Hey, Rasmussen. Thanks for calling tonight. Of all the pollsters who've called us over the years, whether hired humans or roboquestioners, you may be the most famous. We've never talked before, and I'm hoping you had a good time, too, and will call again sometime.
I want to apologize if some of my answers seemed confusing, but they're all true. It's just that the questions were worded in such a way that the truth might not make a lot of sense.
When you asked if I thought the country was going in the right or wrong direction, I had to say, "right direction." Not that I love high unemployment, unresolved wars and all that, but hey, I've watched as millions of my countrymen got off their asses and marched and Occupied this fall, changing the national dialogue from "OMG, look at the debt!" to questions of who owns what and why.
Add to that economic numbers are holding steady, if not leaping up, that one stupid war has been concluded and the architect of the worst attack on our country eliminated and, yeah, I kind of like the direction we're going this past year.
The cherry on top, of course, is the spectacle of the Republican presidential field in a screeching brawl over who is the dumbest, most muddled and midieval. As I told your android inquisitor, I'm rooting for Barack Obama in November, so I purely love that part of where the nation's going.
As for the other stuff, yeah, I really am a middle-aged, middle-income white guy who considers himself something of a moderate (though most would probably consider me a radical leftist; I don't want to quibble over labels). I think it's too hard for women in the US to get abortions, but can't say whether it's a "moral" issue. I think the deficit's important, but jobs are moreso (why you wouldn't let me rank issues, I don't know).
I assume you'll be throwing out my sample. I'm familiar with your organization and your "leans" and I understand how difficult it must be for an organization such as yours to accept that someone who, by your metrics, should be slavering for the defeat of the president come this fall, might actually like the job he's doing.
Perhaps if you asked a few questions to determine the literacy and numeric proficiency of your pollees, it might be easier to judge their responses and predict election outcomes.
Anyway, thanks again for calling. Let's talk again.