Let me tell ya, as an 8th Generation Floridian, you have no idea how happy I am that Virginia is approaching Florida levels of stupidity. Maybe SOMEONE ELSE will have their own Fark tag soon? I mean, in the hallowed halls of the history bad ideas the state mandated rape bill was an achievement. When a friend told me that republicans in the south were trying to pull that, the first words out of my mouth were "Goddamnit, Florida!"
I was filled with inappropriate levels of glee when she said "Actually, that one was in Virginia."
"Thank GAWD," I said.
Yes, she punched me, and yes, I deserved it.
Now, Virginia's rising levels of idiocy may be my fault. I say this because as an 8th generation Floridian, I moved to Virginia at the end of 2003.
I have long suspected that people born in Florida emit some kind of radiation that stimulates the "stupid" center in conservative brains, (which was once known as the Ignoramous Ganglia, but was renamed the Reagan Center in 2010 by Grover Norquist's Reagan Legacy Project). I will remind you that Newt started discussing moonbases in Florida. I think there might be something to this.
We'll know in a few years, as I just moved to New York. If the Republican Party of New York goes balls-out "I don't give a damn what the polls say" crazy any time in the next decade, I may have a new career: moving places where we need the Republicans to lose their shit.
Which gave me the idea for a new game. So, for those of you ready to play, Knowing that one of these derptastic stories is from Virginia, and the other Florida, which story happened in which state?
1) The state legislature repealed a law designed to prevent large-scale gunrunning operations across state lines by limiting handgun sales to one-per-month.
2) A would-be Obama Assassin was arrested because he posted his intentions to twitter and Facebook multiple times, directly mocking the Secret Service, while praising Ron Paul.
Answers are over the Jump.
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Jump.
Handguns on Demand: Virginia!
Now, this one was easy. If you know anything about Florida, you'd know that they would never have enacted a law that made half as much sense as this one in the first place.
The law was actually pretty okay. Virginia wants their citizens to be able to own handguns, but there was a time when they didn't want their citizens to buy guns in bulk and transport them across state lines for criminal purposes. They left that kind of crazy to Georgia and, of course, Florida. You'll notice from my tags that I'm an RKBA guy, but even I think that laws like this one make sense.
They made far too much sense for the idiots in the Virginia legislature, who passed the law despite mass protest from the victims of Virginia Tech. It was also too sensible for Bob McDonnell, the Idiot in the governor's mansion, who signed the law the day after a School Shooting. I'm not making this up.
Full story at MSNBC.
And yes, we are talking about that Bob McDonnell:
Idiot Assassin: Florida
Rush Limbaugh/Michelle Bachman/Ron Paul fan Joaquin Serrapio wrote on his Facebook Wall "Who wants to help me assassinate Obummer while hes at UM this week?" after posting multiple racist and Anti-Obama statements on twitter. He tweeted multiple statements directly threatening the president. Using an account with a SECRET NAME. And his picture. And an e-mail that contained his real name. And the secret name was the name of his Journey Cover-Band. Again, I am not making any of this up.
This wasn't the only disgusting statement he made on Twitter:
Why can't all girls be white? :(
Ron Paul 2012! Cmon guys this might be the only chance for us to get this right!
Martin Luther King day: the day where black people forget it was a white man that abolished slavery.
Ted Nugent needs to be president or at least be vice president to Ron Paul lol hes such a badass.
Ron Paul 2012 babyy
Last time i got chased by monkeys like this i yelled the N word at a martin luther king festival.
"If we wanted a nigger who would just practice his golf game and not do his job we might as well elected Tiger Fucking Woods and not Obama."
If your not voting for Ron paul next election, I suggest you do this country a favor and not vote at all.
Who wants to go out and hang some yankees with me? Lets put some south in their mouth
Obama, how does it feel knowing assassination is the only thing that can better your presidency?
Sucks that theres noo genuine churches in miami! :( why are ppl such haters and hypocrytes
[Diarist's Note: emphasis mine. After that one, I facepalmed so hard I almost broke my glasses.]
Not to be outdone by one man's stupidity, Floridians showed a heretofore unknown level of community pride, descending on the New Times article and making comments that added plenty of herp to Joaquin's derp, including these gems:
The Racist:
Hialeah Expressway? Really?
Typical Kendall scum.
fuckin' cuban..
I hope he gets ass raped daily by a big black guy.
Have fun in federal fuck me in the ass prison. A Mexican white supremacist, what a punk ass bitch, don't drop the soap bitch.
The conspiracy theories:
This just reeks of a false-flag move to me. If he's following Palin and Linbaugh, there's not a lot of common ground to share there with Ron Paul. Being a racist minority is just frosting on the cake.
Interesting that they have to print he likes Ron Paul. Smell something dont you.
And the completely unintelligible:
This man is crazy, he is latin and racism jajaj.Say No to drugs. look what the drug made.. Loser!.
Joaquin is also the front man for a
Journey cover band (I am
still not making this up), and during one performance of "Don't Stop Believin'" announced that "This song should be the national anthem," And then in all seriousness
demanded that people take off their hats.
Ladies and Gentlemen, we have arrived at that special Floridian place where the jokes write themselves.
Watch for yourself:
This video got almost no views before the incident. Every single comment on youtube relates to the man's legal troubles.
Including:
You should be in jail for this cover.
Ron Paul would hate this version. Just sayin'.
And how.
Full story at the New Times.