I have been working hard on getting this idea of a foundation/charity up and running and yesterday, we had our first "Kick-Off Meeting" where we assigned tasks.
In celebration, I took 1/2 a day off and took myself out to lunch. I had a meeting later in the day that I wanted to prepare for, so I took my reading materials, grabbed a seat at the bar at a local restaurant, ordered a glass of wine and started reading.
There was only one other person in the bar (it was early on a weekday!) and I glanced over as she was given her order to go - it looked delicious and my stomach was growling! I asked her what it was and she sheepishly replied "Nachos - sinful, but as I'm training for a marathon, I figure I just ran off more calories than this will cost me!"
We struck up a conversation about running (as it's my dream to complete a marathon as well) and she asked where I worked, lived, etc. And at the end of my summary of who/what/where/ when and why I was where I was, I said "and this glass of wine is to celebrate the kick-off of a foundation/charity I am trying to start. We had our first "online" meeting today and assigned tasks."
"What sort of foundation?" she asked. I took a sip of my wine, contemplating my answer. We were in a public place and this was a difficult topic - but I had been here before. Right after the interview with Dr. Laura, I was in a training class in Washington D.C. We went around the room with the typical introductions and during our first break, one of my tablemates asked if I was "that" Roxine - she had heard the interview. As I confirmed that I was in fact "that" Roxine, our instructor was walking by and overheard us talking about an article. She, paused and asked me what the title of the article was. Taking a deep breath, I said "I am the face of child sexual abuse." Five people in the room said "me too..."
I turned and looked directly in her eyes and said, "It's an educational foundation for survivors of child sexual abuse."
I saw her freeze for a moment, almost as if she had stopped breathing. There was a flicker of recognition in her eyes - a sadness that I understood immediately. She sat down slowly, staring at me intently and said "I see... that is something that I know all too well, please tell me more..."
Continue Reading After the Jump
Tree Climbers is a community diary series for victims of childhood sexual abuse and those who support them.
Tree Climbers sustain each other, learn about childhood sexual abuse, and discover and create ways to protect children.
Trigger Warning - The next paragraph holds brutal words. Feel free to scroll past it.
In a typical diary, you might read of someone who survived the grooming (this does not mean hair brushing), the fondlings, the rapings, the beatings, the mutilations or the death threats perpetrated by a sadistic egocentric molester of an innocent. Criminals abuse their victims. For years. Families refuse to believe the victims. For years. Victims report being dead inside. For years. Families and society have stifled the voices of victims and magnified and perpetuated the abuse. For years. We weep. We rage. We heal. We inspire.
We invite you to climb or be lifted up in our safe tree with us. We have broad branches, sunshine, hammocks, cushions, and plenty of tissues. Comment on the diary, ask questions, and share your perspective or even your story. If you are too overwhelmed to speak, you can just witness. That's okay. A few of the Tree Climbers are as silent as a jury.
Tree Climbers Rule: Be kind.
No T r o l l s. When we were children, we had no power. But we are no longer children. Climbing trees is not healthy for trolls - everybody knows that. If you act like a troll in our tree, we will calmly watch while you become invisible.
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We spent the next hour and a half talking about our shared history of child sexual abuse. Similar to me, she was groomed and sexually abused from age 5-14, but her abuser was her older brother.
We alternated between tears and laughter, a release for us both, having someone who "spoke our language." In an instant we went from being absolute strangers to trusted friends. There was an ease and comfort level that settled around us. I could feel the healing that was occuring just by being able to speak our truths without fear of judgement, without fear of retribution, without fear of being misunderstood.
She expressed interest in being a part of getting the foundation up and running and we exchanged emails, phone numbers and addresses.
The following is a transcript of the texts that followed:
Thanks so much for being a confidante and sharing. You spoke my language. Thanks and I would love to open up and write to express all my inner woes. I have never talked to someone that got it. Being so aware of my past and trying to still go through life, it is so much sometimes and puts a strain on my life and the people in it. ~EMS
It was such a pleasure meeting you today. I sent you a brief email to that effect, but you can expect a few emails from me tomorrow. And I am here for you anytime. ~Roxine
Thank you. I have this pent up frustration that I want to take out sexually and if that doesn't happen then I take it out in my relationship with my husband - being over sensitive, and getting upset when it is not called for. I am having problems with the relationship with my in-laws...I need avice from someone like me. I just take the frustration till I do something disrespectful in the relationship that I never intended. Thank you again so much. I'm at a point where my relationship with my husband has to imporve or else...the unthinkable will happen. Thanks again. The true God has answered my prayers ~EMS
Everyone has a story - reach out - share - you never know who's life you may help in some way. To all of you, victims, survivors, and those who can't share yet - This is for you -
Take My Hand
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Special diaries and a radio broadcast. If you missed the first few days of the Tree Climbers, we recommend that you read the following three diaries and also listen to a radio interview.
• F**k Joe Paterno by Rebecca, January 22, 2012.
• “No One Spoke Up for Us": For The Children Who Had No Voice and for Those Finally Finding Theirs by Rebecca, January 26, 2012.
• In Solidarity. There is No True Justice for a Crime That Lasts Forever by dear occupant, January 26, 2012.
• Roxine's radio interview. On Dr. Laura's radio show on November 11, 2011, Roxine read her letter on air (8 minutes). You can read the text in "No One Spoke Up for Us."
Technical questions? See the Daily Kos Frequently Asked Questions, found also at the bottom of every Daily Kos page.
† Following. Once you become a member of Daily Kos, you can Follow (subscribe to) any diarist or group. From your home page, when you click on the tab "My Stream," a page will open that looks like an email Inbox. To see what a Daily Kos Stream looks like: SallyCat's "My Stream" page.
National Sexual Assault Hotline 1.800.656.4673.
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