In a remarkably clever maneuver Financial forces surrounded and captured the governments of two European nations this week. Following months of attacks against the weakest of the herd (Greece, Ireland and Portugal) Financial geniuses launched a surprise assault against EU countries across the continent threatening to overwhelm the defenses of the entire monetary system. Using bonds as leverage (no pun intended) the biggest investors and hedge funds undermined the stability of each country in turn forcing the European nations to spend billions to support the Euro and integration.
The week seemed to end in complete surrender of the current targets: the collapse of the Greek Prime Minister and the abdication of Italy's prime clown. Overruling elections and all democratic institutions in the individual countries and treading the guarantees of initial EU concepts of sovereignty, Financial forces crushed all resistance. As former and elected Greek Premier Papandreou was heaped with scorn for asking the Greek people to agree to the bank-designed surrender terms, Lucas Papademos, a former European Central Bank vice-president and Harvard-educated economist took the reins of government.
In Italy, investors installed Mario Monti as new Chief Clown. Monti is expected to run through fewer under-aged prostitutes thereby reducing Italy's debt substantially. A great sigh of relief could be heard emanating from bank board rooms across the globe, "having people vote for leaders creates such uncertainty." said one relieved banker. Financial forces are regrouping as plans for new assaults against Portugal and France are being organized. One banking leader remarked, "Manufacturing crises is hard work, you have to really be innovative to come up with believable financial threats."