Frank Luntz appeared at a campaign stop (technically true, but see update) for Rick Santorum in Michigan and really ran through some of his best material.
"Or, that of all the places Hillary Clinton could choose to live, she chose Chappaqua, New York," he said. "Did you know Chappaqua is Indian for 'separate bedrooms?'"ZING! That's topical. BILL CLINTON'S PENIS! I bet Wolf Blitzer wrote that line.
"When I came into Grand Rapids I stopped at the McDonald's," he said. "Did you see that they all had that new Obama 'Happy Meal?'-- order anything you want and the guy behind you has to pay for it."Hey, GRAND RAPIDS! That's where I LIVE! That's playing to the audience right there, what a professional. Still, he could have localized it further by referring to the Grand Coney on Michigan Avenue. 4/5 for style.
C'mon though, we aren't even like... trying to kill the President with our car yet.
"I actually have a 'Run, Barack, Run,' bumper-sticker but I put it on the front of my car," he continued.KAPOW! HI-larious. Can't you just see the President running from a car? I know Frank Luntz is widely known for not having any appreciation or understanding of the power of words, so it's perfectly logical to assume that the visuals of a white man chasing down our African American President in a car wouldn't bring up any specific memories from our shameful national past. Also: Shouldn't Luntz have SAVED that line for Comedy Central's Upcoming Roast of Joe the Plumber?
Let's get all ironic with it below the curvy sigil-esque thing...
Still, this was a Serious Santorum Campaign Stop. So it was time to get down to the Serious Santorum Campaign Message. Luntz claimed:
the country has never been more divided and bitter, in part, because partisan class warfare that “is not just horrible, it’s anti-American.”So after he attacks the current Secretary of State for issues in her marriage over a decade ago which has NOTHING to do with her party, her performance, her policies as Secretary of State... he goes on to talk about how Obama is all about helping the McDonald's eating masses by stealing from good people in his audience to give them cheeseburgers, and closes with a "let's run Obama over with our Bentleys" or whatever...
THEN "gets serious," and talks about how the Democrats exploitation of class warfare issues are making the electorate "partisan and bitter" and that it's "un-American" that Democrats should do so.
I assuming he then did kind of a callback and maybe said something like: "Maybe that's how the Big Chief did it in Kenya, but that's not how we do things in the bright white light of day here in America!" but somehow it is absent from the transcript.
How is it possible that these dicks are even considered competitive with us?
It looks like Luntz was speaking at the Kent County Republican Party's Lincoln Day Dinner, which Santorum did also, but that doesn't mean he was joking about killing the President on Santorum's behalf. This may have been unaffiliated freelance douchebaggery.