I just got a copy of this draft of legislation being readied in South Carolina, for presentation to both houses of their legislature (I'm sworn to secrecy as to who sent this to me, for reasons of personal safety):
Preamble:
Whereas zygotes have been declared by Yahweh to be American citizens; and whereas that uncontrovertible truth has been duly incorporated into our State code; and whereas that same Deity has, in his Word, revealed his extreme displeasure with the Sin of Onan; and whereas we want to make our true religion the basis for the way everyone in this great State behaves; let the following bill be enacted into law:
Section I: Informational Dissemination Requirements for Health Care Professionals
Medical Doctors and other health professionals who perform routine health examinations on children between the ages of 10 and 18 years, inclusive, are required to explain to the their male patients in such examinations that masturbation causes hair to grow on the palms of one's hands and also causes mental retardation.
In such examinations of their female patients, health care professionals shall also be required to explain that female masturbation does not exist since females don't have the capacity to achieve orgasms because if they did have such capacity that would mean that God deems sexual behavior to be useful for more purposes, such as for personal pleasure, than only for procreation as Yahweh has declared.
Section II: Penalties
If any medical professional refuses or fails to perform these informational requirements during the examinations herein prescribed, such professional shall be stripped of his or her license to practice in the State of South Carolina, and their name shall be placed on a public directory of sexual deviants, described in Section III below.
BTW, has anyone else noticed that the orange squiggle is suggestive of mating sea cucumbers?
Unfortunately, my contact at the SC Capitol has not been able to procure Section III or other possible parts of this soon-to-be-proposed bill so I'll have to update the community if and when my contact produces more documentation.
I was hoping some legislature somewhere would take the next reasonable step in our devolution toward Stone Age society, and I can only hope that Yahweh will strike down our African half breed president in an appropriately dramatic and gruesome way so that the so called Progressives will quake like the inhabitants of Sodom and then be turned into pillars of bunker fuel (because we have plenty of salt, as things stand).
I'm also hoping the GOP candidates pick this topic up and run with it, so that America's light can shine ever more brightly into the surrounding darkness, for the whole world to see.