From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Netroots Nation Auction Gathers Stuff, Gathers Steam
In six days, Netroots Nation Development Director Karen Kolber will, from an undisclosed location, open the briefcase that's handcuffed to her wrist, punch in the secret code, push the red button, and be served a delicious cup of coffee. Then she'll open the briefcase that's handcuffed to her other wrist, punch in the secret code, push the green button, and launch the 2012 Fall Netroots Nation Online Auction:
This year the Auction begins Tuesday, September 13th and runs through September 20th. It's because of donations from friends like you over the years that we're able to provide high quality programming both at our annual Convention [in Providence, RI this year---June 7-10] and across the country throughout the year.
Thanks so much for being such an important part of our success and helping to make this year's Auction the biggest ever!
During last year's auction you helped raise $14,000. This year we're shootin' for a cool million or two, which looks doable assuming the Matisse I got at Rite Aid during Double Coupon Day turns out to be real. But we can always use more donations from you and you and you.
To donate to the fall auction: first rifle through your stuff and find things that'll make people go "Oooh!" and/or "Ahhh!" but preferably not "Gaahhh my face is melting!" (Do not go through other people's stuff unless you're absolutely sure you won’t get caught, especially if you're taking conspicuous items like, say, a dam or Keith Olbermann.) Think political memorabilia, chocolate, books, clothing, chocolate, pink flamingos jewelry, autographs, hurricane path shifters, trips, chocolate, art, services (please make sure your service is legal in at least one state), games, electronics, collectibles and chocolate.
Then click on this link to upload details about your donation. Netroots Nation will contact you once they've reviewed your submission(s). If you know of auction-o-holics who might want to get in on the action (either donating or bidding), use this link to tell 'em about it. Questions? Just e-mail Karen Kolber at: Karen [at] netrootsnation [dot] org.
Auction starts in six days. Bring a helmet.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Note: We're throwing a New England meetup in Portsmouth, New Hampshire on Saturday, October 22 from 1-4pm. Location: the Portsmouth Brewery. If you're interested, email my lovely and talented partner, Michael, at cuckolds04103 [at] gmail.com. Just a rumor, but we hear the brewery may serve beer.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the official end of 'Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell': 13
Days `til the Persimmon Festival in Mitchell, Indiana: 10
Number of people arrested after the two-week tar sands pipeline protest in front of the White House: 1,009
(Source: The Bangor Daily News)
Increase in consumer spending in July, the highest in five months: 0.8%
Percent of U.S. economic activity accounted for by consumer spending: 70%
(Source: The Portland Press Herald)
Percent increase since 1980 in the price of a taxi medallion in New York City: 1000%
Approximate current price of one: $700,000
(Source: MSNBC)
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 184 (including 4 Kings of the East and 1 Bible autographed by the author). Soul Protection Factor 24 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Not bad for four months old…
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CHEERS to the race to the bottom. Watching tonight's Republican debate at the Ronald McDonald Library will, as usual, be like watching the race for Upper Class Twit of the Year. But at least tonight we have a showdown of sorts. In this corner: Mitt Romney, the stammering, hyperventilating chameleon who will be whoever you want him to be if you'll just take him to the prom. And in this corner: Rick Perry, the leather-skinned, gun-totin' Texas governor who gazes wistfully over the horizon as he speaks, a plain-speakin' dreamer tryin' to make sense out of this crazy world. (In the other corner: Michele Bachmann, clutching her tattered Ames straws and wondering how things could go so wrong so fast.) Tonight's drinking game: take a swig every time someone says "failed policies of the past," and a shot every time a moderator falls asleep. As always, I will see you under the table.
CHEERS to simplificationization. When you logged in to Daily Kos today, you might've noticed that Kos rearranged the furniture last night. In a nutshell, the community spotlight is above the recommended diaries which are above the recent diaries which now float in more white space and the banner ad is gone and the help desk is newly-renovated and now Kos is the site moderator which means it's just a matter of time before he finds out who took the quart of strawberries. Just remember to stick to the plan we all agreed on: Jotter's our scapegoat. It's…for the best.
CHEERS to Republican rhetoriticians. I can't stand former speechwriter Peggy Noonan's concern-troll smugness on the Sunday shows, but I never jeer someone on their birthday (her 61st). She wrote some of Reagan's most famous (non-Hollywood) lines, and was both an asset to George H.W. Bush ("A kinder, gentler nation"), and a liability ("Read my lips---no new taxes"). And her advice on editing is a bit flawed...
Remember the waterfront shack with the sign FRESH FISH SOLD HERE. Of course it's fresh, we're on the ocean. Of course it's for sale, we're not giving it away. Of course it's here, otherwise the sign would be someplace else. The final sign: FISH.
Of course, what Peggy seems to overlook is that fish is also a verb, so the "FISH" sign might cause people to go fishing instead of visiting the shack with the fresh fish sold here, thus causing it to file for bankruptcy. And all this time I thought the righties were pro-business...
JEERS to a poor reception. Yesterday Mitt Romney gave his BIG JOBS SPEECH in top hat and tails, which he read while standing in the back of a Packard convertible and evoking fond memories of William McKinley and the days when real men built mansions, paid no taxes and were never seen without at least half a pound of lard in their hair. Also yesterday: Wall Street tanked. But it will be up today, now that every human being on the planet has completely forgotten about Mitt Romney's speech.
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Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
This is another edition of The One Word Answer Man. In the wake of the GOP's raffling of a Glock pistol at a fundraiser in Rep. Gabrielle Giffords' congressional district, Caroline Brewer, spokeswoman for the Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence, asks: "Where is their moral compass?"
Gone.
Now back to Cheers and Jeers.
Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
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JEERS to games Republicans play. This one might be called, "Where's My Republican Governor?" Apparently several of them---including Maine Governor Paul "Tickle Me" LePage---don’t want you to know about their schedules, public or private. Gee, what a surprise:
In addition to LePage, Gov. Bobby Jindal of Louisiana, Gov. Sean Parnell of Alaska and Gov. Mitch Daniels of Indiana---all fellow Republicans---do not publicly release schedules. …
Mal Leary, a reporter who has covered Maine politics for 36 years, said while the type of information released by each governor has differed, LePage is the first governor he has covered who hasn't released a regular schedule.
"The only way we know what LePage is doing is by walking over and asking," he said. "The reality is, his schedule is a public record and we can (file a Freedom of Access request for it), but we won't get it before the event. It's frustrating. I think it shows a misunderstanding of the need for transparency in government. The governor says he wants to be transparent, yet he keeps most of his schedule private."
In his defense, I must admit that anytime I ask if someone wants to know what Governor LePage is up to, the first thing they say is: "Don’t tell me---I don’t wanna know!" The second thing they do is shake their head and ask if it's January, 2015 yet.
CHEERS to making the world a better place, one tiara at a time. On this date 90 years ago, in 1921, the first Miss America Pageant was held at Atlantic City. It was originally a cheap ploy to keep tourists in town longer after Labor Day, but it quickly evolved into a very expensive ploy to keep tourists in town longer after Labor Day. They're now using it as a slightly-less-expensive ploy to keep tourists in town longer after Labor Day by holding it in Las Vegas in January. Brilliant! As usual, whoever's talent includes tap dancing with sparklers gets my vote.
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Five years ago in C&J: September 7, 2006
CHEERS to Cynthia Tucker. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution columnist's take on the White House's "state of denial" over Iraq is today's must-read. Here she paints Bush into a corner:
Mr. Bush says we can't withdraw because the sacrifices of the men and women in uniform who have died there---more than 2,600 so far---would be in vain. More Americans must die, it seems, because so many have already died---a pernicious bit of circular reasoning.
And Bush wonders why his Nobel Peace Prize hasn't arrived in the mail yet.
JEERS to first impressions. Did you watch anchorwoman Katie Couric's first broadcast of the CBS Evening News last night? She wore white after Labor Day. I'da fired her on the spot.
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And just one more…
JEERS to brief moments of panic. Yesterday my partner Michael and I were in the kitchen talking, and our chocolate lab, Molly, was lying in the middle of the floor. She's 10½ years old, which in lab years means she's no spring chicken---her muzzle, paws and belly are snow-white, her hips and knees are getting creaky, her teeth are worn down from a lifetime of chewing tennis balls, and she's just…a granny dog. So Michael and I are talking and suddenly we notice that one side of Molly's face is alternating between twitching and drooping, and she's kinda jerking her head around and something is clearly wrong. Given the symptoms and her age, my first thought was, Oh my god Molly's having a stroke! Scared the shit out of us. So she's on the floor doin' her weird head contortions, and Michael and I are like, "Do you see that?" "Yeah, I see it---what the hell's she doing?" So I bent down and first checked her mouth to make sure she was breathing okay (she trusts me---I'm an Eagle Scout). And there, stuck in the upper pink slobber pocket between her cheek and gum, was the culprit: a single stray hair that she just couldn't get unstuck. And Michael and I are, like, I know exactly how she feels---stray hairs in the mouth are the worst! So case closed. Molly lives to see another sunrise and chew another tennis ball. And, out of courtesy, we won't be asking her how a kitty hair got up there. (Our doormat doesn’t say "Live and Let Live" for nothin'.)
Have a nice Wednesday. Especially you, Connecticut. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"As far as I'm concerned, Bill in Portland Maine can go straight to hell."
---Rep. Maxine Waters
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