From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Roses and Weirdness
Happy Valentine's Day! I tossed some horny goat weed in my cuppa Lipton this morning and now I'm madly in love with all of you and half the furniture in the house.
Did you know that eight billion of those addictive Sweethearts candies (a fine New England Confectionery Company product) are produced every year? I swear it's TRUE!!! And if they ever decide to do a version for modern-day Republicans, I've got a few sayings for 'em:
I ♥ MY BLIND TRUST
LET'S GO GALT!
WHISPER SWEET POKEMON TO ME
R U A MORAN TOO?
I'LL PRAY AWAY YOUR GAY
BOMB BOMB IRAN
LET'S SECEDE 2GETHER
MY MOON COLONY OR YOURS?
COME & SIT ON MY GOLD STANDARD IF U LUV ME
BE MY RAPTURE BUDDY?
CRAZY FOR YOU
YOU RING MY WARNIN' BELLS!
STRAP YA TO MY ROOF?
I LOVE 1% OF U
MY SECRET LIBERTINE
WHISPER SWEET NOTHINGS…IN ENGLISH!
SEVERELY HORNY
BE MY WIFE. OR MISTRESS.
LET'S MAKE GOOGLY EYES
SORRY. CAN'T. OOPS.
TELL ME SWEET LI'L LIES
GOOGLE SANTORUM. LOVE, MITT
MY GATORS, YOUR MOAT?
CALIPHATE'S A' COMIN'
DRILL ME, BABY, DRILL ME!
I LIKE FIRING YOU
CAN WE DATE JEB NOW?
TINFOIL 4 EVUH
That's amore.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Note: This just in---Adele pre-sweeps the Oscars and becomes the odds-on favorite to win the Daytona 500. Film at 11.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Mardi Gras: 7
Days 'til the 10th annual Burrowing Owl Festival in Cape Coral, Florida: 11
Increase in inflation-adjusted median household income between August and December, 2011: 4%
The last year the jump in income was that high: 2007
(Source: USA Today)
Number of applications submitted for NASA's next class of astronauts: 6,372
(Source: Time)
Average amount men and women, respectively, will spend on their sweetie for Valentine's Day: $169 / $86
Estimated percent of dog owners who plan to give their pooch a Valentine's Day present: 20%
(Source: National Retail Federation)
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
Despite all the stumbling around, we Republicans have finally picked our candidate. Santorum will take the lead in the national polls. Newt is toast. Mitt’s supposed latest firewall in Arizona and Michigan will not hold up for him. Rick will be a great candidate for the general.
---Commenter vgreaser at the Michelle Malkin blog
All together now: 1…2…3…
Winning!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: U B Mine?
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CHEERS to cave exploration. Holy [expletive not suitable for sensitive minds]!!!! From what Talking Points Memo tells me, Republicans didn’t even bother to compromise on the payroll tax cut extension---they went right to capitulation without firing a shot. That's apparently---in Brien Buetler's words---"a bigger deal than you think." Reason: Republicans can't risk another public backlash, but they also don’t want to raise taxes on millionaires, so they basically need to wriggle out of it as quickly as they can. TPM says there are other issues like this, in which the GOP could find themselves trapped like rats with Democrats claiming victory. Ain't ideological purity a hoot!
CHEERS to scoring a twofer. Don’t expect marriage licenses to be handed out in Washington or New Jersey anytime soon (it's complicated), but good news is good news. Yesterday Washington state Gov. Chris Gregoire signed a gay marriage bill into law:
Gregoire told of receiving a letter from a 16-year-old girl who had just come to grips with her sexual orienation. In the future, said the governor, the young woman will "not have to get on bended knee and ask, 'Will you civil union me'." Kids in schools will not have to have their parents seen as "somewhat different than other loving parents," Gregoire added. "I'm proud that our same-sex couples will no longer be treated as separate but equal," the governor said.
And in New Jersey, the State Senate passed a marriage bill of their own, and it wasn't even close: the final vote was
24 yeas, 16 nays. Now the complicated stuff: voters may still overturn Washington's law in a referendum (they need to gather signatures first), and New Jersey's Governor (also a Chris, but a nasty one) has pinky-sworn to veto his state's bill. Here's the big picture as I see it: every time a legislature or a governor (Gregoire, not Christie) shows this kind of political courage, it makes it easier for other states to move ahead on GLBT civil rights, too. In fact, in the not-too-distant future, I predict passing gay marriage bills will become tres chic. It'll simply be too toxic to come down on the side of the increasingly-isolated gaggle of freaks who oppose marriage equality. To be continued...
CHEERS to women on the move. On this date in 1920, the League of Women Voters---or as Republicans today call it, "that damned nuisance"---was founded in Chicago under the direction of president Maud Wood Park. It still amazes me how hard women had to fight for basic equality in the land of "Liberty and justice for all." Guys: tonight you cook.
JEERS to idiots. Once again, another state primary (or, in this case, caucus) has been botched by Republicans. Here in Maine, Mitt Romney "won" over the weekend by a mere 194 votes over Ron Paul. But the caucus in Washington County---our northernmost coastal area---was postponed because of the threat of a snowstorm. So Maine's Republican party apparatus decided that those votes wouldn’t count, thus disenfranchising a sizeable gaggle of conservative voters. But since the Washington County vote is still happening (this weekend), and the votes will be made public, the party is going wobbly:
State Party Chairman Charlie Webster said today that Saturday's caucus results won't be altered at least until the state committee takes up the matter at its March 10 meeting. … Washington County GOP Chairman Chris Gardner said the county's results will be posted after they are counted. "The fact of the matter is we're going to hold our vote, we're going to announce the results and the media can do its own math," said Gardner. "Regardless of who wins, those votes need to be counted and that's what we're doing."
Chalk this up to another self-inflicted Republican primary-season screw-up, and quite possibly another Iowa-like snatching of defeat from the jaws of victory for Mitt Romney. At this rate Obama may not have to spend a penny to claim victory in November. The GOP is doing a swell enough job on his behalf already.
CHEERS to the Valentine's Day Bandit. Every February 14th for the last 26 years, a mysterious someone has gone around Portland's downtown in the wee hours and secretly taped red hearts on virtually every street-level window. Everyone just loves it. It's so sweet. It's so cute. And it takes our mind off the previous week's visit by the Festering Sore Awareness Day Bandit.
JEERS to crocodile tears. Yesterday the White House released its budget for fiscal year 2013. Before the ink was even dry, Republicans were shrieking, "Gimmickry! Gimmickry!" These are the same people who funded the Iraq War exclusively on gimmicks, so they have ZERO room to piss and moan. (I didn’t mention NCLB, Medicare Part D, the Bush tax cuts and other massive budget gimmicks, out of the kindness of my heart---it is Valentine's Day, after all.) So there's that. But, really, the only question I had about Obama's budget was: are they going to change the composition of nickels and pennies to save money? Oh yeeeeeah…
The president’s budget would give the Treasury Department the ability to “change the composition of coins to more cost-effective materials,” pointing out the current cost of making the penny is 2.4 cents and the nickel is 11.2 cents. … Industry lobbyists stalled the proposal when Obama brought it up in 2010, but it may have new appeal to the frugally-minded.
Obama promised us "change we can believe in." And…
check!
CHEERS to new additions. On February 14, 1859, Oregon officially joined the Union, and 53 years later Arizona followed suit. The former is called the "Beaver" state. The latter is called the "Grand Canyon" state. And your mind just bowled a gutter ball.
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Five years ago in C&J: February 14, 2007
JEERS to the Maine Sunday Telegram. As a sidebar to a story on a Maine-connected soldier who was recently killed in Iraq, my hometown paper printed a list of casualties under the banner, "SOLDIERS WITH MAINE TIES WHO DIED IN WAR ON TERROR"...even though Iraq had nothing at all to do with the war on terrorism. Sometimes I think they do it just to piss me off.
CHEERS to the running man. As the centerpiece of the Air America network (fast approaching its third anniversary), Al Franken mixed fact, wit and activism to push back against the right-wing sleazecasters. Today he trades in his headphones for a soapbox as he announces his bid to unseat Senator Norm Coleman next year. Good luck, Al---you're good enough, you're smart enough and, doggone it...kick him in the shins. [2/14/12 Update: And every night since Senator Franken was sworn in, Bill O'Reilly has cried himself to sleep.]
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the power of love…and really good lawyers. At the nexus of Valentine's Day and Black History Month is some must-see TV, as HBO premieres The Loving Story tonight at 9. It focuses on the lives of Richard and Mildred Loving, who fought to have their interracial marriage recognized by the yahoos in Virginia, who considered their union illegal. Kate Sheppard at Mother Jones writes that…
…it will be the first time many Americans have met this couple. They are the namesake of the landmark 1967 Supreme Court case that struck down the anti-miscegenation laws still on the books in 16 states some 13 years after school segregation was deemed unconstitutional. These laws constituted one of the last formal vestiges of the Jim Crow era, and this film shows for the first time what it took to bring them down. […]
[T]his story about the Lovings' courage and determination is enough to make viewers care deeply about a legal decision---a decision that has particular resonance today, given the ongoing battle for marriage rights for same-sex couples. If a documentary can inspire us to look past the politics and punditry to recognize the humanity of the people our laws demonize, then it has certainly done the nation a service.
Watch the
preview here. I forget if locusts descended on Virginia after the Supreme Court handed down its decision, or if it just rained frogs. Please: don’t spoil it for me!
Have a nice Tuesday. Oh, and a word about the "Draft Cheney 2012" movement: somebody please wake up the director of online operations---I think he fell asleep again. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"I would not look to Bill in Portland Maine if I were drafting a constitution in the year 2012."
---Ruth Bader Ginsburg
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