1] Gender
a] Male; how else can you fill out the groin area of a flight suit? Socks might work.
b] Good head of hair some greying at the temples allowed as this indicates experience.
c] White toothed smile but not too big a smile as to appear goofy or rabid.
d] Must be able to clear brush and preferably be able ride a horse [or at least pretend too].
e] Must be able to hide sexism by talking about abortion and family without actually saying women should be subservient; use of the bible at this point is acceptable.
2] Race
a] Must be white, people of color really cannot be card carrying Americans.
b] Must be able to say "African American" without mentioning Kenya.
c] Being able to speak Spanish can also allay fears of any inherent racism in the campaign, but not too well.
d] Should be able to say "my fellow Americans" to an audience of Latinos without batting an eye; or at least not reaching for a gun.
3] Religion
a] Christian; not one of those weird cults or anything but let your entourage of loony preachers do the heavy lifting for you.
b] Must be seen at church on a regular basis, falling asleep is not recommended unless contemplating on the majesty of "American Jesus".
c] Must be able to say "god spoke to me and told me to run" without appearing to be batshit crazy.
d] Hint at Christian nation but don't mention the Jews after all they are really just Christians in waiting.
4] Government
a] You must hate it, I mean really hate it. Hint at you are only running to be the most powerful person on the planet so you can get rid of it.
b] Taxes, you must really hate them and be able to say "cutting taxes will increase revenue" without cracking up or melting.
c] Hate government [I know I know] I mean really hate it; but also point out your previous experience in it ....but you really hate government.
e] Did i mention Taxes?...Pure evil.
5] Business
a] Love them and show this love by proposing complete deregulation and how keeping people safe at works kills profits.
b] Minimum wage who needs it, let the market decide, offer up the unemployed at no charge.
c] Say "everything is better run by the private sector", "let the market decide" and "keep government out of business" as often as possible. Meanwhile letting business run and finance your campaign. Selling your soul to the Koch brothers is optional.
d] Say "corporation taxes hurt profits" once again explain how cutting them will increase revenue. If necessary blame taxes for unemployment.
e] Must be able to say "Global warming is a liberal plot to cut corporate profits.
6] Education
a] Must believe science is an atheist plot against god.
b] Must be able to explain how cutting funding for education will make America more competitive in a highly technological world, after all Sunday school should be enough for most.
c] History should be banned then nobody can sense check your wildest claims that the Boston Tea party took place in Houston Texas, or that the founding fathers were "Apostolic Christians".
7] Other issues
a] Guns you love them, meanwhile beef up your own security. Open carry is a good thing as the Wild West was a very law abiding place and if you got hurt it was your own fault by not being quick enough.
b] You must hate homosexuality but not homosexuals since they have been misguided by atheist liberals. Remember everyone can be saved if they turn to homosexual hating Jesus.
c] Marriage is between one man and his property, don't say it quite like that; spout "family values" instead. All marriage is sacred except your three previous ones were merely mistakes and that you have now finally found "true love" with number four. You can always resort to god and him showing you "the error of your ways" if cornered.
d] Abortion is evil if necessary redefine rape and incest, ban contraception since this will remove the need for abortion. Provide escape route for your wife or daughter, remember in the end women are to blame if things go wrong.
e] God gave us the earth hence global waring is merely god's way of reducing heating costs and giving the air conditioning companies a helping hand in times of the economic hardship caused by atheists taxes.
f] Flag pins are the only way to tell if a real American is running for president, if worn by a person of color this is merely an ironic statement.
Summary.
Obey these simple guidelines and you are well on your way to the White House and really its "God's Will" [American Jesus] after all.