The Indiana Representative who wrote a scathing and bizarre rant against the Girl Scouts of America has now issued a partial apology:
After reflecting on the letter I wrote on February 18, 2012 to my fellow Indiana Republican Representatives, I realize now that my words were emotional, reactionary, and inflammatory. For that I sincerely apologize. I apologize to the Girl Scouts of Indiana and all of the girls and parents of Indiana who are participating in and running their Girl Scout organizations in a way that promotes leadership, community involvement and family values. I certainly should not have painted the entire Girl Scouts organization with such a wide brush.
This seems to be part of a recent pattern in which it suddenly dawns on state-level Republicans that being Entirely Batshit Crazy during an election year might be poor planning on their parts, since by and large the public is not, for some reason, responding positively to their Entirely Batshit Crazy rhetoric. In Virginia they have decided to put off the question of whether or not the state mandating insertion of vaginal probes into women for no actual medical reason might be a little over the top even for
them; in Indiana, Representative Bob Morris (R-circa 1692) is feeling a bit embarrassed that his very frothy and Santorumesque rant against a collection of little girls was broadcast to the general public, when he meant it only for the eyes of his fellow Entirely Batshit Crazy Republicans.
(Continue reading below the fold)
The rest of Morris' apology is not quite as contrite as the opening. Some large excerpts:
As I have mentioned, the letter was intended for only my colleagues in the Statehouse. That is not an excuse for the breadth of my letter – rather, it is the reason for the lack of research and evidence it contained.
Translation: It has been pointed out to me that I cited WorldNetDaily for my "research" into the various wingnut conspiracy theories surrounding the Girl Scouts. It has been brought to my attention that believing bullcrap spewed on a well-known conspiracy theory site is the mark of a goddamned idiot, and that quickly distancing myself from it might be a damn fine idea if I do not want to be known as national laughingstock and/or candidate for Dumbest Legislator in America.
In hindsight, I never should have written the letter. However, I still would not sign the Resolution honoring the Girl Scouts – not because of any local troops or even the Girl Scouts of Indiana, but because of the Girl Scouts of the United States of America (Girl Scouts USA) and its policies. My conscience would not allow me to publicly endorse an organization that partners with Planned Parenthood – our State’s leading abortion provider.
Translation: Having apologized, I still believe the terrifying pro-abortion plots I mentioned previously. So here some of it is again.
My family and I view abortion as the biggest evil of our time. And as Blessed Pope John Paul II said in his Encyclical Letter Evangelium Vitae, “every person sincerely open to truth and goodness can, by the light of reason and the hidden action of grace, come to recognize in the natural law written in the heart (cf. Rom 2:14-15) the sacred value of human life from its very beginning until its end, and can affirm the right of every human being to have this primary good respected to the highest degree.” I hope that my stance will help to spread the Gospel of life. Perhaps it will cause the Girl Scouts USA to reconsider its policies.
Translation: As I Republican, I have not a damn thing to say about the Blessed Pope John Paul II's opposition to the death penalty, or the Catholic Church's teachings towards war, preemptive war, immigrants and a host of other issues, which I will feel free to ignore entirely as I bluster on about spreading the Gospel of "life" by attacking a previously uncontroversial social group supporting young girls. Perhaps the Church will get me to reconsider my policies, but let's face it, that's not going to happen.
On March 5, 2004, the Girl Scouts of the United States of America’s CEO, Kathy Cloninger, stated in an interview on the NBC Today Show that the Girl Scouts USA partners with Planned Parenthood with regard to sex education for Girl Scouts. To my knowledge, the Girl Scouts USA have not rescinded, corrected or denied that statement. If the Girl Scouts USA now denies the statement of its CEO, I challenge the organization to do so publicly so that individuals are not confused as to the organization’s ties to Planned Parenthood.
Translation: And I am far too busy being a pompous, conspiracy-theory-looker-upper-on-the-internet fellow to possibly find out any more about this, so I am just going to assume that this is proof enough that the Girl Scouts have abortion-themed field trips for eight-year-olds, because believing that helps me feel better about my own massive stupidity. I challenge them to deny it to my satisfaction. I would also tie them to Hitler and the abominations of 1970s catalog fashion, but my fellow Republicans remind me that Planned Parenthood is the boogeyman of the day.
Girl Scouts USA is also the founding and largest member of the World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts (“WAGGGS”). Money raised by Girl Scouts USA is used to support WAGGS. As you can see from the link on its own website [...] WAGGS openly promotes sex education and access to contraception and other “sexual and reproductive health services” for young people. I cannot, in good conscience, honor an organization that supports such policies.
Translation: It has come to my attention that little girls eventually grow up to be women, and it is incumbent upon me as an upstanding religious Republican to hate women and to try to make their lives measurably worse at every turn by declaring that I know how they ought to run their lives better than they themselves ever could—and legislating accordingly. I hear tell this group has a connection to a group that talks about sex and how not to become that worst of Republican banes, unwed mothers and that connection is good enough for me to reject the whole lot of them as a bunch of Satan-worshipers and feminists. Now I am off to sponsor a bill condemning ladyparts, because the womenfolk need to learn that the only people who should be teaching young people about ladyparts are emotionally stunted, conspiracy-addled white men with the Grand Stick of Sexual Truth shoved firmly up their posteriors.
It is my sincere hope that this statement will end the publicity with regard to my letter. I look forward to moving on to more important issues of state policy. Thank you.
Translation: Having at first decided to hold myself up as an exemplar of Stick-Up-Your-Ass conservative moralizing about the proper place of women in society, it has come to my attention that a great deal of the nation does not want to hear that paleolithic bullcrap, and so I hope we can just all forget this whole episode, please. No really, please. I just read something on WorldNetDaily about how the Mexicans are building a highway that will lead us to all to adopting the peso as our national currency, and I think my state legislature needs to get on this new and more pressing issue right away.
And so we move on, or at least Indiana State Representative fervently hopes we all do. Good luck with that.