From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
No Voter Fraud in Maine, But Plenty of Republican Frauds
June, 2011: Republicans pass a bill, which the Republican governor signs, eliminating the same-day voter registration law that Republicans had passed 38 years ago. The goal, they said, was stemming the rampant voter fraud that allowed Democrats to steal elections willy-nilly. No, I'm not making this up:
[Maine Republican Party chairman Charlie] Webster believes that, to win tight races, Democrats have brought in voters by the busload to districts where they don't live.
"If you want to get really honest, this is about how the Democrats have managed to steal elections from Maine people," Webster said in an interview that Nemitz recorded. "Many of us believe that the Democrats intentionally steal elections."
Shortly after, that same state Republican Party chairman turned over 200+ names of college students to Secretary of State Charlie Summers, alleging VOTER FRAUD!
Well, guess what? This morning the results are in, and Republicans have once again lived up to their reputation as the boil on America's butt:
Maine Secretary of State Charlie Summers said Wednesday that his investigation into allegations of voter fraud revealed "vulnerabilities" in Maine's voting system but only one case of illegal voting.
One? One incident? Really? Only one? But what about those hundreds of devious, dastardly, election-rigging college students?
"Summers said Wednesday that none voted illegally."
So now Republicans must be furiously backpedaling and admitting they were wrong, right? Ummm, well.....
Summers and Maine Republican Party Chairman Charlie Webster cited the results of Summers' investigation as proof that Maine's voting system needs improvement.
No. It's proof that Maine's voting system deserves a fucking gold medal for excellence.
This November, Maine voters will quietly and fraudlessly go to the polls and vote on a referendum repealing the repeal of Maine's same-day voter registration law. Based on the results above, anything less than a landslide victory will be a disappointment.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Note: The streetsweepers were out in force yesterday in our neighborhood. Good news: the old lady next door managed to get out of the way in time. Bad news: her walker now belongs to the ages.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the season premiere of The Office: 0
Days `til the Stone Lake Cranberry Festival in Wisconsin: 9
Time autumn rolls in tomorrow morning: 9:04 ET
Percent of Americans who believe lobbyists in D.C. have too much power: 71%
Amount spent on lobbying in, respectively, 2000 and 2010: $1.6 billion / $3.5 billion
(Source: Harper's Index)
Increase in bank profits since the Crash of '08: 136%
Decrease in bank lending since the Crash of '08: -9%
(Source: BankRegDate.com, FDIC via Time)
Amount for which a 1957 Ferrari Testa Rossa sold for at auction, the highest price ever fetched for a horseless carriage: $12.1 million
(Source: Autoweek)
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
Oh dear. I'm sure he didn't mean it. In Illinois' 6th Congressional District, long represented by Henry Hyde, Republican candidate Peter Roskam accused his Democratic opponent Tammy Duckworth of planning to "cut and run" on Iraq.
Duckworth is a former Army major and chopper pilot, who lost both legs in Iraq after her helicopter got hit by an RPG. "I just could not believe he would say that to me," said Duckworth, who walks on artificial legs and uses a cane. Every election cycle produces some wincers, but how do you apologize for that one?
---September, 2006
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Saved!
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CHEERS to takin' the fight on the road. President Obama is in my old stomping grounds today. He's visiting Ohio to promote his jobs plan, and he'll have a background that's hard to ignore:
Spotlighting the Brent Spence [Bridge] makes sense to Andy Fox, office manager for Green B.E.A.N. Delivery in Cincinnati, which uses the bridge frequently to deliver organic and other fresh produce in the Ohio, Kentucky and Indiana region.
"I would think that would shore up his cred with the hometown crowd here," Fox said. "I can't imagine that it would hurt." The bridge has been deemed "functionally obsolete" by federal standards for years. "It's just frightening," Fox said of the span that carries 170,000 vehicles a day, more than double the original capacity.
The president's remarks will be televised. I believe, in this instance, the best coverage will be on See Span.
JEERS to justice served…cold and rotten. Last night, after the Supreme Court refused to intervene in Troy Davis's scheduled execution, the Georgia man was put to death at 11:08pm---lethal injection. As the case against him unraveled, the reasonable doubt grew like a weed. But the "proper authorities" chose to play the "La La La I Can't Hear You" card, and now a possibly innocent man lies in a morgue with poison in his veins. I can't possibly weigh in on this with any certitude, but for me the last several days have reinforced an outrageous and unacceptable truth: in so many ways, this country kills too many fucking people.
CHEERS to fresh meat in the arena. There's another Republican debate tonight (it's either number six or number six hundred, I've lost count), and I have to give a polite golf clap to Fox News for allowing former New Mexico governor Gary Johnson in---he's completely cool with gay marriage and pot legalization, meaning Ron Paul finally has someone to play with in the sand box. As for the rest: will Rick Perry triple-down on his Ponzi-scheme language? Will Mitt Romney triple-down on his "corporations are people" campaign theme? Will Michele Bachmann triple-down on her "I'm not a doctor, but HPV vaccinations cause earthquakes" assertion? Will Newt Gingrich triple-down on the all-you-can-eat ribs buffet? Will Herman Cain triple-down on 9-9-9, which would make his plan 27-27-27? Will Jon Huntsman triple-down on…wait, which one is he, again? The debate starts at 9. The drinking starts at 8. I suggest you make it a triple.
JEERS to the crazy Brits. On September 22, 1761, George III was crowned King of England:
"It was a sad day for the British Empire when King George became its political master. He was a man of narrow intellect, and lacked every element of the greatness of statesmanship. 'He had a smaller mind,' says the British historian, [Peter] Green, 'than any English king before him save James II.' He showered favors on his obsequious followers, while men of independent character whom he could not bend to his will became the objects of his hatred."
Sounds like the jackass who sat on our throne recently. Anyway, thanks for the colonies, G-3! But, as always, you can keep the kidney pudding.
P.S. The current British monarch has been awful quiet lately. Too quiet. Keep a sharp eye and a sharper cutlass, lads.
FEARS!!! to Friday's forecast. The Weather Channel is calling for partly cloudy skies with a slight chance of a satellite debris shower. In fairness, the odds of anything actually slamming into your noggin is remote. But fair warning: if an O-ring ends up around your neck, the universe wins a stuffed animal of its choice.
CHEERS to the afterglow. Everyone seems to agree that Jane Lynch did a great job hosting the Emmys Sunday night, and she's been hitting the media circuit (read: taking a deserved victory lap) almost non-stop this week. Yesterday afternoon on MSNBC she busted up the set when she said...
"When I was young I had a crush on both John Travolta and Olivia Newton John. So when Grease came out I nearly imploded."
I know the feeling. (Hellooo, Hardy Boys!!!)
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Five years ago in C&J: September 22, 2006
CHEERS to the rules of the road. In another blow to our slash-and-burn administration, a District Judge reinstated the Clinton-era "Roadless Rule" that prohibits construction, logging and mining in a huge swath of our national forests---specifically 58½ million acres in 38 states. We suspect the ruling won't be appealed---the White House is so roadless in everything it does they probably won't even notice.
JEERS to global warming close to home. The Natural Resources Council of Maine says our coast will be in trouble if glaciers keep melting like ice cubes in a cocktail on a hot summer day. From the Portland Press Herald:
Maps the group produced show that a 1-meter rise in sea level would submerge 20,000 acres of coastal property, including a section of Portland's wharves and piers, parts of the Bath Iron Works facility in Bath, parts of Walker's Point in Kennebunkport and the entire Old Orchard Beach shoreline. The report said 55 miles of roads would be submerged and many saltwater marshes would be "devastated."
Interestingly, the Bush compound in Kennebunkport would likely be submerged at high tide and dry at low tide. It’ll be God's way of saying, "How do ya like waterboarding now??"
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And just one more…
CHEERS to a li'l nip in the air. We're looking forward to the changing of seasons tomorrow morning. It's never more beautiful or cozy up here than it is from late September through November---the high season of flannel, hot apple cider, brilliant colors, and Jack-frosty mornings that scream, "What global warming?!!" (Although we'll get one more burst of heat this weekend when the mercury toys with 80.) Still, the transition to The Nippy Side makes everyday life more of a challenge. Biggest pain: putting on ten individual pairs of Gore-Tex toemuffs anytime the dog has to go pee. (But if you get the vibrating kind, it's sooo worth it…)
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
After spending four months studying in the incredibly beautiful yet utterly perplexing Cheers and Jeers, Munich stood out first and foremost for its order.
---destination Adventure
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