I love a good insult. It focuses the mind. Especially a good political insult. We are living, however, in a time when the insult gets no respect. In fact, it gets very little practice. And when it does rear its head, it gets shat upon by seemingly all sides. No wonder it is a dying art.
I attribute it to a number of things. None of them useful or worthwhile. In spite of the partisanship that everyone ascribes to our current political state, I think there is, equally, a craven and shameless tendency upon politicians to look over their shoulders and refrain from letting lose the little gem of a personal attack, for fear of alienating the mythical "Independent Voter." Also, there is political correctness run amok...a problem that is now...what?...30 or more years in the making? Political correctness is a problem of the Left. On the Right, we have "False Outrage." Between the two of both of these forms of stupidity and willful ignorance, the art of the biting political insult has been caught in a vice, and squeezed of its juice.
It's a shame, really, because a well worded insult is like a bumper sticker...it encapsulates in a few words what Paul Krugman or Frank Rich would need an entire column to convey. There was a time when every newspaper had editorial cartoons, which are a visual, artistic rendering of the verbal insult. But even political cartoons are not as common as they once were. I came of age reading the LA Times, and Paul Conrad was a minor hero of mine. His cartoons weren't busy...they were all one image, drawn starkly in black and white...with mostly very brief captions. Many of his best cartoons needed no caption at all. His drawing said all that needed to be said.
And they were biting. And some of those drawings said more than an editorial could hope to say. Instantly. Such, also, is the power of a great insult. It crystallizes a general concept, and stamps it on your brain in a way that lasts just as a tattoo does.
But when's the last time you heard such an insult? These days, an effective insult is all too often attacked from the side which should be sympathetic to the insulter because it is in bad form...and on the other side, they wax insincere affrontery directly in proportion to the insult's effectiveness, by trying to claim that the insult isn't directed at a single person, but rather smears an entire class of people. An entire class of people, I would add, that they don't give a rat's ass about. See the criticism of Newsweek's cover photo of Michele Bachmann. It's Sexist!!! See any criticism of someone's rather bizarre sense of Christianity..."You hate people of faith!"
For that matter, see the controversy here on Daily Kos over a political cartoon depicting president Obama doing handstands and numerous other tricks in order to "appease" the conservatives he faces in Congress. "It's patently racist!" "It's out of bounds, and panders to old Minstrel Stereotypes."
It was effective, folks...and that's exactly why some of you took such umbrage to it. Like all good political insults, it took a kernel of truth and communicated it in a way that everyone could respond to.
I don't want to re-argue that cartoon here...I just want to remind you of what real...biting...effective political insults sound like. And why they are a valid...no...a necessary part of the discourse. They work, when they are well crafted. Here are some of my favorite examples...
The following insults include not a few from our friends across the ocean. Say what you will about the British...but they are devilishly clever insulters, and don't shy away from the uncomfortable aftermath of their words. We could learn a lesson or two from them.
Winston Churchill, referring to Clement Attlee, who succeeded him as PM of England:
He's a sheep in sheep's clothing.
Short...to the point...and not knowing anything about Mr Attlee, I, as well as you, can probably draw a fair picture of the man.
Gore Vidal, referring to Ronald Reagan:
He's a triumph of the embalmer's art.
Mean, but true.
How about this, from LBJ, referring to his future boss, John Kennedy? He got the VP slot anyway:
The enviably attractive nephew who sings an Irish Ballad for the company, and then winsomely disappears before the table clearing and dish washing begins.
Sorry...but JFK was a bigger man than I...I would not have hired a man with such a jaundiced view of my own capabilities.
Jonathan Aiken, a former Conservative member of the British Parliament, had this acid observation about Maggie Thatcher:
She probably thinks Sinai is the plural of sinus.
Can you hear the American chorus of Sexism and misogyny? Give me a break. He wasn't talking about womanhood...he was talking about one woman. And perhaps, just perhaps...he was right.
Abraham Lincoln famously described his opponent's, Stephen Douglass, proposal for "Popular Sovereignty", a precursor to "States' Rights" thusly:
(His idea is) as thin as the homeopathic soup made from the shadow of a pigeon that has been starved to death.
Wouldn't you all enjoy hearing Obama describe the Paul Ryan Plan in such terms? Or the Tea Party Agenda in such terms? Sorry...that's impolitic.
Texan Sam Houston had this to say about none other than the esteemed Thomas Jefferson:
He has all the characteristics of a dog except for loyalty.
Ouch!
Journalist Emmett Hughes once said of Dwight Eisenhower:
As an intellectual he bestowed upon the games of Golf and Bridge all the enthusiasm and perseverance that he withheld from books and ideas.
Another ouch...but probably true.
Hunter S. Thompson painted a particularly repulsive picture of then Vice President George H. W. Bush:
He has the instincts of a dung beetle. No living politician can match his talent for soiling himself in public. Bush will seek out filth wherever it lives... and when he finds a new heap he will fall down and wallow crazily in it, making snorting sounds out of his nose and rolling over on his back and kicking his legs up in the air like a wild hog coming to water."
A little over the top, as was his style...but an indelible image of the man, you must admit.
Winston Churchill, whose tongue was as sharp as they come, had this to say about Stanley Baldwin, a Conservative former Prime Minister of the UK:
He occasionally stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened
This is my personal favorite...But that president Obama would say something equally as sharp elbowed and truthful about his opponents.
I'll leave you with the most succinct, and perhaps the most effective insult. It was penned by Dorothy Parker upon hearing the news that former president Calvin Coolidge had passed away:
How can they tell?
They just don't let it fly that way anymore. And we are not the better for it.
When people here bemoan the weakness of Democratic messaging...I'm telling you...it is tied to the demise of the political insult. They are verbal bumperstickers, and they distill into one ascerbic quote what others would labor to write in an entire op-ed.
And part of the reason for its demise is our own stinking thin skinnedness, and political correctness. Get over it. It's a tool. We are in a hole. We need all the tools we can get our hands upon.