The title is swiped from a Mother Jones article. It's a quote from Will Rockwell, former editor of the now-defunct $pread magazine. This started out as a diary about just prostitution, but it kind of grew into covering sex work in general. The best definition I have found concerning sex work comes from Furry Girl. Please take a moment to look over her list. I'd have copied it, but I'm a newbie, don't know how to copy the grey stuff. Besides, her exposition on why and what is worth reading. I'll wait.
Hmm...hmm...okay, done? Good.
There's been a lot of talk around here about sluts and prostitutes lately. I can't imagine why. But several comments and responses to comments have made it incumbent upon me to diary a bit about sex work and sex workers. The random kossack, here and there, has refffered to all porn as being "rape", another referred to porn as "the abuse of sexuality" etc. And that's just the porn part, sluts and prostitutes don't fare any better here. Why? Sluts, prostitutes, porn performers, sex workers in general are your brothers, sisters, parents, children, occasionally grandparents...and yet, we're supposed to be "progressive". We're supposed to be feminists, at least as far as the ERA and equal pay for equal work, and freedom of choice.
And yet, according to Will, $pread magazine got more flak from feminists than conservatives or religious organizations. (MJ is shorthand for Mother Jones; the author of this piece is Titania Kumeh
MJ: Has $pread ever gotten flak from conservative or religious organizations?
WR: Always, but mostly "feminist" ones, surprisingly. Apparently it's hard for some people to believe that women, let alone those of us men working, are able to choose sex work over other types of work under post-industrial capitalism. Despite the fact that the sex industry is the only one in which women get paid more than men, and they want to take that away from them!
Bold added by me, and he was not kidding. On straight porn sets, when I was in the biz, the ratio was about 10:1 female:male cash. Working with a "major star" (which I never did) it was even greater; on straight sets men are props. Gay porn doesn't pay as well as straight porn. Fetish porn in those days paid more, I once made "girl porn" money for a pre-op transsexual movie. It was a once in a lifetime situation.
I "double dated" with a very few pro-Hos* in my time, they were always very up front with me as in, "I'm getting $XXX to find a boy for this scene, but they're only willing to pay you $XX." (I only worked with people I knew and trusted, if "so-and-so gave me your number," I verified first.) Plus, the "double dates", as few of them as they were, were often disappointing for the client. Sometimes, fantasies should stay fantasies. Or, maybe it was me.
But the money's not as good for anyone these days. Since the Internet and the Recession, porn has been, well, not a dying industry but a hurtin' industry. Sex work in general has not been doing as well as it used to. Webcam girls are not getting the volume calls they were used to, escort services are lowering their basic rates so that the girls can make a decent tip. Yes, the Great Recession has hurt everyone, and sex workers are no different than any other professionals, my friends tell me that they have been impacted as much as anyone.
From here on out I'll only be discussing sex work as defined by Furry Girl, the Sluts group can manage their own affairs diaries, although I wouldn't mind joining. No offense to the Sluts, it's just that that's for a different diary. I am definitely a slut, and even though the obnoxious gasbag that is ick (Rush) referred to sluts and prostitutes, I make a distinction between the two. Even though I count myself as a member of both, it's important to make that distinction.
What is this diary for? It's for asking for what we, or most of sex workers want. We want decriminalization, or legalization. We want the Pimps and Traffickers prosecuted and jailed. We want the right to f*ck, s*ck and otherwise stimulate people for a handful of dead presidents, and to file our 1040s with a "real" occupation.
See me below the Orange funnel-cake for more.
Sex workers are workers. Really. Married, single, poly-amorous, whatever, We're not all exploited, we're not all enthralled to pimps; one more quote from Will in Mother Jones,
MJ: What are some common misconceptions that people have about sex workers?
WR: That we are all jet-setting call girls. That we are all crack fiends. In truth, we are everyone you can imagine: loving mothers, daughters, husbands, friends, neighbors, drug users, lawyers, tax-paying citizens, and human beings. That we are all in this career and no other—many, many people use sex work once a month to supplement their rent or another expense. That sex workers spend their whole lives either on the street or in the best porn studios—this is a highly mobile profession, and many people change venues and income brackets very quickly.
Which pretty much says it all. When I began making porn, my day job was as a synthetic organic chemist. I got into the business from a woman I had dated who had run for LA county supervisor and lost. She had been a child model for the Sears-Roebuck catalog.(Modeling children's underwear; I doubt they could distribute those catalogs today.The old Sears catalog probably counts as kiddie porn today.)
I made fetish porn, mostly. I made fetish porn because I don't have a big penis, and the people I worked with were like me, BDSM-ers, fetishists who knew I was "safe." Not in an HIV-way, even though I am, but safe to play with on camera. If you haven't read my previous diary on porn, I got pretty much all of my work from people I was dating. They'd say,"Hey want to make porn? There's a guy who will pay for us to do what we did last weekend on video." Oh, and I did two "live shows" by prearrangement, one good, one marginal, but we got paid.
I was a screen-er for a phone sex company, and a "fantasy maker" for a while, and trust me, we didn't hire people for their looks. We hired for intelligence, creativity and the ability to put themselves into a real acting roll. One I understand has published several volumes of her poetry. Boys and girls, if you got a call back from "Danny" a 19 year old with a swimmer's body from UC Berkeley in the early 1980s, that was me.And I wasn't 19, but I was in shape. (Round is a shape, right?) Sorry, but I am kind of cute in my own way and some of you are welcome to message me. The advent of "webcam sex" has made my former profession obsolete.
In any case, my point is the same. You may know a once-a-month-hooker, she or he may be a regular at the monthly PTA meeting. You may know a regular phone-sex/webcam fantasy maker,where physical sex doesn't happen but the biggest sex organ we have is our brains anyway. Or your neighbor might be a full on, dyed in the wool Ho. Hey, I recently found out one of my oldest friends , I've known him for more than 30 years was an accidental Ho. He was cleaning houses to pay for grad school, and had sex with a client. Afterward, he was paid somewhat more than his housekeeping charges. I never would have thought he'd take the "tip" but people are surprising. He's a shrink now, and if you ever need a non-judgmental person to talk to, message me.
I have never set up my own "dates" as a single male sex worker. I suppose that may, technically, disqualifies me as an actual Ho. Or my "agency" were the people I was friends with who needed an extra penis around. OTOH, everyone who I Ho-ed for as a single male, were already buying me meals I couldn't ever afford on my own, weekends at resorts, and of course "presents"; it's just that some people left me cash, too. I would have sex with people, singles or couples, and I'd have money left on the dresser,or once, in my coat pocket. Didn't happen often, the last time was a nice couple in 2010 in Vegas for a convention.i guess they thought I was a weekend warrior, but I really was there for the convention. (I mean, I'm over 50, not in my best "fuc*ing weight and was busy with convention stuff. OTOH, the higher priced hookers get paid not for fuc*ing but for listening, talking (a little) and going away. They were a nice couple and spent a lot of time talking about themselves and their relationship. Naked, in bed with a stranger. Who knows, I don't have a last name to Google, and I hope they're doing well.)
I live in the SF Bay Area, and for a while, it was profitable for "weekend warriors" to hop on a flight to Las Vegas Friday and hook for a weekend, flying back on Monday morning. These were not people who lived or died by the business, they were folks augmenting their incomes. I haven't kept up with the life for a while, but unless there's worthwhile compensation, say a good convention, I can't see that it would be worth the trouble now. Maybe for the LA warriors who can just drive, and share a motel room "off duty". Still, PSA screenings for maybe a trip that doesn't cover your expenses? The economy sucks for everyone.
My point, and I do have one, is that sex work is work. You can buy the tee-shirt here. Sex workers deserve respect, the same as factory workers or accountants or dentist or plumbers.(yeah, yeah, dentists have the highest suicide rate among professionals, and plumbers have all those "plumber crack " jokes, but when you have a toothache or a toilet that doesn't take the poo away, who are you happy to see?) I mean, at least we're not lawyers.
P.S. My personal pet peeve, and, as an aside, WTF did the Craig's List Craig' s Adult Services mess actually DO ?.
MJ: Could you explain why you consider Craigslist to be "one of the most equalizing forces in the sex industry in generations"?
WR: Craigslist was the most equalizing force in the sex industry in generations because it allowed anyone with a computer to advertise their services for free, from a position of safety, which allows an opportunity for client screening, and without depending on 50-percent-a-client agencies and other dung flies to advertise for you. Craigslist was responsible for moving many people into safer working conditions, and the transition from Erotic Services to Adult Services instituted phone authentication and credit card registration requirements, which open up sex workers to policing in huge registers and represent an oppressive financial burden. Just before the change, Craigslist announced on its blog that 80 percent of ads had been reduced by phone authentication. The Polaris Project estimates there are 3.65 million adult services ads per year Craigslist, which means 14.6 million posters were pushed to other means of advertisement—most likely more dangerous ones that opened them up to stigma, discrimination, and criminalization. Check out Melissa Gira Grant's article on Slate, "The Craigslist Sex Panic: How shutting down its "erotic services" section hurts prostitutes and cops." Melissa was $pread's "Caching In" columnist, covering technology and the sex industry.
And for another opinion.
Stuff to read and some follow up stuff:
If you want to help actual people who are in the life because of a lack of other options, you can help with medical care, underwear, FOOD and stuff through the St. James Infirmary. Real people who need real help.
Tracy Quan "fiction"
Belle de Jour
SWAAY (for us and friends)
Bound, not gagged.
It's a rental, not a purchase.
SWOP
And follow the links in the posts above, some of them are better than what I wrote here.
*I have used the word "Ho" in this diary. I don't find it offensive in our community; it's a word like "Yankee". Well, maybe not the "yank" part, but it can be like the N-word, we can say it, it can be a term of affection, but civilian use is unacceptable. I use it as an ex-member of the tribe.