From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
BREAKING
Solar Disaster Disrupts 5 Minutes of Man's Life
A Gopher Ridge man is being credited for taking decisive action during what is being described as a "harrowing incident" involving his rooftop solar array.
Dexter P. Magill, 53, says he was backing out of the driveway at around 7:30am Monday when he was confronted by a worst-case scenario: a patch of white bird excrement had landed on one of his solar panels. Relying on the emergency plan he had rehearsed for months, Magill stopped the car, killed the ignition, and walked briskly toward the garden hose coiled neatly next to his garage door.
What happened next, says Magill, was a combination of instinct and adrenaline. "I turned on the hose---counter-clockwise, just like I practiced---and put my thumb over the nozzle," he said. "Then I directed the stream toward the bird poop and washed it off."
Witnesses say Magill's preparedness and split-second reflexes prevented the situation from spiraling out of control.
"I saw the whole thing," said neighbor Sarah Buellinger. "We were all scared. His bathroom is right under that solar panel and we could see the window was open. He could've easily squirted water right smack into it. I don’t even want to imagine the cleanup involved with that. What if his wife was in there?"
"We could tell that time was running out fast," said paper carrier Jeremy Sutton, who was delivering the Gopher Ridge Gazette when the incident occurred. "If he hadn't acted as fast as he did it could've been disastrous---he could've been late for work." When contacted for this story, Magill's manager, John Bronsen of Bronsen Bottlers, Inc., said his employee arrived on time that morning. "But it was close."
The episode is believed to be the worst solar power disaster ever recorded. There were no injuries. No police or emergency services were called.
Magill says everyone who owns a solar array should be prepared for the worst. "It was a pretty eventful five minutes. If it can happen to me, it can happen to anybody."
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Note: Hey, wanna become 20 percent sexier in three easy steps? Just print out this page, clip out the beauty mark inside these brackets--- [ . ] ---and glue it to your cheek, upper lip, or tuckus. Hello, gorgeous!!!
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the next solar eclipse: 12
Days 'til the 25th annual Baltimore Herb Festival: 18
Number of Maine's national GOP delegates, out of 24, that supporters of Ron Paul won over the weekend after taking over the Republican state convention: 21
(Source: the Bangor Daily News)
Percent of U.S. workers who get less than six hours of sleep per night: 30%
(Source: National Sleep Foundation via Time)
Number of journalists killed around the world in 2011 and so far this year, respectively: 67 / 22
(Source: Reporters Without Borders)
Percent of people who say the TSA "keeps us safe but treats us badly," the top response in a travel.usatoday.com survey: 38%
Percent who say it "does a difficult job well," the #2 response: 28%
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
The tea party is rattling Eric Cantor’s cage today … Folks, Cantor must be scared. He’s gone after Scott Keadle and conservatives. We can’t let him outspend us here. I just gave $100.00 to Scott Keadle to help him fight off Eric Cantor’s desperate attacks.
---Erick Erickson at RedState
All together now: 1…2…3…
GOP pie fight!!!!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Handful
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CHEERS to mail call from the Ministry of Benevolent Kossacks. Good news: our troops are gone from Iraq! Bad news: our troops will be fighting a nasty war in Afghanistan for the foreseeable future. Good news: Netroots for the Troops is revving up another 2012 campaign this week with appearances in the diaries by the likes of future Congresswoman Tammy Duckworth:
Netroots for the Troops is a great way for everyday Americans to make a difference and do our small part to contribute to the effort to serve the men and women who serve us on a daily basis.
lt's my personal opinion that all of us should serve our nation in some way. For those who want to give back to our troops, there are so many things we can do. … Organizations like Netroots for the Troops help us pool our resources to support our military men and women. Thank you for taking the time to contribute to their efforts.
Next month in Providence the NFTT volunteers will be packaging and shipping care packages to units in Afghanistan and also to local and regional VA hospitals. So keep your eyes peeled and rec those blogathon diaries up. Oh, and if you have a buck or two (…million?) to spare, you can
donate here tax-deductibliciously. I think donors get an aircraft carrier named after them. Sweet.
Update: Sorry, I heard wrong. A jeep.
CHEERS to poll dancing. It's on, baby! All eyes are on North Carolina, Indiana, Wisconsin and West Virginia today, as America contracts a case of primary day fever (and, in certain vulnerable areas, boogie woogie flu). A brief rundown of just what the hell's goin' on:
Indiana: The tea party aims to put conservative-but-not-conservative-enough Senator Dick Lugar out to pasture, setting up a possible pick-up opportunity for Democrats in November. Who'da thunk it?
North Carolina: The elephant in the room here isn’t a candidate but a proposed constitutional amendment establishing marriage as a one-man, one-woman deal. The good news: when people hear about the list of unintended consequences (denial of healthcare for kids, for instance), they become solid 'no' votes. The bad news: just like in all the other states (including Maine), too many North Carolinians live with their heads in the sand. I wish I could say that made it easier to kick their ass, but…oh well.
Wisconsin: Today we learn which Democrat will face Governor Scott Walker in the recall election. Likely winner: Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett. I'm buying him a campaign-trail poncho to protect him from all the flying slime he's gonna face. It's gonna be thick.
West Virginia: I read that 60 percent of the races either unfilled or uncontested in the "Show Me the Coal" state. So Mitt Romney is the most exciting name on the ticket. Ahhh…I love it when the punchline writes itself.
Keep an eye on the Republicans today. They commit voter fraud like nobody's business. (My source: the same place Republicans get their "proof" that Democrats commit voter fraud like nobody's business. It also farts.)
CHEERS to real "Mission Accomplished" moments. World War II---which got started in 1939 when Mrs. O'Leary's cow kicked a kerosene lantern into Adolf Hitler's crotch, according to Bullshitipedia---officially ended in Europe 67 years ago today. Harry Truman famously said: "The flags of freedom fly all over Europe!" And the House cafeteria famously said: "Okay, okay...now we can change the name 'freedom veal' back to 'wienerschnitzel.'"
P.S. It took the AP 67 years to apologize for firing war journalist Edward Kennedy, who broke an Army press embargo to deliver the news on May 8, 1945 that the war was over. Gee, what was the rush?
CHEERS to Kum By Yah in the northeast. With all the economic turmoil, stand-your-ground laws and paranoia that President Obama wants to take away everyone's guns, you'd think that our country would be exploding in violence. So this sentence may come as a surprise: The United States is more peaceful now than at any time in the past 20 years.. That's according to a new report from the Institute for Economics and Peace, which calculated "peace rankings" for each state based on three groups:
The first group includes rates of violent crimes such as robbery and aggravated assault, as well as the rates of homicide in each state. The second group relates to the institutions used to prevent violence and is measured by the number of police per capita and the number of incarcerated residents per capita. The third includes the availability of small arms.
The least peaceful state is Louisiana. The most peaceful state, for the 12th year in a row? Maine. Disclaimer: once the human-lobster hybrids hatch and launch the rebellion, all bets are off.
JEERS to HELLO URGENT MESSAGE KIND MADAM PLEASE RLPY V&i*GR#A HOT SEXY LOVER NEED ASSISTANCE!! We can't let May go by without acknowledging the 34th anniversary of spam. It had a fascinating beginning. Via Geekosystem, here's how it started back in 1978:
Gary Thuerk, a marketer for the Digital Equipment Corporation, blasted out his message to 400 of the 2600 people on ARPAnet, the DARPA-funded so-called “first Internet.” Naturally: He was selling something. (Computers, or more specifically, information about open houses where people could check out the computers.) He annoyed a lot of people. And he also had some success, with a few recipients interested in what he was pushing. And thus, spam was born.
Today 85 percent of all email traffic is spam. But once in awhile one of the originators gets caught and
tossed in the joint. If there's any justice, he's crammed in a cell with a bunch of chatty Nigerian "finance ministers" and their "widows."
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Five years ago in C&J: May 8, 2007
CHEERS to ridin' the rail. Forty year-old Jockey Calvin Borel and his thoroughbred, Street Sense, gave the field of contenders a big head start before charging ahead and winning the Kentucky Derby Saturday. The victory was followed by an invitation to last night's White House state dinner. Who knew they made horse tuxes?
JEERS to the worst recall ever. Every single Humvee door in Iraq needs their latches and hinges replaced. Why? Because IED blasts can cause the newly-armored doors to jam, turning an attacked vehicle into an incinerator or coffin (or both). On the bright side, the makers of the new hinges will rake in a ton of money ($284 million!), stimulating our economy and maybe even goosing the stock market. And isn’t that what America's all about.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to "Give 'Em Hell Harry." And happy 128th birthday to #33, who said "I felt like the moon, the stars and all the planets had fallen on me" when he became president after FDR died in 1945. Former president Bush claims his legacy will be vindicated over time, as Truman's was. And...he would be wrong. When Bush came into office, the country was enjoying virtually unprecedented peace and prosperity and he led us straight into depression and war. Truman's situation was a bit different. From the book Rating the Presidents, in which over 700 historians and political gurus rank Truman #7:
Ahead of him was the task of leading a nation worn out from almost sixteen years of depression and war. Truman paid heavily for the mood of the people and the troubles of the times. Contemporary opinion polls gave him terrible ratings. He was reviled, the endless butt of jokes like, "To err is Truman."
In later, calmer years historians and political scientists assessing his standing consistently ranked him among America's ten best presidents. Our poll participants give him high rankings in all categories, never dropping him lower than ninth and in the Accomplishments and Crisis Management categories ranked him sixth.
But, golly, it sure sucked when
Dewey defeated him. (I believe that was the first time a president ever uttered the immortal words, "Heh, indeedy.")
have a nice Tuesday. Dream big. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Some scientific findings are just too good to leave alone, even if you don't know if they can ever be confirmed: Such is the case for a study saying that Bill in Portland Maine could have emitted enough digestive methane to warm Earth's climate.
---Cosmic Log
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