final revisions you should make sure that each scene is from only one character’s POV.
If you’re not observing the conventions, then of course you can do as you like.
If you’re a famous writer who sells on his/her name alone, then you can also do whatever you like.
Switching POVs from one scene to another is not headhopping; it’s having multiple viewpoint characters. If you decide to do that, then you should establish it fairly early in the manuscript. Waiting until chapter 12 to introduce a different POV can be a bit jarring to the reader.
If the entire book or story is from only one POV, then you have a great advantage in creating suspense, since anything going on inside another character’s head is a mystery and a possible danger to your POV character.
Which bring us to tonight’s challenge…
Rewrite this scene from the point of view of one of the characters in it. You can, of course, expand it, contract it, and change it however you want.
Josie pointed the gun at Francis.
“I didn’t do it,” said Francis. “It wasn’t me. It was Austin.”
“Sure, easy to blame Austin,” said Josie. “Since he can’t talk.”
She took a step back, so that the gun was covering Francis and Austin both.
“Wait,” said Francis. “I can tell you something.”
“Sure you can. You can always tell me something.”
“No, this is something really important.”
Btw, I realize we’re an unconventional crowd and so by nature disinclined to follow conventions. It’s good to know how, though. Great art can result from breaking the rules in some new and different way. After you know ‘em inside and out.
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