Experience brings form to the substance of our ideological persuasion. In this way the most ardent defender of liberal values can find themselves disgusted with the very people they wish to help.
Perhaps the character of a woman, heavy with child, may be so negative and terrible that the most fanatical pro-life zealot can do nothing but wonder if this child should be born to this awful woman; or any child for that matter.
People with a strong will have to go through something pretty traumatic to change the way they believe things. Someone else with less integrity may have only a general, almost hum-drum experience with something contra their own beliefs and all of the sudden they are playing ball for the other team.
Regardless of the strength of their inner-spirit, they need to have been taught the skill of self-reflection in order that their beliefs can be refined and matured; otherwise they are simply a mindless reacting soldier of $_political%group that does no more than what they already believe, and no less what they already know. They are so committed to themselves, they can be committed to nothing else.
And so that is the danger for liberals, conservatives; capitalists and communists: how far should your thinking go? By how much should you reflect and by how much should your reflection alter what you believe?
This will invariably depend on your experiences and the degree by which they affect how you go about living your life.
I have known people to continue playing the same game over and over again, even though they'll never win and everything they've ever done should inform them of this fact. Those people do not reflect much on themselves.
And the true tragedy of those people, is that they are typically the ones that need help, typically the people you want to help, and almost always are the people that can never be helped, no matter how hard you try.
Ultimately people have to want to help themselves; they have to want to not be in the position they are in, and -crucially- they have to want to do some manner of work to change their position. They cannot simply expect a handout because I've never gotten one and few people ever do. A handout is like a miracle; you read all about them but you've never gotten the chance to actually witness one.
Dealing with these people is dangerous: you just wasted your time, your money, or strength - and you know you have because why else would you be feeling these thins - that someone else, someone who is more willing and deserving, could have used. This makes you want to not help at all.
It teaches you to judge people. "This man cannot be helped; this woman is hopeless: they deserve to be here." No matter how true it is, or how right you are, these thoughts are dangerous; they are deadly; they are poisonous.
So what do you do?
Try again.
Without revealing so much that years from now I am explaining myself to a friend; without revealing so much as to bias you against the people I know - recent experience has not been good to me and you should read on it.
I work a pretty easy job; I have to be up early, my bosses don't care about me very much, and the people we are contracted under really could not give a shit. The pay is above minimum wage and the experience has been good. I'm no coal miner, clearly.
I do consider myself a working man, a champion for working men everywhere, and a soldier in the battle against exploitation of the weak by the strong.
I work very hard, I work as fast as I can, I do a better job than anyone else can possibly do, and I'm always looking for something else to do. All I'm thinking about is, "Do your job. Do your job."
Recently I made the first big mistake every good worker makes about other workers: that we are all the same, that we're all here to work hard and build some character. That's just not true.
A recent hire has been nothing short of my exact opposite. I and my other co-worker actually achieve less now on the job than before when it was just the two of us.
If the man could give more of a fuck, it's only because he cannot possibly give less of one. The very idea of doing your job that you're paid to do seems alien to him, almost disgusting. He's rude to the supervisor and works so slowly, so ridiculously slowly, that it has almost ruined our friendship.
That's right, this isn't a random stranger: it's a friend. Already I never want to hire on anyone that I personally know. Already I'm ready to unload every nasty thing I know until my friend feels so low that snakes can look down on them.
Why is this so jarring to me as a defender of the liberal faith? Because you hear about lazy people all the time but you really don't have an appreciation for the perspective of the business class, of your bosses, until you've worked with someone that makes your job harder. Until you've done someone elses' job in addition to your own.
Of course there are some caveats. My friend doesn't have a kid, a mortgage or any real responsibility. He's a middle class kid just like me.
I don't have a kid.
A family.
A mortgage; house, or medical insurance payment.
Sure I'm a student and I'm in debt but I don't yet have any real pressure that makes me work hard. I just do.
I have pride. I don't want you to do my fucking work. I don't want you to work fucking behind me. I don't want you to think anything of me other than the very best thoughts because guess what: I'm so good no matter how much you hate me YOU CANNOT ACTUALLY HATE ME!
Is pride genetic? Is it teachable? Is it within everyone but expressible only in certain social contexts?
I cannot tell you for sure, I can only tell you that pride in what you are and what you're doing are the only interpersonal qualities that will allow you to move anywhere up in life.
My friend has the same political leanings as me; we're both disappointed with the President to the point that we don't even want to vote anymore. He loves guns and I love guns. He's a huge nerd for the new deal, Teddy Roosevelt, and conservation. He thinks the whole republican party is crazy and that the democratic party is full of sellouts and bingo so do I.
He's a man for worker's rights and fair trade, and so am I.
The difference, the crucial difference is pride as I've mentioned but also something else: and that's good faith.
I know that the corporate heads of my company don't give a shit about my or my supervisor of even his supervisor.
I know that the department heads at my uni are like the heads at other uni's: I'm a student, you're a teacher, and it's my time to shine and exercise authority and it's your time to listen and implement my authority.
He's knows this too.
But where we differ is out starting assumption: I assume that my boss cares about me in at least a basic way. I assume that if I'm working hard he'll know that and react properly. I assume that my department heads will reciprocate my good faith efforts at resolution.
I cannot tell you for sure, but my friend does not have these assumptions.
You're the boss, so fuck you.
You're the teacher, so fuck you.
You're the one with authority, so fuck you.
So on and so forth.
I believe in pain, corruption; death and destruction because those are the only things that are inherent to our lives. I believe in the great war between labor and shareholder.
But I also believe that you have to have an enemy first to have a war to fight. My friend just assumes the battle started the second he got hired; that the expectations were themselves a form of oppression and exploitation.
This has taught me many things: it has taught me that you can be angry at the people you want to help, that not everyone on 'our side' really is on our side. That there ARE moochers, and there ARE freeloaders, and there ARE enemies within our midst that dare to call us friends.
You cannot just assume that your super, or your boss, or your manager is wrong. You cannot just assume that you're working hard and they don't give a fuck.
You have to work hard. They have to see how hard you work, and THEN they have to not give a fuck. THEN you're in conflict and THEN you may fight.
Otherwise what are you doing but crying wolf?