Mehlman (right) with NYC Mayor Bloomberg
at an Prop 8 lawsuit benefit (
AFER)
Ken Mehlman, the former Republican National Committee chair who assisted Karl Rove's plan to pass anti-gay amendments in 2004, confirmed one of the worst kept secrets in Washington, DC when
he acknowledged he was gay in August 2010.
Mehlman already is confronting much anger from some LGBT activists for his work in advancing the GOP in 2004, not to mention -- as pointed out by Michael Jones at Change.org -- his continued support for Republicans opposed to LGBT equality. Gay blogger Joe Jervis, for example, headlined his post at Joe. My. God. about Mehlman coming out as, "Repulsive Anti-Gay Quisling Homophobic Scumbag Asshat Closeted Former RNC Chair Ken Mehlman Has Come Out." With slightly more nuance, Pam Spaulding wrote at Pam's House Blend, "While it's nice that Ken has finally come out of the closet as an advocate, it's really hard to forgive him for the damage he did to the community by working actively against it for pay for years."
Mehlman said at the time that he intended to work for marriage equality. And in short order, he raised a fortune for
Americans Foundation for Equal Rights, which has funded to Proposition 8 challenge, and in the last year, for
New Yorkers United for Marriage which worked toward passing marriage equality in New York. He's engaged in lobbying efforts to
pass marriage equality in Maryland and to
prevent it's repeal in New Hampshire. He also engaged in
lobbying New York senators.
But some in the LGBT community have complained Ken Mehlman never said "I'm sorry."
Well, here it is in an interview with Salon:
As for his role in the 2004 Bush campaign and its exploitation of marital politics, Mehlman is candid — and remorseful.
“At a personal level, I wish I had spoken out against the effort,” he says. “As I’ve been involved in the fight for marriage equality, one of the things I’ve learned is how many people were harmed by the campaigns in which I was involved. I apologize to them and tell them I am sorry. While there have been recent victories, this could still be a long struggle in which there will be setbacks, and I’ll do my part to be helpful.”
In parsing this part of the sentence
"one of the things I’ve learned is how many people were harmed by the campaigns," it occurs to me that one doesn't have to be heterosexual to be blind to the collateral damage these campaigns and laws ultimately deliver (though it seems to help). The empathy gene is not fused to the gay gene.
I can't say I was ever in the camp that cared much if Mr. Mehlman uttered the words "I'm sorry." In my opinion, words are easy. Had Mr. Mehlman held a tearful press conference in 2010 and issued a big mea culpa, I probably would have viewed it in the same light as David Vitter's and Jimmy "I have sinned" Swaggart's. I'd rather he show us he's sorry than say it.
At the time I thought, "well, he's a man who's well-positioned to make a big difference," and he has used his talents and connects for good, not evil.
Is money enough?
Is writing op-eds and making phone calls enough?
Is saying "I'm sorry" enough?
I don't know what "enough" is. Does "enough" exist? Would any words or acts of penance be "enough?"
This isn't enough to get Mr. Mehlman an invite to my next Oscar party, a snub I'm sure he'll lose no sleep over.
Will it get him into Heaven? That isn't for me to say, anymore than I'm comfortable saying Heaven exists.
Mr. Mehlman's karmic ledger—like everyone's—his own to tend.
In words and in deeds, Mr. Mehlman seems to be a man struggling to find his path. I hope in the course of the journey he's on, he continues to examine the values and priorities that inform his choices, as we all should task ourselves with doing.
I can't imagine myself being troubled enough to make the choices he made as RNC Chair during the Bush administration.
But I personally don't have the time or energy to grind an ax over Mr. Mehlman's past. This week Frank Rich posted a long piece at New York magazine, titled "Whitewashing Gay History." It's an accurate, but probably eye-opening, assessment of some egregious history many heroes of today have in their own past. Amongst the outpouring of respect heaped on the late Senator Paul Wellstone during the recent anniversary of his death, it was scarcely noted the progressive hero voted for the Defense of Marriage act. I did not remark upon it myself. I presume, had he lived, Wellstone would have joined the 12 other sitting Senators who once voted for it and who now co-sponsor repealing it.
People can change. The LGBT movement's success depends on believing that is true, unless you'd prefer to just wait it out until everyone over 30 dies.
The LGBT community has lots of affirmative, positive work to do in Maryland, Washington, Maine, North Carolina and Minnesota spreading the message out that equality belongs to all Americans, regardless of party.
I don't think you can keep your eyes on the prize and look back in anger simultaneously.