The sentence "I never said he licked my asshole" has 7 different meanings depending on the stressed word.
I put my pants on just like anyone else. Whenever I have to leave the house.
I'd pay good money to hear lightsaber sound effects every time I pulled my dick out of my pants.
Is "not high" a valid reason for getting a prescription for medical marijuana?
Marriage is about finding your partner-in-crime because something as dangerous as love should be illegal.
It's difficult at times to be a proud American with our country's sordid history, but I'm most ashamed of our cheese.
An average American walks 900 miles a year, and drinks 22 gallons of alcohol...
Shit that's 41 miles per gallon!! Makes you proud to be American!
I'm not a capitalist. I like the little letters too.
If you're wondering why my bio now says that I'm a CNN Heroes nominee, I just nominated myself. I am truly humbled.