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From today's Houston Chronicle Blog

God may have hinted to Rick Perry — via wife Anita — that the White House was in his future, but did He warn him of the trials and tribulations along the way? The bitter gall of endorsements lost?

Given Rick’s faulty memory, God could have given him a list of ten Presidential Commandments and Rick would have remembered at most two of them. So yeah, there could have been warnings of trials and tribulations. When Rick hears the word “trial”, it usually turns out to be something that one of his henchmen can deal with by applying cash to hush the thing up.

When he hears "tribulations", Rick doesn't worry. Those are for the little people. Those thousands of Texas folks who’ve lost their homes, ranches, businesses, livelihoods, and hope as a result of drought, wildfires, and a less-than-miraculous economy. Whatever their tribulations, one thing is for sure: Rick Perry Simply Does Not Care. He can’t be bothered to show up, or to work for solutions. At most, he’ll release a statement blaming the federal government* for not doing enough.

* Yes, the same federal government that should get out of our lives and leave us alone.

No, I guarantee you: if Rick got any part of “God’s” message, it was: “You’re anointed! Come on down!!” Follow along below the parted clouds for more...

Actually, it might not have been God… it could have been one of Rick’s Aggie buddies just messin’ with him. Then again, with all that Anita Perry has endured as the long-suffering spouse of the Lone Star State’s Secessionist-in-Chief, it’s looking more and more like this “called by God” episode was her way of avenging herself. She probably figured that, with his Texas-sized ego, he’d jump at the idea of God “calling” him. Then, after his meteoric ascendancy in the polls, followed by his Brownian motion debate stumbles, Anita came out whining about how everyone was out to get poor Rick. If he wasn't already sufficiently humiliated by his appalling performance, we're now left with the vision of him hiding behind her skirts, a beaten and broken man. Could it be that this was her plan all along?

With today’s news, it looks like we can expect some more vocal outbursts from Anita Lachrymosa:

This morning two big names among the Christian Right, two big names Perry had been courting, bestowed their favor elsewhere.

In Iowa, Bob Vander Plaats, the conservative Christian activist who ran Mike Huckabee’s caucus-winning campaign in 2008, bestowed his coveted endorsement on Rick Santorum. The former Pennsylvania senator was one of four — along with Perry, Bachmann and Gingrich — who had met with Vander Plaats’ favor as finalists for his endorsement. The organization Vander Plaats heads, the Family Leader, decided to remain neutral in the race, while giving Vander Plaats permisson to make a personal endorsement.

Meanwhile in Mississippi, Rev. Donald E. Wildmon, the longtime Christian activist who heads the American Family Association, cast his lot with Newt Gingrich. What must be especially vexing to the Texas governor is that Wildmon and his group helped him put on The Response, the Reliant Stadium prayer fest that helped launch Perry’s presidential campaign back in August.

That prayer fest was pretty much a bust. Well, they did manage to collect about 30,000 e-mail addresses of potential Fundamentalist rubes who could help organize their church friends to get out the vote for Perry. Other than that, it wasn’t good for much except a few video clips and sound bites to use in the campaign.

It gets worse: in addition to turning the other cheek and leaving Perry in the dust:

In a statement, Wildmon said he was going with Gingrich because he “recognizes the threat to our country posed by judges and lawyers imposing values upon the country inconsistent with our religious heritage and has proposed constitutional steps to bring the courts back in balance under the constitution.”

Memo to Rick: when a nationally recognized religious "family values" fundamentalist selects a pompous, bloviating, serial adulterer as their standard bearer instead of you, it’s kinda “over” for your campaign. Especially if your entire focus these past few weeks was appealing to the “family values”, homophobic, xenophobic, low-information-voter base. Wake up and smell the mesquite: they’re just not that into you. They might have liked that folksy Texas swagger, but then you went and opened your mouth, and the crowds ran, screaming, for the exits. When low-information voters judge you to be too stupid, that’s a serious setback.

If you really can’t take a hint from the Gingrich endorsement, Rick, consider this:  

For Santorum, the Vander Plaats endorsement was the first bit of good news in a long time. He’s been essentially living in Iowa for months but remained mired in single poll digits until recently, despite relentless campaigning and relatively solid debate performance. He’s now polling at 10 percent, and if Gingrich falters he could be the next candidate to take his turn among the top tier.

Although Santorum hasn’t been shy about touting his conservative Christian credentials –Catholic father of seven, big on social issues — he hasn’t been nearly as blatant about it as the other Rick. In Iowa, the governor has narrowed his campaign pitch almost exclusively to the evangelical community, with numerous church appearances and high-profile TV ads decrying gays in the military and President Obama’s so-called war on religion.

When you’re losing ground to Rick Santorum, you might want to plan your exit strategy. You’ll be lucky to win another term in the Lone Star State now that you’ve been exposed as a total fraud. And as long as you’re riding out into the sunset, take that whiny little woman with you. For all we know, your popularity tanked when she opened her mouth and the American people said: “Four years of that? Uh… no.”

Originally posted to cassandracarolina's fossil record on Wed Dec 21, 2011 at 07:08 AM PST.

Also republished by TexKos-Messing with Texas with Nothing but Love for Texans.

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