Be not intimidated, oh ye of little faith in poetry. This will be easy-peasy. Keep in mind that you can compose your very own poems in seconds with this refrigerator magnet set:
LOLCats r funny n cute. Wif dis LOLMagnetz set, makin ur own lolcats iz vry easy. Just git piccur ov teh cat (or othr animal ov ur choosin) an use teh magnetz 2 build teh capshun rite on ur refrigerator. Cuz they r magnets, they will also hold teh picchur ur capshunin. Iz amazin; iz miracle; iz LOLMagnetz.
Geoffrey Chaucer, the father of English Literature, penned "Mice Before Milk" in "The Manciple's Tale" within
The Canterbury Tales.
Lat take a cat and fostre hym wel with milk
And tendre flessch and make his couche of silk,
And lat hym seen a mouse go by the wal,
Anon he weyvith milk and flessch and al,
And every deyntee that is in that hous,
Suich appetit he hath to ete a mous.
Compare with this William Keckler's post of 2011,
"A Sonnet in Lolspeak," and you will see that the language is virtually identical!
A Sonnet in Lolspeak, by William Keckler
Dey sez we kittehs iz not gud wif speach,
Dat we spellz bad, dun yuse teh grammerz well,
An even sumtiems dey get madz and yell
Dat we shud tawk liek normulz, tryna preech
Dere "propur" ingleesh in dere kommentz on
Teh YooToobs and such playses on teh net
Cuz dey (tho we did nothinz) wanna get
Us off teh webz. Dey's mean an want us gawn.
But kittehs dun so eesly get deterrd,
O noes, an so dey griypes and griypes and griypes
But stilz we stays and stilz we can has tipez,
An tipez in lolspeek, yoosinz ar weerd wurds.
So tho dey will complayns, try as dey mey
We iz not leevinz, we iz heer to stay.
Ai restz mai case, whatever it may have been, by noting that Kate Miltner at the London School of Economics is getting a Masters degree in LOLcats. Good for her!
Owr Grownd Roolz
The PWB diaries are a place to relax, share pictures and stories about our animal friends, LOL, and build community. If you like that, come on in and join us; if you don't like it, now's the time to click over to another diary. No crapping in the playground, please.
I would like to thank ICHC for the majority of these photos.
Arma felisque cano (Of arms and the cat I sing), opening words of Homer's Iliad
Christopher Marlowe in Doctor Faustus, referring to Helen of Troy: "Was this the face that launch'd a thousand ships / And burnt the topless towers of Ilium?" Yes, ai fink it wuz.
Parody of Edward Fitzgerald’s "The Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám" The Persian Cat’s version
And that perverted Soul beneath the Sky
They call the Dog—Heed not his angry cry;
Not all his Threats can make me budge one bit,
Nor all his Empty Bluster terrify.
Shakespeare Sonnet 130, Reinterpreted
Mai woozle's butt iz nuffing liek teh sun;
Coral iz far mor red den hiz tongue's red;
If sno be wite, why den hiz fur iz dun;
If hairs be wires, blak wires gro on hiz hed.
Ai haz seed roses painted red and wite,
But no such roses seez ai in hiz cheeks;
And in sum perfumes iz dere moar delite
Denn in the breff dat frum mai woozle reekz.
Ai lub to heer him bark, yet wel ai no
Dat chain sawz haz a far moar pleezin roar;
Ai grant ai nebber seed a champyun go;
Mai woozle, wen he moobes, scootz on teh flor.
And yet, bai hebben, ai fink mai lub az rare
As any he beliez wif false compare.
"The Tyger," from Songs of Experience, William Blake
Tyger! Tyger! burnin brite
In teh forests ob the nite,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy belleh's simmetry?
The Owl and the Pussycat, Edward Lear
The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
"O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are, you are, you are,
What a beautiful Pussy you are."
Carl Sandburg: "Fog"
The fog comes
on little cat feet.
It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.
This Is Just To Say, by William Carlos Williams
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
T. S. Eliot's "The Wasteland" has been translated into LOLspeak!
IM IN UR WASTELAND BURYING UR DEAD
april hates u, makes lilacs, u no can has.
april in ur memoriez, making ur desire.
spring rain in ur dull rootzes.
T.S. Eliot's "Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"
The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.
Eliot also wrote "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats" and
"The Naming Of Cats," which he declared to be "a difficult matter."
Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken"
Teh Rowd. Yur Doin it Wrong.
2 rowds in yellah woodz. I has dem.
I can has boff? No? I sowwy.
I iz 1 kitteh. Iz standin.
Lookie at teh rowd!
Teh grass. It has a flavur.
Ooh! Uther rowd!
It has moar flavur!
Less peoples heer! Woot!
Hm. No onez heer nao.
I iz aloan. Wee!
Firs rowd? Poo! Less flavur. It can wayte.
I mebbe furget firs rowd.
Yep. Prolly furget.
Oh, well. Stoopid rowd.
Oh! I rememberz!
2 rowds in yellah woodz. I had dem.
I takes rowd wif moar flavur,
And nao I has teh bukkit! Woot!
Jack Deth's Lolcat Haiku (syllables per line = 5/7/5)
Kitteh in Baff Tubb
Wuntz to haowl lyke Hewminz do
Wen it raynz Inside
Ob corz, there are the wonderful nursery rhymes from childhood we remember so well.
Old Mother Hubbard was a notoriously poor provider.
Jack and Jill went up the hill...
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet...
Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean...
Coded by BirderWitch
Word clouds by ccmask